Parade London for Monetary Gain

They say that 100 million Americans tune in to watch London’s New Year’s Parade, a helluva figure for an event that’s only been going a couple of decades.

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Apparently, what they like about the parade is that it has a distinct American flavour; half the marchers are Americans for starters. In other words, the attraction must be sitting around the TV to enjoy a wholesome image that’s a credit to their country:

“Say, isn’t that TammyJoe, Randy’s cousin, the one that’s gotten knocked up twice before she turned 14? Sure is and look, it’s litle old TammyJoe II and III she’s juggling with!”

The Chinese New Year people will be next. Instead of Chinese Londoners leading their main event, they’d be better off inviting a load of performers from the old country and then watch the TV figures balloon.

By my calculations, we’d bring in a Chinese TV audience of about 400 million. That works out as enough advert money to sort out the hole in the nation’s finances, or keep MPs in expenses for a few weeks.