London Zoo to show live human mating techniques on Friday nights

London Zoo starts its Zoo Lates season this Friday (07.05.13) and the next seven Friday’s after that, when all sorts of entertainments including comedy, cabaret and carousel rides are laid out for after-hours animal lovers.

On its website, the Zoo puns coyly about the “buzzing atmosphere” created and the wine that will flow in the “lush vegetation”. It’s only with a slight scroll down that the hints are made explicit: they want you to get fired up by raw nature and get off with each other!

“We highly recommend Zoo Lates as an alternative date idea,” reads a quote on the site from

“We love that you can relax with a drink whilst marvelling at the animals! The perfect opportunity to get to know that special someone.”

Yeah, I tried that once. “Look at the bollox on that baboon!” I marvelled as single women fled for the relative safety of the snake house. No worries: I finally got my money back after my last-dance stand-by – a cute lady gorilla – knocked me back, though frankly I didn’t care for Mjukuu’s views on alternative comedy anyway.