Ed Sheeran and the tale of the Underground homeless

I called an old friend the other day to see if he had any dirt on Ed Sheeran, following the revelation that the singer lived on Tube trains when he didn’t have a place of his own.

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My friend used to work for London Underground and had the sad task of checking carriages at Morden station on the end of the Northern Line to make sure there were no waifs and strays trying to bed down for the night.

Unfortunately, Sheeran’s Tube activities appear to have been confined to the Circle Line, where, as he says, he could “go round and round”. But, sensing my disappointment, my friend did come up with a theory that the government’s crazy new housing benefit scheme would see more Ed Sheeran-types flee underground.

Already, the number of rough sleepers is on the rise. Sounds bad, but look at the upside – in a few years’ time, we’ll have a whole new tribe of ginger folk singers. Give me love.