Chelsea Fans are Shape-Shifting Aliens, Say Police

- Newly released official reports reveal non-human nature of Blues supporters

Thursday, 18th February 2010

Chelsea Fans are Shape-Shifting Aliens, Say Police

ALIENS turned up to watch Chelsea play Manchester United back in 1999, according to a police officer who witnessed strange-goings-on in the sky above Stamford Bridge.

Backed-up by a colleague, on 10 March that year, the officer reported seeing diamond-shaped lights "move across the sky fairly quickly, changing shape slowly", a happening that was "not like anything seen before", apart from when giant striker Tore Andre Flo jumped for a ball, obviously.

Perhaps fed up that the Blues were losing to United at the time, or simply to avoid the traffic, the shape-changing UFO followed the lead of sections of the human contingent in the crowd and left early.

The Chelsea UFO sighting is one of thousands released by the Ministry of Defence today.

Among the other highlights is from two years before the Chelsea incident when a triangle-shaped craft is said to have loomed over future Tory leader Michael Howard’s house in Kent

It all adds up as Howard was the one accused by a Tory colleague of "having something of the night" about him.

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