We’ve had sniff that there’s an outbreak of the undead in south east London and we don’t just mean Millwall fans. With a nod to civic duty and the Big Society we sent Caitrin Williams down to Greenwich to seek out the latest zombie outbreak to afflict the capital…

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Calling all thrill seekers, adrenaline junkies and fearless warriors, the zombie apocalypse is near and the chaps at Wish are raising up a special operations task force to take the blood-thirsty pests down for good, and they want YOU. So dust off the ole combat boots, retrieve the zombie hunter within and head over to North Greenwich for the battle of a lifetime.

New recruits are picked up in North Greenwich, “bagged and tagged” and taken away to the top-secret nuclear bunker where the undead run wild and nobody is safe. There they don jumpsuits, tactical vests, gloves, helmets and any other measly human protection available to guard their brains from the vicious man-eaters lurking behind the test facility doors.

In the briefing room, newly arrived wanna-be fighters are brought up to speed through loud drill-sergeant-like deployment lectures by their commanders, as well as baffling scientific explanations complete with big words and even bigger expectations from the lab doctor. After the thorough briefing, recruits are led by their commanders through weapons training, including target practice and short skirmishes, all of which lead up to the impending zombie vs. human showdown.

Then the game is on. Fighters are led by their captains through a series of uncomfortably realistic missions to acquire weapons, ammunition, medicine and finally contain and destroy the hoard of undead creatures. But, thanks to the superhuman nature of the creatures, their demise does not come so easily. A vast array of weapons are required to eliminate the different breeds of the pesky varmints. Thus, newly developed high-tech weaponry masquerading as paintball guns, airs rifles and laser guns are at the disposal of combatants, as well as medicinal ammunition that only looks like paintballs. But keep in mind that this zombie-killing concoction, known as “Z-Kill”, can save a bite victim, as well as take down the perpetrator. So, keep some juice on you, in case you fall victim to one of the hungry beasts. It’s every man (or lady) for himself in this zombie-eat-human world.

Throughout their three to four hours inside the bunker, recruits will endure battles and team-building exercises, as well as perilous unarmed expeditions that would test even the toughest of the brood. Through the smoke, debris and bloodcurdling screams, recruits become true zombie hunters and tactical masterminds.

This world is on the brink of disaster, and there is only one way to save it. So, strap on your trainers well, lest a wandering decomposing hand catch your foot, and head over to North Greenwich for a meeting with your destiny – your zombie-killing world-saving unforgiving destiny.

Words and Pictures by Caitrin Williams

Zombie Battle London – tickets and info (via Wish)

Zombies are EVERYWHERE…

If tracking down the undead of London seems lacking in adventure, why not escape the city for the day and sniff out zombies lurking out further afield in the country. A short hop from Paddington or down the M4 takes you to the barren wastelands of commuter town Reading, home to the eeire Zombie Shopping Mall. For the truly intrepid, why not take your chances up the M1 and head to the aptly named Black Country, home to Droitwich’s Zombie Boot Camp.
Zombie Shopping Mall (Reading, Berkshire via Wish)
Zombie Boot Camp (Droitwich, Worcestershire via Wish)