Pelicans Open Mouthed at Beach Volleyball

Will no-one think of the animals? St James’s Park is full of wildlife, from bats and owls to squirrels and of course the pelicans.

As inhabitants of a tourist hotspot, they might think they’re used to crowds, but they’re not going to know what’s hit them when the royal wedding comes to town. Hundreds of thousands of humans are expected in the area and most of them will at some point have full bladders, so it’s no use hiding in the bushes.

At least that royalist lot will dress properly, but come next year, the poor birds and butterflies will be assailed by acres of semi-naked flesh in the form of the beach volleyball at the Olympics. It won’t just be the pelicans that are left open mouthed.

They’re going to put up stands to fit 15,000 for the volleyball. Officially those stands are temporary, but before Olly Owl and pals can celebrate getting back to normal, West Ham will probably move in as that’s about big enough for the lower leagues. Quack quack.