How Kate Middleton can get rid of that fashion horse tag

Sometimes I’m glad I’m not Kate Middleton. As soon as she wears something, everyone else wants to wear it too, like with her wedding dress and the now sold-out Zara number she turned up in for this week’s charity show at the Albert Hall.

The pressure to come up with a new look each time she walks out the door must be immense. That’s why it struck me as particularly cruel that her in-laws apparently insist she finds SIX different outfits for Christmas Day.

Maybe it’s the Windsors’ version of The Princess and the Pea legend: if she can sail through that kind of torture, she’s proper royal material and no mistake. Or maybe they’re doing her a favour and deliberately forcing Kate to get that sick of being a style horse she takes the Queen route to Dowdyland and then no one will want to know anymore.

Good plan. To help Kate further shed her fashion icon baggage, I suggest she makes the media call her by her proper, stuffy name – the Duchess of Cambridge – and not the still racy Kate Middleton. Then get pregnant, obviously.