Gay Vauxhall to save us from the plague of the spies

Zombies are back in town with the launch of World War Z this week. In the film, Brad Pitt’s character has to find the cure to a Zombie plague. Once we’re done with the flesh-eaters, the next mission should be to sort out the plague of spies set to visit Vauxhall.

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With MI6 already headquartered there and the new US Embassy plus a huge Chinese hotel on the way, Vauxhall is going to become the front-line of all-out super-power confrontation.

Give off the wrong signals in the area, like just being there, and you’ll have your phone calls and texts intercepted and be filed as ‘possible enemy asset’ by three of the world’s craziest governments.

But spooks are bound to go undercover and, according to movie legend, they always do so in high-camp style. That’s where we’ve got them. There can’t be many areas with more camp-afficionados than Vauxhall. Cheesy imposters will be spotted a mile off. Just summon your inner-Brad Pitt and sniff them out.