All Hail Halloween

Walk into a supermarket at the moment you’re likely to be confronted by one of those cruel angel v. devil conundrums: down one aisle there’s saintly snowy merchandise, chocolate likenesses of baby Jesus etc.; down the other the dominant tone is black and the sweeties are bat-shaped.

In a survey I conducted for five minutes the other day, kids split 90/10 for the dark side and children are our future, so a fair extrapolation would be that Halloween will one day gobble up Christmas and the national religion will be devil worship and Peter Mandelson will be Prime Minister for all eternity.

You get pundits seriously worried about this macabre stuff what with the success of Twilight and Cirque du Freak, but I was a kid the last time horror was this cool – instead of blockbuster films, we had comics with names like Shiver ‘n’ Shake and ice-lollies coloured black with blood-red jelly inside – and, like then, it’ll all be over in the blink of an evil eye.

Best to enjoy it while it lasts and you can get some top ideas on how to do that with our Halloween special. No human sacrifice involved, not even a sinful supermarket splurge.