SatLav Brings Hope to the Desperate.

SatLav Brings Hope to the Desperate

LADIES! Uncross your legs. Gents! Undo the knot at the end of your manhood, for the days of finding nowhere to pee will soon be over.

The saviour of the desperate comes in the form of your mobile phone, from which you will be able to text a number – 80097 in fact – and receive a reply with the details of the nearest public toilet.

“Nobody should ever get caught short again,” said Councillor Alan Bradley of Westminster Council, the authority launching the SatLav scheme. “We understand how important that is, be it for a young mum with children in tow, older people or friends on a shopping trip or a night out.”

As well as public, council-run places, some toilets have been made available to the scheme by central London department stores, such as Marks and Spencer and Debenhams.

The text-a-loo idea was dreamed up by Gail Knight, a Clapham student, who says she “thought a text service would be really useful for people on the move.” That’s one way to go, Gail, but most people prefer being still when they relieve themselves.