Things are going from bad to worse, I swear

F**@!&N hell, they’re all at it, the f**@!&n bunch of famous [email protected]&!*rs! It seems there isn’t a celeb anywhere these days that hasn’t pepped up their profile with profanity.

When James Corden tells Sir Patrick Stewart to “f**@!&n get on with it” at an award ceremony and Boris Johnson informs an MP he’s talking “f**@!&n bulls!*t” and no-one bats a b**[email protected] eyelid, we can tell there’s something going on.

It even emerged recently that clean-cut Prime Minister David Cameron is a bit of a sweary chops.

At one function he yelled “Oh s**t!” in front of none other than the bloody Queen. This was when he was a little boy and she was on a visit to his school, so f**@ knows what comes out of his potty mouth now, but apparently, the mass redundancy programme planned for the public sector is to be known as ‘Cut the Cu*!s’.

Things have got in such a state that they’ve had to call in the international authorities to get a grip.

Yes, FIFA have been teaching refs at the World Cup English cuss words so they can instil some much needed verbal discipline into boorish, broken Britain.

“We have to know the swear words in English.” said Altemir Hausmann, one of the officials due to rule over the England game this Saturday. As luck would have it, it’s against the goddam USA. So come on ref, send them all off and f**@!&n get on with it.