Sometimes I’m glad I’m not Kate Middleton. As soon as she wears something, everyone else wants to wear it too, like with her wedding dress and the now sold-out Zara number she turned up in for this week’s charity show at the Albert Hall.


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The pressure to come up with a new look each time she walks out the door must be immense. That’s why it struck me as particularly cruel that her in-laws apparently insist she finds SIX different outfits for Christmas Day.

Maybe it’s the Windsors’ version of The Princess and the Pea legend: if she can sail through that kind of torture, she’s proper royal material and no mistake. Or maybe they’re doing her a favour and deliberately forcing Kate to get that sick of being a style horse she takes the Queen route to Dowdyland and then no one will want to know anymore.

Good plan. To help Kate further shed her fashion icon baggage, I suggest she makes the media call her by her proper, stuffy name – the Duchess of Cambridge – and not the still racy Kate Middleton. Then get pregnant, obviously.