Harrods is to put its staff on degree courses on the 'art of selling', it came out this week.
The course goes big on the psychology of shopping, which seems fair enough from the store's perspective. But as a customer, does that mean our body language and our every word will be more heavily scrutinised than Fabio Capello in a World Cup press conference?
Probably the Psycho/Sales staff will be miked up to the CCTV operation and vital intelligence reports beamed ahead.
"Calling Home Furnishings. Come in Home Furnishings. Nervous type at Six O'Clock. Repeat, nervous type at Six O'Clock. Avoidance of eye contact 65% more likely to result in sale."
I could have done with someone with a fleeting relationship with the art of selling in the café the other day.
When I ordered bacon, egg and chips - admittedly a crazy meal selection - it was all mock shock, like I'd asked Harrods to stop looking at me like that.
A lazy finger pointed towards the board, where bacon, egg and chips did not exist as a sovereign entity, but languished instead under the jackboot of bacon 'n' egg and egg 'n' chips. I ended up paying for both official meals to make my point. Yes, no one needs a degree to see "Mug" written on my face.