Sarah Jessica Parker has been named the Unsexiest Woman Alive.
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The Sex and the City actress, who is most famous for her role as sex columnist Carrie Bradshaw in the hit US TV show, was given the dubious honour in the online poll by men’s website maxim.com.
In a scathing attack on the 42-year-old actress, Maxim.com writers – who compiled the poll – likened Sarah Jessica to famous US racehorses Barbaro and Secretariat and insisted they would rather get up close and personal with her Sex and the City co-star Chris Noth.
One Maxim.com writer said: “How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with “sex” in the title?
“Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we would rather ride your co-star Chris Noth!”
Troubled British singer Amy Winehouse – whose beehive hair and prominent eyeliner has been copied by teenage girls worldwide – finished in second place.
Another Maxim.com writer revealed: “When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, now there is a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly haemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, ‘Nooo, nooo, nooo!'”
Grey’s Anatomy star Sandra Oh is in third place, while 49-year-old “menopausal” singer Madonna finished fourth and was ridiculed for her adoption of Malawi boy David Banda.
The survey said of Madonna: “Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial
deterioration.
“Combine a Paris Hilton-like pet accessorising fetish – only for dirt-poor foreign babies – with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you’ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.”
Britney Spears – whose behaviour has spiralled out of control this year with her wild partying, drug taking, shaving her head and bizarre performance at the MTV Video Music Awards – rounded up top five.
One Maxim.com contributor claimed: “Britney has lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of pudge.”
