What do we have for entertainment? asked Joe Strummer in the song The Magnificent Seven. Cops kicking gypsies on the pavement was one of the answers. Times were tough.
But Strummer just missed out on the London International Tattoo Convention, which, in its ninth outing this weekend, solves the age-old entertainment problem by throwing a cracking selection of magnificent performers at us, from burlesque dancers and sword-swallowers to strippers and 300 big name tattoo artists. Among the acts are the fire-breathing The Fuel Girls, Urban Voodoo Machine and an exhibition of tattoos inspired by rock music.
Not sure if any of those feature Strummer - though he is a popular subject for body art - but there is a beer called Punk IPA to fuel the atmosphere as many of the convention's punters enter various tattoo competitions, including Best Back Piece, which Cheryl Cole would probably stroll if she turned up.
The London International Tattoo Convention is based at Tobacco Dock in Wapping. It runs from Friday 27-Sunday 29 September. Tickets start at £20.