Stop! That! Train! (15)

Stank Rail co-workers and best friends Tess and DeeDee lose their jobs shortly before the beginning of a shift and the enterprising duo blag their way on board luxury rival, the Glamazonian Express, posing as new hires. An escaped pet scorpion stings conductor Davenport, leaving Tess, DeeDee and inexperienced co-conductor Cal in charge of a runaway train heading into a once-in-a-lifetime meteorological event - a stormaganza.

LondonNet Film Review

Stop! That! Train! (15) Film Review from LondonNet

Drag pioneer RuPaul Charles sashays away from judging his Emmy Award-winning competition series to get America back on track in a zany comedy that can be succinctly summed up as Airplane! on a train. Screenwriters Christina Friel and Connor Wright fail to cause a locomotion with a disaster movie scenario laden with puns, malapropisms and Drag Race sight gags including a recreation of Sasha Velour’s rose petal wig reveal….

Stank Rail co-workers and best friends Tess (Ginger Minj) and DeeDee (Jujubee) lose their jobs shortly before the beginning of a shift and the enterprising duo blag their way on board luxury rival, the Glamazonian Express, posing as new hires. First class stewardesses Amber (Brooke Lynn Hytes), Alli (Marty Lauter) and Ayshleiygh (Symone) go out of their way to bully and belittle the rookies, who are happily consigned to the economy carriage.

An escaped pet scorpion stings conductor Davenport (Chris Parnell), leaving Tess, DeeDee and inexperienced co-conductor Cal (Brian Jordan Alvarez) in charge of a runaway train heading into a once-in-a-lifetime meteorological event – a stormaganza. As the locomotive speeds down the tracks, United States Train Command Center employee Donna Dusk (Rachel Bloom) overcomes the flagrant chauvinism of colleagues to brainstorm solutions to the impending catastrophe. Meanwhile, in the corridors of power in Washington DC, incumbent US president Judy Gagwell (RuPaul Charles) calls on her military training with the now-defunct United Train Force to manage the Glamazonian Express crisis and boost her plummeting approval ratings with the help of her obsequious press secretary (Matt Rogers).

The punctuation is on point in Stop! That! Train!. It’s a pity the script serving the tomfoolery isn’t sharper because some of the funniest Drag Race alumni including Latrice Royale, Monet X Change and Angeria Paris VanMicheals are repeatedly short-changed. Even with their impeccable timing and innate charm, they can’t spin straw into comedy gold. Out-takes embedded in the end credits prove the cast were having a blast making the film but their laughter, regrettably, doesn’t transmit through the screen.

Director Adam Shankman, who masterminded the effervescent 2007 musical film version of Hairspray, delivers a pair of energetic lip-sync sequences with original songs composed by Leland. These interludes play to the strengths of a core cast of drag divas and are reminiscent of the musical challenges on the TV show. Again, neither is particularly funny but any acceleration of tempo is a welcome distraction from the metronomic thuds of jokes falling flat. Ginger Minj and Jujubee are two of the strongest dramatic performers from the Drag Race franchise and they are a sweetly appealing double act in faux jeopardy. Their charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent is far greater than Shankman’s lumbering and lacklustre picture deserves.

– Kim Hu