Ozzy Osbourne

The veteran rocker and reality TV show star is to bring his legendary band, Black Sabbath, to the British Summertime Festival at Hyde Park in July. The news has triggered some painful memories for Osbourne. 'The first time I came to London I didn't have a pot to piss in,' he said. Tickets for British Summer Time here.

Kate Winslet

Fresh from being handed a Hollywood pavement star she's in town for Sunday's premiere of Divergent, along with co-stars Shailene Woodley and Theo James. The whole of Leicester Square is to be revamped as a dystopian landscape in their honour. Divergent opens for real on Friday 4 April.

Kate Bush

The Wuthering Heights songstress is to add seven more nights to her run at the Hammersmith Apollo at the end of September. Tickets available right here.

Chris Martin

The Coldplay front man has has split up with Gwyneth Paltrow, his wife of eleven years. It seems London itself was part of the problem, as the Every Teardrop is a Waterfall singer wanted to come home, but Paltrow preferred LA.

Damon Albarn

The Blur frontman from Leytonstone has released previews of one of the songs - Heavy Seas of Love - from his forthcoming solo album Everyday Robots, out on 28 April. Heavy Seas of Love features the voice of Brian Eno - link here.

Boy George

The Culture Club singer says his sex life is 'boring'. 'My gayness takes up only about two hours a month, and that might be pushing it,' he said. George was let out of prison in 2009 after doing time for chaining a male escort to a radiator.

James Bond

007's new mission takes him to the London Film Museum in Covent Garden, where what's billed as the 'largest collection of James Bond vehicles' goes on show from today, 21 March. Includes our man's Aston Martin DB5 and the Lotus Esprit.

Emma Watson

Looks like she'll be swapping her wizard legs for a slimy tail as the Harry Potter actress is favourite to star in a new version of The Little Mermaid, directed by Sofia Coppola, who worked with Watson on The Bling Ring.

Kevin Spacey

'I can't wait to be back on stage,' said Spacey as he announced his new one-man show - Clarence Darrow - at the Old Vic, where he has been director for ten years. Darrow was the lawyer in the famous Scopes Trial, which pitted evolution against creationism. Starts 28 May.

Cressida Bonas

She's moved into a flat in Shepherd's Bush so she can be within mwah-ing distance of Prince Harry, who beds down with Will and Kate at Kensington Palace. 'She has been hunting for somewhere nice and cheap but also close to Kensington Palace,' a source told Hello! magazine.

Lily Allen

Fears are growing that the singer's marriage to Sam Cooper is on the rocks after Allen revealed she has joined a dating site. 'Just discovered Tinder. *Waves goodbye to life*,' she tweeted. She's also changed her Twitter name from Lily Cooper back to Lily Allen.

Charlie the Parrot

Beat the feathered competition to land a job at Legoland as Parrot-in-Residence for the new Castaway Camp attraction, thanks to her ability to play dead. Charlie had 'that extra touch of piratey mischief,' said a spokesperson. Tickets here.

Prince Charles

Admits that he's 'been taking lessons in grandfatherhood', though it looks like he could do with some extra homework as he calls grandson, George, a 'thing'.'I know when something needs a bottle, or maybe it's something else,' he explained.

We Will Rock You

The Queen musical is to close after a 12-year run. Written by Ben Elton, the show will have racked up 4,600 performances when the curtain falls at the Dominion theatre for the last time, on 31 May. Book tickets for We Will Rock You.

Kate Winslet

To be awarded a pavement star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. 'Fans around the world have been anxiously waiting for this special day to come,' gushed star organiser Ana Martinez. Winslet herself is staying modest, admitting her famous performance in Titanic was 'awful'.