Londoner

Fake Pound Coins

The Royal Mint admits that there are now 41 million counterfeit pound coins in circulation. With one in every 36 now fake - compared to 1 in 40 last year -they may be forced to reissue the entire denomination.

Orlando Bloom

Married Aussie supermodel Miranda Kerr in a hush-hush ceremony in Los Angeles. The happy couple are set to live in his Hampstead home after their honeymoon.

James Bond's Aston Martin

The original silver DB5, the classiest car in cinema history, was back in London yesterday, for a publicity shoot ahead of going up for auction in October. Yours for about £3M.

Chelsea Vuvuzelas

Could be noisy down Stamford Bridge this season. The Blues are the only top flight London club to have ruled out a ban on the crazy fart/trumpet instruments from the World Cup.

Flying Ants

Yesterday's invasion by the little monsters is unlikely to be repeated today as the cooler weather puts paid to their evil plans for city wide domination.

Christmas

The sun's shining, but, according to Selfridges, Santa is on his way. The store opens its Christmas department on 2 August, the earliest ever. 'I can see a time when we offer a Christmas collection throughout the year,' said Selfridges spokesperson.

Roxy Music

Legendary band that struck it big in the 1970s have announced their first UK tour in 10 years. They won’t get to London's O2 until 7 February 2011, but you can book tickets for the tour already.

Bob Crow

RMT union leader has backed three one-day strikes by workers on the Docklands Light Railway on 23 and 27 July and 6 August. DLR staff, says Crow, need to be 'properly compensated' for the extra work involved with the addition of a third carriage to DLR trains.

Stella McCartney

The fashion designer is to create the kit for Britain's team at the 2012 London Olympics. 'It is an amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity,' she said.

Horse s**t!

No it's true, equine manure from the Royal Horse Artillery will be used to power the regiment's new HQ when it moves to Woolwich in 2011. 'The MOD is committed to aggressive reductions in carbon emissions,' said a spokesperson, sounding like they're going to bomb CO2.

Cheryl Cole

She's out of intensive care, but she's also out of the V Festival and X Factor shows following a bout of malaria that reportedly left her close to death.

The Sting, Regent Street

Thousands turned up on Thursday for the opening of the latest youth fashion shop that comes across a bit like Abercrombie and Fitch and Hollister. 11,000 people had earlier applied for the 140 jobs available.

Whoopi Goldberg

To join the London Palladium Sister Act cast on 10 August for a three week spell. Not in her film role, Deloris Van Cartier, but as the Mother Superior.

Coutts the bankers

Unless you have £250,000 swilling around, they'll charge you £150 every quarter. A bit sniffy for a bank owned by the taxpayer. Coutts wouldn't say if their most famous customer, the Queen, was liable for the new charge.

Coutts the bankers

Unless you have £250,000 swilling around, they'll now charge you £150 every quarter. A bit sniffy for a bank owned by the taxpayer. Coutts wouldn't say if their most famous customer, the Queen, was liable for the new charge.