Londoner

Passport Checkers

They're set to cause long delays to travellers at London's airports over the next two days as UK Border Agency staff go on strike in a dispute about changes to shift patterns.

Claire Rayner

She's died, aged 79. Born in the East End, diagnosed as 'insane' when young, she went on to become a nurse, Britain's top agony aunt and a feisty campaigner on health. 'Tell David Cameron that if he screws up my beloved NHS, I'll come back and bloody haunt him,' were the words she said would be her last.

Madonna

The Queen of Pop is moving back to London, two years after she left for New York following the divorce with Guy Ritchie. 'England is where she feels her heart is now,' said a source. She needs to apply for a residence visa first, though.

Johnny Depp

Dressed in full Captain Jack Sparrow kit, the Pirate of the Caribbean turned up to give the assembly at Meridian primary school yesterday. Nine-year-old Beatrice Delap had written asking for help in a mutiny against the teachers. Depp advised against any rebellion.

Sebastian Coe

The London Olympic chief announced today that 100,000 people have already applied to be Games Makers AKA volunteers for the 2012 Games. There are still three weeks left to put yourself forward.

Amy Winehouse

'Look at me, I'm back,' she said at the Hawley Arms in Camden last night, as she did a surprise turn, including songs from her upcoming album, in front of 100 fans at a charity show.

Norman Wisdom

From the back streets of 1920s west London to the bright stage of the West End, by the 50s Wisdom was one of Britain's biggest stars, named by Charlie Chaplin as his 'favourite clown'. He died yesterday aged 95.

Harry Potter

Set for a comeback after author JK Rowling revealed she has plans for books eight and nine. No word on nine and three quarters, though.

M4 Bus Lane

To be scrapped from 24 December 2010. It will make a comeback for the London Olympics in 2012, but is then to be driven into the dustbin of traffic jam history for good.

Russell Brand

The wedding to Katy Perry - booked for next month - is now in jeopardy, say sources, thanks to Brand's court case, also in October. He's accused of pushing a photographer who allegedly tried to do an upskirt number on the Teenage Dream singer.

Emma Watson

Beat the likes of Victoria Beckham, Keira Knightley and Cheryl Cole (2nd, 3rd and 4th) in a poll of 25,000 to claim glamour.com's Best Dressed Brit title. Robert Pattinson took the men's prize.

Dita Von Teese

'With such a vibrant fetish scene, London has always been one of my favourite places to perform,' said the burlesque star, who brings her Opium Den act to the Erotica show at Olympia on 19, 20 and 21 November. Get tickets here.

Russell Brand

Former hell-raiser had the "most sober stag party in the history of nightclubs," according to host Peter Stringfellow. Over in Los Angeles, Katy Perry made up for hubbie-to-be's dullness by scoffing a penis-shaped cake.

The Queen

In 2004, she tried to get grants that were meant for schools and hospitals to heat her palaces and castles. 'I feel uneasy about the probable adverse press coverage if the Palace were given a grant at the expense of say a hospital,' said a government official in response.

Jade Jagger

When young, she was babysat by Andy Warhol. 'I peed on his photo base paper,' she says. Warhol asked her to do it again. All part of her education, it seems. Hanging around creative types like Warhol 'inspired me in my posterior artwork,' says Jade. No doubt.