Londoner

Kate Moss

At the Oxford Street branch of Topshop last night to launch the last line - inspired by the 1970s - in her series of designs for the chain store.

The XXXXL Suit

The biggest off-the-peg suit ever seen in Britain has gone on sale. The jacket has a 64 inch chest, the trousers a 60 inch waist. High and Mighty, the suit's makers, say: 'We aim to be a place where people get measured properly for clothes that actually fit.' If they can get through the door.

Charlie Chaplin and the Time Traveller

Filmmaker George Clarke has spotted a cast member in one of the great comedian's movies - The Circus - with what looks like a mobile phone. "It was kind of like, 'Wow, that's somebody that's went back in time'," said Clarke.
Video: Time Travelling Charlie Chaplin Extra

James Bond

007's most famous car - the Aston Martin DB5 - was sold for £3M at Sotheby's in London last night. New owner Harry Yeaggy plans to store it in his private car museum in Ohio.

Martin Broughton

The Chairman of BA who has spoken out about the 'pointless' nature of many security checks at UK airports. He adds that we should cease “kowtowing” to the USA over such measures.

Stoke Newington Secondary School

The north London school that has introduced lessons on gay historical figures - including Oscar Wilde, Alan Turing and Andy Warhol - who suffered persecution. They claim this has resulted in them "more or less eliminating homophobic bullying" in the school's classrooms and playgrounds over the last five years.

Gregory Isaacs

The Jamaican legend has died, aged 59, at his London home. The singer song writer, who penned the classic tune Night Nurse, had been suffering from cancer for a long time. R.I.P. Mr Isaacs.

Martin Freeman aka Bilbo Baggins

The Office and Sherlock star is to play The Hobbit in the screen version of JRR Tolkien's famous book. 'He's intelligent, funny, surprising and brave - exactly like Bilbo,' said the film's director, Peter Jackson, tactfully missing out that other key similarity - short.

Keira Knightley

Set to star as a lesbian teacher on the West End stage in a revival of The Children's Hour. Banned back in the 1930s, it was later made into a film starring Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine. American TV star Rosie O'Donnell is rumoured as Keira's love interest.

Lily Allen

Admits she has 'a really stupid list of names' for the baby boy she is carrying, but is worried that 'he'd get the p**s taken out of him on the building site' run by dad Sam. Compromise would be to call the newborn Key, as an Allen Key is always handy for construction work.

Mika's Sister

Paloma Pennima, impaled on railings in Kensington following a 50 feet fall last week, is set to make a miraculous recovery after a series of ops at the Royal London Hospital. 'Things are looking remarkably good considering what happened,' said Mika.

Mick Jagger

After Keith Richards called it a 'tiny todger', Mick's manhood has today had its reputation stiffened by ex-wife Jerry Hall. 'Mick is very well endowed,' she said. 'I should know.'

Cheryl Cole

She and Ashley had a 'great marriage' and 'she will always love him', the X Factor judge tells Piers Morgan in an interview to be broadcast next week. As the song goes, 'If that's a happy marriage, I 'd prefer to stay... unhappy!'

Russell Brand

Would like a time machine as he 'wants to get married in Victorian London'. In the absence of time travel, he said it will be somewhere 'dusty', adding to rumours the wedding to Katy Perry is set for India. Apparently he will arrive on a horse, accompanied by camels and elephants.

Passport Checkers

They're set to cause long delays to travellers at London's airports over the next two days as UK Border Agency staff go on strike in a dispute about changes to shift patterns.