Londoner

Tony Abbott

The Australian PM is in town to argue that more of his compatriots should be allowed into the UK. EU rules have seen a drop in Oz immigration and now Abbott has Boris Johnson onside, the London Mayor calling the rules 'discriminatory'.

Lucky Tube Baby

A child in a buggy was recused by its mother after being blown onto the tracks at Goodge St underground station. Fulls marks to mum, but that wasn't what they meant by Test Tube Baby. Video of the extraordinary incident here.

Robbie Williams

The Take That star hasn't yet bothered to stay at the £1.75 million home in Holland Park he bought off Michael Winner last year. The 46-room house 'has a staff in place, but Robbie has opted for hotels when he's been in London,' said a source.

Martin Johnson

The former England rugby captain was at the ExCel yesterday to open the RideLondon Cycling Show. RideLondon proper, complete with a car-free central London, takes place over the weekend. Other stars set to join in include Chis Boardman and TOWIE's Lydia Bright.

Eastenders

Like in the TV soap, they're the unhappiest people in Britain, according to a new survey, in which London areas filled out the top ten most miserable places to live, with Ilford and Croydon runners-up in the sad stakes.

Dave Grohl

'Can't wait to do our thing for you,' said Grohl on the news that he's bringing the Foo Fighters to London to play the Invictus Games' closing concert at the Olympic Park on 14 September. You get your tickets here.

Transdermal Tag

That's the official name for new anklets that can tell if you've been on the booze. Starting with 150 people convicted of alcohol-related crimes, the tags going on trial in Croydon, Lambeth, Southwark and Sutton.

Bradley Cooper

Pictures emerge of the meaty actor flipping burgers in the Leicester Square branch of Burger King. Not a permanent job, sadly - he was shooting scenes for his next movie Adam Jones, which is about a chef.

George Michael

After all these years (28 of them), all it took was a meal with Andrew Ridgely and he's ready to reunite Wham! 'He came round and cooked,' said Michael. 'We were talking about a Wham! reunion at Glastonbury'.

5G

Boris Johnson has pledged that by 2020 London will have 5G technology, putting us among the first in the world to get the upgrade, which allows whole movies to be downloaded in seconds. 'We need to ensure every Londoner is able to access the very best digital connectivity,' said the Mayor.

Electric Super Ants

Thousands of weird ants have turned up in Hendon, where they are chewing electric cables, ready for a move on the rest of London. 'They get attracted to electricity and take up residence in plug sockets and power sources, creating a fire hazard,' said one wildlife expert.'They are pretty tough little creatures.'

Millionaires

There are now 281,000 dollar millionaires - not counting property - in town, according to a new survey, which ranks London third in the world for seven-figure types, behind Tokyo and New York.

Lionel Messi

The world's best footballer reportedly fancied a move to Arsenal this summer, but the north London club couldn't face paying the £200 million transfer fee.

Damon Albarn

The Blur and Gorillaz popster is writing a West End musical. 'It's something I've always wanted to do, because musicals are great when they're done well,' he reasoned.

Terry Jones

The Monty Python star has given his backing to the Sunday living wage strikes at the Ritzy cinema, urging cinema-goers to boycott his own film. 'Ask for your money back for Ritzy Cinema Brixton,' he Tweeted.