LondonNet News Headlines
11/05/00
Dirty London Gone to the Dogs
- Northerners cleaner than cluttered capital

LONDONERS keep the dirtiest homes in the country, according to an American property expert.

"The amount of clutter is quite astonishing," said Ann Maurice of Channel 5's House Doctors show. "Animals tend to be a problem. One woman said her dog had never been bathed. Potential buyers come away smelling like a dog. They are simply not going to buy."

Maurice said that Northern houses were much cleaner than those in London and the south-east, confirming an old ditty sung by some of our friends in the north which begins with the line, "In your Cockney slums," and includes hurtful lyrics such as: "You look through the dustbin for something to eat/You find a dead cat and think it's a treat."

Meanwhile, some London buildings at the opposite end of the market to the flea-bitten pits found by Maurice, are up for sale. Prime properties such as the Dorchester Hotel, the Playboy Club, Asprey Jewellers and Embankment Place are all likely to be sold off by the Sultan of Brunei who needs the cash, poor thing, to pay off his brother's debts.



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