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London ­ The Coolest City on the Planet?


You've heard all that stuff about London being the coolest city on earth...what is cool is in a state of constant change...

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The best way to see any city is to tag along with people who actually live there...


You've heard all that stuff about London being the coolest city on earth, and you've decided to come and see what all the fuss is about. But where do you start your exploration of all that is hip to the London beat, cats?

What people, and cats, generally mean when they bang on about London's COOL is its special 'street scene' which periodically gets taken up by the high falutin' worlds of fashion, music and literature.

You know, the punk spirit and all that. But it can be tough for a tourist to sort out what is real street from what is fake street, or to put it another way, it can be hard to push your way past Leicester Square.

Leicester Square is not a street. It is a square. That ought to be clue enough to the aspiring street-seeker, but you would be surprised at how many hapless tourists believe that London's street scene begins and ends at the famous cinema venue.

There is nothing wrong with Leicester Square, by the way. It is a great place for people watchers to congregate and watch other people watchers schlepp around in mass, short-circuited confusion. And it's good for films.

But it isn't cool. Not even close. Trouble is, what is cool is in a state of constant change. And that choppy-changey cultural flux can flux you up good and proper if you are not one of the in crowd.

So you need help, and we are here to help you. Throughout the coming weeks, LondonNet will offer invaluable ways for the everyday tourist to step off the everyday tourist track and discover the London that everybody else wishes they knew about.

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The best way to see any city is to tag along with people who actually live there, and London is no exception to this general rule. But if you're looking to be cool you don't want to join some cruddy pen-pal scheme, especially as practically all pen pals, of whatever sexual orientation, have an overwhelming aim to disgorge their deeply held religious beliefs before inviting you to tea with their grandparents, with a view to subsequent marriage.

What you want is to have some real London type friends, or 'mates' as many Londoners would say, and if you haven't got any mates before you arrive that could prove tricky to achieve, mate.

With limited time at your disposal, how can you establish the kind of close relationship necessary to let you inside the secrets of Londonness?

Love, my friends, is the answer, or failing that a lethal combination of sex, stimulants and spondooliks. Given your lack of time, you have no real alternative but to play on your national stereotype in a bid to win the hand of your chosen belle or beau.


Guide for Foreigners on How to Pull London Guys and Gals

"Pull": score, get-off with, get sorted, cop-off with, strike it lucky, etc


Good News. American girls can do no wrong as far as the hot blooded London male is concerned...

American guys have two ways to go; clean cut or grunge...


German girls have one overriding problem as far as winning the hearts of London lads is concerned...

Let's be honest about this: German men do not enjoy a great reputation in London...

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