Any second now, my heart could pack it in, fed up with the toffee apples upon which I have recently feasted, courtesy of Bonfire Night leftovers.
A new study has shown that eating just one dose of junk food can shrink the arteries by 24%. "We would all be better off if we dumped the junk," said Natasha Stewart of the British Heart Foundation.
On the other hand, it was junk what won the Olympics for London. According to Lord Coe, a stand-up row between Cherie Blair and Jacques Chirac over the low standard of British food saw the former French President admit defeat on the Paris bid, London get the Games and McDonalds and CocaCola step up as main sponsors.
Sounds like a modern pay-off dilemma between healthy eating and healthy sports promotion, but food and death have been intertwined since Home Erectus bagged his first antelope and once you add sex to the mix, it's a recipe for all human history, encapsulated by the phrase "Love Bites", also the title of a new comedy-horror set in an English seaside town. "Everyone is dying to get laid," is one of the taglines. Let's hope everyone loves the smell of toffee apples.