I've held a grudge against living statues ever since one Covent Garden-based specimen made my daughter cry, so I couldn't help smile at the headline this week that read, 'Living statues come to blows over prized spot by London Eye'(More).
I pictured a few comedy slaps and clownish fallings over - something like David Cameron v. Nick Clegg maybe - but it turns out this was a serious assault in which one of the protagonists used a breeze block to batter his rival to within an inch of his life.
The Silver Wizard reports that he has "been crying all the time" since the Invisible King's attack, which made me feel bad enough about that old grudge that I withheld my daughter's pocket money in penance.
Happily, the Invisible King reigns now in prison and the Silver Wizard is back on the South Bank casting spells, but is "very anxious and afraid every time someone approaches". Just how Clegg feels when a student heads his way, but he can't make tuition fees disappear.