Boiler blown up? Radiators on strike? No cash for the meter? Brrr. I can't help with the plumbing or the gas bills, but I can provide a warming image to help get us through the winter freeze.
Picture the deck of a beautiful boat and you lying back in the sun... nah, it doesn't work does it? What we need is fuel for the imagination and here it comes in the shape of the London International Boat Show, which opens at the ExCel this weekend.
They say well over 130,000 people will turn up in Docklands for the boat show and not many of them will be able to splash out on a gold-trimmed 70-ft-er. Even Roman Abramovich is flogging one of his sumptuous vessels, according to credit crunch news reports this week.
But that's not the point. Something about boats and water makes everyone smile, possibly including Abramovich, especially as there's a bar and they put on a load of boat-fun activities and when you go home you can boil the kettle, fill up the bath and play battleships with the soap. That's why they call it Ahoy!