KUNG FU PANDA 2. Photo credit: Courtesy of DreamWorks Animation. Copyright:  KUNG FU PANDA 2 ™ & © 2010 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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KUNG FU PANDA 2. Photo credit: Courtesy of DreamWorks Animation. Copyright:  KUNG FU PANDA 2 ™ & © 2010 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved.  
Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG)
Prepare for the return of awesomeness in Jennifer Yuh Nelson's energetic martial arts comedy which kicks computer-animated butt and comes close to matching the rumbustious fun of the 2008 original...
3D | IMAX | Read Review | Showing at these Cinemas | Watch Trailer

London BIG Theatre Sales. Tickets from only £10.99. Picture: Jersey Boys  
London BIG Theatre Sales
Our mad Theatre Sale is underway with theatre tickets from just £10.99 ( for The 39 Steps). Highlights include Romeo & Juliet (was £48.00, now £29.50), Ghost Stories (was £42.50, now £21.50) and Pygmalion (was £49.50, now £39.99)...

Top Attractions Sellers (26/05/11 - 08/06/11):
1. The London Eye, 2. London River Cruises, 3. Buckingham Palace, 4. Discount Combo-The Original Tour, EDF London Eye and Madame Tussauds, 5. The Original Tour

Diary: Human Centipede was stitched up by censors

Human Centipede 2 sounds disgusting, but how much more disgusting is it than Human Centipede 1, which also featured a man who likes to stitch people together, mouth to rear-end? Why was one banned and the other screened regularly on the telly?

To be fair, in the first film the centipede consists of only three people, whereas the second has a 12-person human-insect. The censors are yet to reveal at which point they said, "Enough!", so let's take the mid-point, which is seven and a half.

That's 1,319,175,333 (and a half) fewer than the number of people under threat of mass extermination in the other sequel in the news, Kung Fu Panda 2, whose baddie plans to wipe out the whole Chinese population. Not only that, but he walks around the entire film half-naked as does the hero. Scandalous.

The lesson for Human Centipede director Tom Six could be to switch to cartoons. Horror films are half-way there already, which is why the South Park/Human CentiPad micky-take worked so well and why those extraordinarily gruesome Simpsons Halloween episodes hit the damned spot.

But really, it's a lesson that should be learned by the censors. Once you start down the road of banning things because they are disgusting, one day fat martial arts bears could be next, especially as some viewers might find the schmaltz more sick-inducing than any weird horror moment. As Six says, "It is all fictional. Not real." Now where's my needle and thread...

- David Clee


See below for what's currently happening in and around London:
Cinema | Classical | Comedy | Music | Theatre

- Cinema

KUNG FU PANDA 2. Photo credit: Courtesy of DreamWorks Animation. Copyright:  KUNG FU PANDA 2 ™ & © 2010 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved.  
Blockbuster of the Week: Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG)
Starring: Jack Black, ucy Liu, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Gary Oldman
Overweight panda Po is living his dream as an all-action bear, honing his skills under the watchful eye of his mentor, Shifu...
3D | IMAX | Read Review | Showing at these Cinemas | Watch Trailer
Mother's Day. Optimum Releasing  
Horror Movie of the Week: Mother's Day (18)
Starring: Frank Grillo, Warren Kole, Patrick John Flueger, Rebecca De Mornay
Ike Koffin and his brothers Addley and Johnny bungle a bank heist and head for their childhood home...
Read Review | Showing at these Cinemas | Watch Trailer
Maria (KATERINA GRAHAM) in Honey 2. Photographer: Tony Rivetti, Jr. Copyright: © 2011 Universal Pictures. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  
Drama of the Week: Honey 2 (PG)
Starring: Melissa Molinaro, Audrina Patridge, Mario Lopez, Christopher 'War' Martinez
Released from Brooklyn Juvenile Detention Centre, Maria Ramirez drifts back towards bad boy Luis...
Read Review | Showing at these Cinemas | Watch Trailer

See Also:
A-Z of London Cinemas, A-Z of London Films, A-Z of UK Cinemas, A-Z of UK Films, Top 10 Movies, New Films This Week, Forthcoming Releases, Interviews

Listings Menus:
Movies by Genres, 3 D Movies, Over 18s Screenings, Parents and Baby Screenings, Subtitled Movies

- Classical and Dance

Placido Domingo and Angela Gheorghiu, The O2 Arena. Information and tickets.  
Placido Domingo and Angela Gheorghiu - The O2 Arena
Two of the opera world's most celebrated names will appear in concert together for the first time in the UK...
Info and Tickets | More Classical, Opera and Dance Tickets

Top Classical and Dance Sellers (26/05/11 - 08/06/11):
1. Anna Karenina, 2. Romeo and Juliet - O2 Arena, 3. Merchants of Bollywood, 4. Swan Lake, 5. Don Quixote

- Comedy

Jason Manford at The O2 Arena, London information and tickets.  
Jason Manford - The O2 Arena
The Manchester comedian has become one of the most popular funnymen in this country after a series of hit appearances on television including a storming success appearance Live At The Apollo.
Info and Tickets | More Comedy Tickets | Pre-order Jason Manford: Live 2011 on DVD

Top Comedy Sellers (26/05/11 - 08/06/11):
1. Michael McIntyre, 2. Al Murray the Pub Landlord, 3. Peter Kay, 4. Russell Howard, 5. Greg Davies

- Music

Britney Spears at The O2 Arena, London. Information and tickets.  
Britney Spears - The O2 Arena
Pop music trendsetter Britney Spears, who has continually captivated crowds around the world with her live music events, confirmed the UK leg of her Femme Fatale World Tour...
Info and Tickets | More Music Tickets

Top Music Sellers (26/05/11 - 08/06/11):
1. Arcade Fire, 2. JLS, 3. Take That, 4. Katy Perry, 5. Foo Fighters

- Theatre

Betrayal, Comedy Theatre. Information and tickets.  
Betrayal - Comedy Theatre
Sometimes you'll find there can be three people in a marriage. Over a period of nine years, we are shown the high price of passion and the damage inflicted by desire...
Info and Tickets | More Musical Tickets | More Play Tickets

Top Theatre Sellers (26/05/11 - 08/06/11):
1. Phantom of the Opera, 2. Wicked, 3. Billy Elliot, 4. Thriller - Live, 5. Chicago


Case Histories Competition  
Case Histories
Based on the best-selling novels by Kate Atkinson, the series combines classic mystery and suspense, set amidst the impressive backdrop of Edinburgh.
Prize: Win one of five copies of Case Histories on DVD.
Click here for your chance to win | More competitions

London Accommodation

The Stafford, Mayfair, London. 5 Star Hotel  
The Stafford - Mayfair (5*)
The Stafford Hotel has an air of timelessness, the feel of a luxury country house with a central London location. Tucked behind Green Park in genteel St James's, here is a haven of calm which seems a million miles from the bustle of the city...
Check Availability And Book Online

Tophams Hotel, Belgravia, London (4*).  
Tophams Hotel - Belgravia (4*)
A luxury boutique hotel in the heart of the exclusive Belgravia area in central London. A truly peaceful and quiet area. The bar, restaurant, lobby and bedrooms have all been uniquely designed with the help of a top London design team....
Check Availability And Book Online

Dylan Paddington, Paddington (3* Studio)  
Dylan Paddington - Paddington (3* Studio)
If you would prefer the freedom of your own apartment Dylan Paddington is ideal. This family run establishment has 22 single, double, or triple apartments. Dylan Paddington will feel like a home from home...
Check Availability And Book Online

Lord Kensington Hotel - Earls Court (3 Star Bed & Breakfast)  
Lord Kensington Hotel - Earls Court (3 Star Bed & Breakfast)
You should stay at Lord Kensington Hotel in Earls Court if you want to be close to the Earls Court Exhibition Centre or attractions like the Natural History Museum and the chic shops of South Kensington...
Check Availability And Book Online

Top Hotel Sellers (26/05/11 - 08/06/11):
1. Hammersmith Rooms - Hammersmith (Quality Rooms), 2. European Hotel - Kings Cross (2 Star Bed and Breakfast), 3. Belgrove Hotel - Kings Cross (2 Star B&B), 4. Hyde Park Towers - Bayswater (3 Star Hotel), 5. Earls Court Studios - Earls Court (3 Star Studios)

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