Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park, London. Information and Tickets. Photo Credit: Francis Mayne. C.C.License

What's Up

Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park, London. Information and Tickets. Photo Credit: tnarik. C.C.License

Winter Wonderland at Hyde Park, London
Hyde Park Winter Wonderland, London's largest and most dazzling winter event returns to the heart of the Capital for six whole weeks of festive fun...
Buy Tickets for the Ice Rink | More Info

London Comedy Tickets. Photo Credit: Bob Owen. C.C.License

London Comedy Tickets
We like a good laugh as much as the next person, which means we're constantly looking for the best that London comedy clubs have to offer...
Buy Tickets | More Info

Spa Day For Two in London. Book Your Spa Experience Here

Spa Day For Two in London (From £19)
Our selection of London spa days for two is sure to hold the ideal spa experience for you, from luxury beauty treatments at health spa resorts to pampering at designer London salons...
Book Now | More Info Latest Video Laughs - Bear v Trampoline

Video Funnies
First up here's some generous candid camera in the shape of the Coca Cola Happiness Machine. All cheered up? Now feel the love with our animal duo; Monkey Kisses Cat and Dancing Otters. Just to show we've not gone soft on you, here's Bear v Trampoline. | BigHappyVideo on Twitter | RSS

Top Attractions Sellers (02/09/10 - 15/09/10):
1. The London Eye, 2. Thames Cruise For 2, 3. London Aquarium, 4. Madame Tussauds, 5. London Dungeon

break line

Diary: Super Sewage Smells Fishy

Let's talk crap. "Currently 39 million tonnes of sewage discharge into the River Thames on average each year," said a spokesperson for Thames Water, which wants to build a £3.9 billion SuperSewer, from Acton to Bermondsey, to sort it out.

The way they talk it's as if we're the modern version of Tudor types who bucketed their daily mess out the upstairs window onto hapless, hopefully not hatless, passers-by. All that sewage sounds bad, but the Thames is cleaner now than it has been for centuries. Who does the sewage actually harm?

"[It] causes significant environmental damage, killing fish, polluting the river for those who wish to use and enjoy it," explained the TW spokesperson.

So, little fishies and rowers.

£3.9 billion would get you half a dozen new super-hospitals, more than a hundred new schools, thousands of new houses or the big toe of one Premiership footballer. In fact, according to the internet, you could buy 150 million stomach pumps for the polluted rowers, 10 billion trout to replace the dead ones, or even 300 million little trout stomach pumps.

Something smells fishy about this project and I think I've found the answer. One of the main tunnel sites is to be at Nine Elms, the same area as the new US Embassy. Both tunnel and Embassy are due to open around the same time. In other words, they've found a way to deal with those Guantanamo bay inmates. No shit.

- David Clee

break line


See below for what's currently happening in and around London:
Cinema | Classical | Comedy | Music | Theatre

- Cinema

Mark Wahlberg in Columbia Pictures comedy The Other Guys. Sony Pictures ReleasingBlockbuster of the Week: The Other Guys (12A)
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Will Ferrell, Steve Coogan, Michael Keaton
Detectives PK Highsmith and Christopher Danson are the golden boys of the NYPD...
Showing At These Cinemas | Watch Trailer

Jennifer Lawrence as Ree Dolly in Winter's Bone. Artificial Eye Film Co Ltd UKCritics' Choice of the Week: Winter's Bone (15)
Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Garret Dillahunt, Kevin Breznahan
Teenager Ree has been left in charge of her younger brother and sister...
Showing At These Cinemas | Watch Trailer

Augustus Prew (Teen Kevin) in The Kid. Revolver EntertainmentDrama of the Week: The Kid (15)
Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Rupert Friend, Augustus Prew
Kevin is a punch bag for his volatile mother Gloria and father Dennis until social services finally intervene...
Showing At These Cinemas | Watch Trailer

See Also:
A-Z of London Cinemas, A-Z of London Films, A-Z of UK Cinemas, A-Z of UK Films, Cinema News, Top 10 Movies, New Films This Week, Forthcoming Releases, Interviews

- Classical and Dance

Bale De Rua - Peacock TheatreBale De Rua - Peacock Theatre
A high energy mix of hip hop, African dance, samba and capoeira. Hit Brazilian dance show Bale de Rua makes its debut at the Peacock Theatre after a triumphant international tour...
Buy Tickets | More Info

Top Classical and Dance Sellers (02/09/10 - 15/09/10):
1. Cinderella, 2. Romeo et Juliette, 3. Hansel und Gretel, 4. Rigoletto, 5. Mixed Programme - La Valse

- Comedy

Russell Brand - Hackney Empire, London. Information and tickets. Photo Credit: Free-ers. C.C.LicenseRussell Brand - Hackney Empire
Best known for his amorous adventures, award-show cheekiness and backcombed hair (all possibly connected), Russell Brand is also an engaging and hilarious stand-up comedian...
Buy Tickets | More Comedy Tickets

Top Comedy Sellers (02/09/10 - 15/09/10):
1. Dara O Briain, 2. Lee Nelson, 3. Jason Manford, 5. Stephen Fry, 5. Russell Brand

- Music

Seth Lakeman - O2 Shepherds Bush Empire, London. Information and Tickets.Seth Lakeman - O2 Shepherds Bush Empire
Following the release of his critically acclaimed fourth album Hearts & Minds, Seth Lakeman is set to release new single Stepping Over You on 10th October...
More Info | More Music Tickets

Top Music Sellers (02/09/10 - 15/09/10):
1. The Pogues, 2. I Blame Coco, 3. Mary J. Blige, 4. Marina & The Diamonds, 5. Jonathan Richman

- Theatre

Love Story - The Duchess Theatre

Love Story - The Duchess Theatre
Michael Ball makes his West End debut as a producer after falling in love with the enchanting new British musical, Love Story...
Buy Tickets | More Musical Tickets | More Play Tickets

Top Theatre Sellers (02/09/10 - 15/09/10):
1. Thriller - Live, 2. Disney's The Lion King, 3. Les Miserables, 4. Mamma Mia!, 5. Billy Elliot

break line


Ski and Snowboard Show Competition

Ski and Snowboard Show
Win one of ten family passes to the Ski and Snowboard Show - 20th - 24th October, London Olympia...
Click here for your chance to win | More competitions

break line

London Accommodation

Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park - Knightsbridge (5*)

Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park - Knightsbridge (5*)
Rich in splendour and boasting an elegant grandeur the Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park, London is enviously located in fashionable Knightsbridge...
Check Availability And Book Online

London Bridge Hotel - London Bridge / City (4*)

London Bridge Hotel - London Bridge / City (4*)
London Bridge Hotel offers guests the perfect balance between traditional comfort and the latest facilities. The hotel is situated a short walk from many attractions...
Check Availability And Book Online

Melville Hotel - Kings Cross (2* Hotel)

Melville Hotel - Kings Cross (2* Hotel)
Melville Hotel sits in a prime location in Central London, close to excellent transport links and a number of tourist attractions...
Check Availability And Book Online

All Star Hostel - Kilburn (Hostel)

All Star Hostel - Kilburn (Hostel)
Located in Northwest London areas such as Willesden Green and Queens Park, All Star Hostel London provides very affordable accommodation so book now for your backpacking stay in London...
Check Availability And Book Online

Top Hotels Sellers (02/09/10 - 15/09/10):
1. Dylan Paddington - Paddington (3 Star Studios), 2. Shaftesbury Premier London Notting Hill - Bayswater (4 Star Hotel), 3. Barkston Rooms - Earls Court (Budget Rooms), 4. Queens Hotel London - Crystal Palace (2 Star Hotel), 5. Piccolino Hotel - Paddington (3 Star B&B)

break line

That's All Folks

Copyright 1996-2010. AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter is published by LondonNet Limited. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole, or in part, without the express written consent of the publisher. Registered Address: LondonNet, Hoppingwood Farm, Robin Hood Way, London, SW20 0AB.

Directions to unsubscribe from the LondonNet AHOY Newsletter are at the bottom of this email.