LondonNet Homepage
29 March 2001
Issue 75
AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...

Click here for Online Version of AHOY!


- London for Free
- Foot & Mouth
- My Fair Lady tickets
- Plague on Conspiracy

- Hotels
- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- Cinema
- London Tips
- Latest news from London
- "Must-see" pages on LondonNet

- Win zoo, club and show tickets
- Readers say their piece
- Help us to help you
- Linking to LondonNet
- Sponsoring AHOY
- Subscribe to AHOY! list
- Unsubscribe from AHOY! list

©Copyright Adonis 1996-2004. LondonNet and AHOY! are published by Adonis, London, UK.
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® All Rights Reserved

WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet…

LONDON for FREE: Zoo, Club and Show Tickets
THIS WEEK we have three ways for you to enjoy London for free. Our furry friends at Regent's Park London Zoo have a pair of family tickets to giveaway for their Eggtastic Easter event. Those generous club folk down at the Voodoo Lounge are offering a re-run of their recent highly popular offer. The deal gives the lucky winner free entry for four people and a hundred pounds to spend on drink. Hic. Plus we have up to a hundred free tickets for this weekend's Vitality Show at the Business Design Centre. Click here for competition details.

A happy pig safely tucked away at London ZooTHE EFFECTS of the Foot and Mouth (Hoof and Mouth to U.S. readers) disease have spread to London. Not the mutant strain itself you understand, but the economic devastation it leaves in its wake.

Hotels, accommodation agencies and visitor attractions are all reporting that bookings are down and cancellations are up.

We can fully understand that many of you are concerned about travelling to the U.K. right now. However, in London itself, the only visible sign of the outbreak is the temporary closure of the Royal Parks at Richmond, Hampton and Bushy. They have been shut for several weeks to protect the resident historic deer from infection. Aside from that, travel within London is unrestricted and all attractions remain open.

Those wishing to combine a visit to the capital with an excursion or two out into the country should fare well in the main too. Travel to the most popular ex-London destinations, such as Stratford-upon-Avon, York, Oxford, Bath and Stonehenge is unaffected. The most seriously blighted counties are Cumbria and Devon, both off the usual beaten track for inbound tourists.

I hope this proves as some re-assurance. For more info see the following BBC pages. The first deals with the drop in tourism, the second is an excellent FAQ page on the Foot and Mouth disease. (P.D.Clee, Publisher)

Tourism Hit (BBC News):
Foot and Mouth Factfile (BBC News):

If you would rather not visit London at this time don't forget to check the character-rich range of European hotels on our sister site

LONDON THEATRE: My Fair Lady Tickets
WE HAVE lots of tickets for the hit show My Fair Lady's run at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane (21 July to 3 November 2001). The latest incarnation of My Fair Lady stars Martine McCutcheon has been well received by fans and critics alike.
To book, call us on:
(020) 8949 5363 (from U.K.)
++44 20 8949 5363 (from overseas)
Our ticket office is open 9-5.30 Mon to Fri and 9.30-12.30 Sat
Or visit the Theatre Ticket page:

LONDON DIARY by LondonNet's Editor David Clee:

Plague on Conspiracy

The other day I was approached by a big publisher (a fat-necked fat bloke who prints the thin A4 newsletter of the local Neighbourhood Watch) to write an account of the 2001 foot and mouth outbreak.

Flattered that the many years of research spent on my sofa, with the remote control poised at any minute to switch to the History Channel, had finally paid off, I resisted the temptation to point out that the plague was not yet over and accepted the important assignment immediately.

But it seems that we here at LondonNet have earned a reputation as a repository for conspiracy theories and other garbage following our coverage of the many daft notions flying around in the wake of the death of Princess Diana. All my publisher pal wants is a caustic run through of the lighter side of foot and mouth.

So far, though, we are only at Stage One in the conspiracy theory process, which is unfortunately characterised by notions that sound almost feasible, like the idea that Tory voting farmers have deliberately engineered a crisis to embarrass the Labour government, or that Labour leaning organic farmers shoved dodgy Some pigswill, some pigs won'tpigswill into troughs all over rural Britain in an attempt to discredit the modern agricultural industry.

But conspiracy theorists are a competitive crowd and love nothing better than to ace their rivals, so things will soon get fruitier and we will pass into Stage Two. This is the bit before anyone mentions a breed of aliens with an inexplicable gripe against the UK tourist industry ('Earthling teashops selling tea-towels featuring scenes of local interest - we will destroy.') or God's revenge for Hear-Say getting to number 1. Generally, Stage Two is the I've-got-a-friend-who stage, as in 'I've got a friend who knows this fella who's a relief postman in Cumbria and he says that he saw a farmer fail to wipe his goat's nose when it sneezed. And that was TWO YEARS ago.'

STOP PRESS. Just received a note from a Mr Lay Bore MP. 'I've got a friend,' it says, 'who thinks that everyone should help the countryside by visiting the countryside, while avoiding all the countryside bits of the countryside and who reckons that vaccinating animals would send all the wrong signals except when the vaccination programme starts when it will then send all the right signals, who believes that soldiers are best left to something called logistics except when they are best left to dig mass graves and who claims that holding an election right now would be great, because the last time he looked there were no polling stations in that nice green field up on the hill and sheep don't get the vote anyway, although he would, of course, listen to representations on their behalf.'

Related links:
News Headlines

London Diary Archive

- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- Cinema
- London Tips

HOTEL NEWS by Peter D. Clee

AS I have mentioned before in this column, 2001 is proving a quiet year for London hotels. The economic slowdown in the U.S.A., the high pound against the euro and now Foot and Mouth disease have all had an impact on business and tourist visitors.

Hotels operate in a very competitive market and so when demand drops, prices fall too, usually in the form of special offers.

Typical of this trend is an exceptional deal we have just secured at our longest listed hotel, The Gore, Kensington. Over the years we have had some exceptional discount rates and special promotions at The Gore. And now, until the end of April, they are offering some of their best deals yet.

The Deals:
UKP 105.00 Single Rooms
(standard price UKP 164)
UKP 116.00 Double for single occupancy
(standard price UKP 182)
UKP 131.00 Double
(standard price UKP 205)
Prices shown are inclusive of VAT and per room per night, valid until 30 April 2001
The Gore:

This week's hit-parade of the most popular hotels featured in our secure-booking site:

LondonNet's Top Five Hotels*:
1 (1) The Columbia
2 (2) The Gore
3 (-) Berkshire
4 (-) Lincoln House
5 (3) La Reserve
(*based on bookings between 15-29 March 2001. Previous issue's figures in brackets)

Related links
For the full range of London hotels now on offer please see:
For details of our office hours and contact info see our Helpdesk page at:
For details of over 350 European city hotels available on our sister site see:
TIP: To receive's regular newsletter "Wishes" with details of the latest European hotels added to the site send your email address to:
[email protected]

LONDON MUSIC by Catherine Chambers

16 Horsepower
Camden Dingwalls
Thursday, March 29

INTENSE, darkly captivating and chillingly atmospheric, 16 Horsepower stir up the kind of twisted emotions that you'd associate with Nick Cave's Bad Seeds. Hence it comes as no surprise that they share the same management as the Cavester. But it's in a live setting that 16 Horsepower have the power to truly enthrall and few are left untouched by their electrifying stage presence.

Fronted by multi-instrumentalist/vocalist David Eugene Edwards - he sings, plays guitar, accordion, mandolin and banjo - the Denver three-piece-piece veer between disturbing frenetic outbursts and sparsely constructed soundscapes with the help of a cello, fiddle and upright bass on a path straight to hell.

After being released by major label A&M (the fools!) and inking a deal with indie label Glitterhouse, 16 Horsepower went on to record one of last year's finest LP's in the form of 'Secret South'. Next month they're set to release a live LP 'Hoarse', a collection of recordings from their Denver and Paris gigs, which sees the fire and brimstone rockers pay tribute to their influences with a rousing version of Gun Club's 'Fire Spirit' But the stand-out tracks on here are self-penned, such as the feverish sonic fury of 'For Heavens Sake', while 'South Pennsylvanian Waltz' is 16 Horsepower at their apocalyptic best.

Other picks

Sat March 30, Nebula + Orange Goblin, Underworld
Stoner's Paradise! Beer-bellied rock from Sabbath-y stoners Orange Goblin, while Nebula add a psychedelic twist with Hendrix riffs and scuzzy 70s rock. Expect the drummer to vanish in a midst of dry ice. Oh, and don't be surprised if they set fire to a gong.

Sun April 1, Howe Gelb, Spitz
Expect the unexpected with Howe Gelb, who takes time out from his day job as frontman of alt.rockers Giant Sand, to bring us weird 'n' wonderful sonic delights from his new LP 'Confulence'. Highly recommended.

Tue April 3, The Orb, Astoria
You'll probably remember The Orb otherwise known as Alex Paterson -they made a song about fluffy clouds. Now Paterson returns having sampled Jah Wobble on his new LP,Cydonia, Interesting.

Wed April 4, Oh Susanna, Borderline
US folk singer-songwriter Susie Ungerleider is stirring up a country/bluegrass storm with her debut 'Sleepy Little Sailor'.

Wed April 4, The Living End, Astoria
Aussie punkers whose mighty fine new LP 'Roll On' rocks and rolls like there's no tomorrow. Those American boys Blink 182 might be advised to pay attention.

Fri April 6, Everlast, Astoria
Despite his publicised spat with Eminem perhaps overshadowing his releases, the ex-house of pain frontman's solo LP, 'Whitey Ford Sings The Blues,' is rather excellent and should be enough to send you scampering down to the Astoria after one listen.

Related Links:
Music Tickets:
You can book tickets for many of the top gigs in London through our online ticket shop:
For more live listings see:
For our music guide see:

LONDON THEATRE by Helena 'Spid' Thompson

In the spotlight
Old fashioned and expensive they may be, but theatres haven't forgotten their function as forum for debate. Deborah ('Medea') Warner takes a tip from her Greek heroine with a foreboding prophecy lamenting a future West End of wall-to-wall Bouncers. Mean time Trevor ('My Fair Lady') Nunn suffers slander for his staging of crowd-pleasers, whilst drama queens capital wide make a scene about challenging convention.

Ever willing to take a risk, impresario Thelma Holt has dared to stage the rarely seen Semi-Monde at the Lyric Theatre. Originally censored by the Lord Chamberlaine, Noel Coward's cowardly characters are not as funny as usual but thought-provokingly sad in their shallowness, and this sexually explicit critique of twenties high society is well worth the wait.

For a fraction of the price the Marat/Sade at the King's Cross's Courtyard theatre also offers plenty for the politically minded to ponder. Dan Riste's sexually depraved performance as the sadomasochistic Marquis de Sade in Peter Weiss's class-clashing play within a play definitely warrants the nine pound ticket price. And just around the corner there's the chance to see the German Wedekind's Lulu, another play whose sordid narrative lives up to the seediness of its St Pancras location. The old coach station where the Almeida theatre have decamped during refurbishment make the perfect setting for the warped tale of a beautiful German's fall from social grace into the arms of Jack the Ripper. Again, this is a play whose stubbornly idiosyncratic structure has earned it little stage time in the past.

Equally challenging in form and content are the plays of the late British playwright Sarah Kane, whose critical acclaim in Berlin has culminated in a long overdue staging in the Royal Court's retrospective. The work of the woman who put unnamed characters on the stage and tortured her audience with scenes of rape and abortion kicks off with her controversial debut, Blasted. Like much of the stuff currently on stage, you may not enjoy what you see but you'll find plenty of fuel for an argument.

Up and Coming
Mill On The Floss, The New Ambassadors Theatre, Leicester Square tube

Shared Experience promise to dramatise George Elliot's tempestuous novel.

Japes, Haymarket Theatre Royal, Piccadilly Circus tube

Simon Gray's new play exposes middle-class values and a whole lot of pain.

Theatre Choice
Best Play:
Stones in his Pockets - Hollywood comes to provincial Ireland in this hilarious two-hander from Marie Jones
Best Musical: Cats - Lloyd Webber tames Eliot's feline poems
- For details, tickets and reviews see:

My Fair Lady
We have tickets!

For the show's run at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.

Related Links:
London Theatre Menu
London Theatre Tickets

LONDON CLUBS by Catherine Chambers

Fri 23 March, Milk 'n' 2 Sugars 6th Birthday, The End, 10pm-5am
Six years on and MN2S still keeps 'em coming. Deep House and irresistible funky grooves from the usual residents. Guest DJs this week include Farley Jackmaster Funk and Kenny Charles.

Fri March 23, Curvaceous, Soundshaft, Hungerford Lane, 10pm-5am
Freaky techno house and dirty beats curving to make you groove. Or so they tell us. Residents, Phil Youngman, Craig Jenner and Paul Cook keep the breaks and beats coming.

Sat 24 March, Renaissance, 9th Birthday, The Cross, 10.30pm-6am
Progressive house courtesy of Dave Seaman (Not the goalie!) and Graeme Parks - right until the early hours of the morning. At which point the tube will be running. At least we hope.

Sat March 24, Blow Up featuring Big Boss Man, The Wag Club 10pm-5am
Hammond-led 60s and 70s r'n'b, funk latin soul and pop from this week's live band, Big Boss Man whose debut album, Humanize is out now. The club night is business as usual northern soul, 60s r'n b' pyschedelic madness. Space-age beats. Oh you know.

Sat March 24, Liberte 3rd Birthday, The Oak Bar, Green Lanes, 8.30pm-4am
Ds Asha, Nikki Lucas, Sisa Mo will be playing the finest RnB, Garage, reggae and Party classics on their third anniversary, with plenty of birthday giveaways to celebrate.

Related Links:
Club Menu
Club Tickets - You can now book tickets for many of the top clubs in London through our online ticket shop:
Club Previews

LONDON CINEMA by Catherine Chambers

This Week's Big Releases

Shower *****
Director Zhang Yang
Starring Pu Cun Xin

Quiet tale of every day life in a Beijing bath house is an exquisite delight that deserves to find a mainstream audience... click here for full review

About Adam ****
Director Gerard Stembridge
Starring Kate Hudson

The frothy tradition of Rom Com has been turned on its head in About Adam, a refreshing take on social mores and manners in a Temple Bar-style Dublin of trendy restaurants and cafes... click here for full review

Men of Honour ****
Director Director George Tillmann Jnr.
Starring Robert De Niro, Cuba Gooding Jnr.

In what seems to be De Niro’s three hundredth film this month, Men Of Honour charts the real life story of navy diver Carl Brashear, the first black man ever to undergo the rigours of the US Navy’s diving school... click here for full review

Other new releases this week:

Blow Dry **
Director Paddy Breathnach
Few laughs to be had in hair-dressing competition comedy. (15)

The Monkey's Mask ***
Director Samantha Lang
Kelly McGillis stars as the lesbian teacher of a missing student in slow-moving drama. (18)

2001: A Space Odyssey ****
Director Stanley Kubrick
Re-release with new print for Kubrick's classic. (U)

Uneasy Riders (Nationale 7) ****
Director Jean-Pierre Sinapi
Thought-provoking, touching and funnny movie set in a French home for the diabled. (15)

Related Links:

Cinema Menu
Film Listings - Full London listings with our easy to use guide

LONDON TIPS - Secrets of the City

Welcome to the section where Ahoy! readers submit their top tips for visitors to London and visitors ask for help. To ask a question or submit a tip for your fellow readers send us an email to:
[email protected]

Hello London Tips,

When traveling on Connex trains make sure you by a ticket before traveling. You can no longer purchase tickets on the train of at your destination. No ticket means no tenner.


Wills (Ladbroke Grove, London, UK).

Sounds like you just got done you freeloading punk (Ed).


News from London

News Headlines
Tube Strikers Widen Support
- Drivers back station staff colleagues
Return of the Blues Brothers
- Cult musical back in the West End
Sport News
Eriksson Thumbs Up for Ashley
- Cole's future looks assured, but Powell is not out of it yet
News Talkback


LondonNet Home: The big kahuna
LondonNet News Headlines: Award winning updates from the capital of cool
Guide to London: "The must-see guide for visitors to London" -
Hotel Shop: LondonNet's selection of the best hotels in town
Ticket Shop: Theatre and Music Bookings and Helpdesk
Out on the Town: LondonNet's entertainment listings and features
Hotelgenie: Fine European city hotels


Our furry friends at Regent's Park London Zoo have a pair of family tickets to giveaway for their Eggtastic Easter event.

"This Easter join in the eggcitement at London Zoo by playing the giant egg hunt throughout the school holidays from 7th to 22nd April. To receive your own special prize use the clues to hunt down and search out the giant egg-shapes hidden around the zoo whilst visiting all your favourite animals."

Question: In what year did London Zoo open?
Tip: Take a look at our zoo page:

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do is send an email with the correct answer and the subject header "Easter Zoo Compie" to:
[email protected],
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your address we can't send you the prize!

RULES and INFO: First two correct answers out of the Editor's hat win the prize, details will be sent to the winners. The Editor's decision is final. Closing Date: 5 April 2001.

Those generous club folk down at the Voodoo Lounge are offering a re-run of their recent hghly popular offer. The deal gives the lucky winner free entry for four people and a hundred pounds to spend on drink. Hic.

Question: Name the nearest tube to Voodoo Lounge?
Tip: Take a look at our club venue page (n-z):

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do is send an email with the correct answer and the subject header "Voodootwo Compie" to:
[email protected],
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your address we can't send you the prize!

RULES and INFO: First two correct answers out of the Editor's hat win the prize, details will be sent to the winners. The Editor's decision is final. Closing Date: 5 April 2001.

Vitality COMPIE:
We have up to a hundred free tickets for this weekend's Vitality Show at the Business Design Centre. "For ardent enthusiasts for healthy living, looking good and feeling great, The Vitality Show's upbeat blend of health, beauty, fitness and food will offer a feast of delight to whet the appetite of every 'Vitality' woman!". (Tickets normally cost £12 on the door or £10 if booked in advance.)
First 100 readers to call quoting LondonNet's Offer get the free tickets.
Vitality Ticket Line: 0870 120 0724

Last Issues Competition Winners:

(15 March 2001, Ahoy)
Club Fantastic:
Tara Singh (South Harrow, HA2), Celeste Hawes (London SE17),
Hayley Wood (London SW8), Emma Coyle (SW12), Marion Hofmann (W8), Gráinne Kelly (London SW10)
Voulez Vous:
Julian Page (London, W2), Pete Hamel (London N8), Vik Thapar
(Middx, UB10), Rob Ettridge (London, N15)


AHOY! Readers say their piece: Send mail to [email protected]
Notes: The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness. The following letters have been received direct here at Ahoy! Talkback or on our News Talkback forum. Join the diverse debate by sending us an email or posting a message on the forum:
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of course feedback about the newsletter or website.

Dear LondonNet,

I have to agree with the editorial in the most recent Ahoy....why do hundred, even thousands of healthy animals have to be killed in order to prevent the spread of this disease? There IS vaccination available now that this particular strain has been identified, but it is not ECONOMICALLY VIABLE to do this - tell that to the animals looking down the barrel of the gun....we would lose our Foot and Mouth free status, so could not export animals if we vaccinated, plus it would have to be done very 6 months - more expense!! This disease DOES NOT kill, the meat can be eaten as long as it is cooked (beware of rare steaks!), and the animals recover eventually. Better than being murdered I would think.

Moira Short, A Leicestershire Lady
(but originally from Wales where I expereinced the 1967 outbreak first hand)

Dear Ed.

Thought you'd like this tidbit of info. We are planning another trip to good Old England in April this year, but with all the places we like to visit, (Snowdonia, National Parks, Trust Properties etc.) being closed, we thought we'd postpone the trip awhile. We talked this over with our US Carrier portion of the trip. They agreed that the many inconveniences would seem to indicate that the prudent course would be to go later, say in October, and they would rebook at no charge if we wished.

We then contacted Virgin Atlantic, whose agent scoffed at the idea! Said it was all media hype, and we'd have no trouble at all! Could several thousand dead cattle, sheep and pigs be wrong? Did they go to hog heaven for naught?

He did say that they could change our reservations if we would pay an extra fee though. (Tickets are bought and paid for...)

So are we to suppose that the talk of closing all of those "touristy" places that we love to visit is just "media hype", and that when we arrive, the media panic will have subsided, and all things will be nicely back in place? Or could it be that the Virgin folks just want to milk us for a couple more bucks or so - or on the other hand, the Hell with whether we'll have any kind of holiday at all?

From your opening, I'd guess that you (Mr.ED), think this is an over reaction to a relatively small problem - mostly a gambit to save profits for animal farmers? Just how do you profit from a burned up carcass? Just asking, that's all. See you in April (maybe),
Ted W. in Wisconsin.

Dear LondonNet,

Just a comment on the Eurostar price issue, having just returned from a wonderful trip to London and Paris.

I looked on the net for prices on the Eurostar ( before leaving on my vacation. The prices listed online were about 50% less than those I was quoted at Victoria station. Now this may have been a discount for pre-purchasing, but this seems quite a difference. I asked about a special, which was listed on the web site as being good for several more weeks, and was told it ended in January. I did ask about round-trip tickets, and was told they were "just a little cheaper".

When I pressed, it turned out the round trip ticket was 50 UKP less than the one way ticket, which seems to me to be more than "just a little". So I have a return trip ticket from Paris to London sometime in May (the ticket agent made up a date). Maybe I'll just have to come back for another visit!

Kristl Munson (Mt Pleasant, UT, USA)

REPLY: We have reported on this particular scam on Ahoy! before. When you book with Eurostar it seems you have to possess the mental agility of a chess grandmaster to beat their pricing traps. Buyer beware, or better still fly. (Ed).
Eurostar Campaign Page:

Dear Talkback,

RE: Virtual Tour.

Just wanted to say that this site is informative and concise. I am a teacher of ten year olds and we are currently doing a project on London. The site will be easy for them to gather information from.

Thank You

Bina Thakker

REPLY: Great to hear it comes in handy (Ed).


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