LondonNet Homepage
1 March 2001
Issue 73
AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...


- London for Free
- Move On Up
- Playing Pirates with the Truth

- Hotels
- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- Cinema
- London Tips
- Latest news from London
- "Must-see" pages on LondonNet

- Win one of 10 copies of Eat Static's new CD
- Readers say their piece
- Help us to help you
- Linking to LondonNet
- Sponsoring AHOY
- Subscribe to AHOY! list
- Unsubscribe from AHOY! list

©Copyright Adonis 1996-2004. LondonNet and AHOY! are published by Adonis, London, UK.
© The names, words and styles AHOY!, LondonNet, londonnet, Londonnet, London Net and associated logos are all Copyright Adonis.
® All Rights Reserved

WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet…

LONDON for FREE: In The Nude
THIS WEEK we have 10 copies of techno wizards Eat Static's new CD 'In The Nude' to give away. Click here for competition details.

CATHERINE CHAMBERS has been with us a little over a year and has made a significant contribution to LondonNet. Her reviews and features have proved very popular and behind the scenes she has played a pivotal role in beefing up our listings, notably in the cinema section. Therefore we are pleased to announce that Catherine has been appointed Assistant Editor of LondonNet. Among her new tasks will be editing Ahoy!, which I am handing over to her over the coming few issues. It has been a real pleasure to bring this little ole newsletter to you over the past four and a half years. I will still play an active part in its production and look forward to bringing you my hotel news in each issue.
(Peter.D.Clee, LondonNet's Publisher and outgoing Editor of Ahoy!)

Following Catherine's appointment and our continued commitment to improving the site we now have a vacancy for a part-time Listings Assistant. For more details on this first-step-on-the-ladder position please see our Jobs page:
(David Clee, Editor of LondonNet)

LONDON DIARY by LondonNet's Editor David Clee:

Playing Pirates with the Truth

We ran a story last month about the Peter Pan playground in Kensington Gardens, the one built in honour of Princess Diana. According to our sources, shameless parents were dumping their offspring before sneaking off to nearby Kensington High Street for a spot of shopping, using the fact the playground had a few play leaders as an alibi.

Last week was that parents' hell otherwise known as half term so, grimly determined to join the ranks of the shameless, I dragged my son up to Never Land. But before I could escape into whine-free country, it soon became clear that there were no staff around, not even some sorry teenager on work experience dressed up as Captain Hook. On that score, LondonNet wishes to apologise for failing adequately to check its sources.

It seems we are not alone in our blase treatment of facts. Recent investigations by German TV journalists have revealed that many of the so-called massacres and human rights violations attributed to Serbian forces in Kosovo before the 1999 NATO bombing campaign were crude pieces of trumped up propaganda. One example of official mendacity bears repeating for its sheer gall. German Minister of Defence Rudolph Sharping claimed that Serbian cruelty extended to the preferred method of burning Kosovan houses.

"First, the Serbs place a burning candle in the attic, then they open the gas tap in the cellar," was Sharping's official version of events, conjuring up images of demonic forces taking perverse pleasure from their brutal work. "It doesn't work technically," one of the German journalists pointed out. "Oh?" said Sharping. "Yes," continued the reporter, "you see, gas is heavier than air."

But, to world leaders, hot air is often more valuable, even if it did me no good when I had to explain to social services why I had tied my son to the top of a mast of a fake ship while I left on a real one for a world cruise.

Related links:
News Headlines

London Diary Archive

- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- Cinema
- London Tips

HOTEL NEWS by Peter D. Clee

I RE-VISITED The Gore last week. It is our longest established hotel on the site and as regular readers will be aware, one of my personal favourites.

Situated around the corner from the Royal Albert Hall and Kensington Gardens (the western part of Hyde Park), The Gore is well placed for a central London visit. Nearby Kensington High Street has a wide variety of shops and a short hop on a red double decker bus whisks you down to Knightsbridge where Harrods and boutiques a-plenty await you.

But aside from its location, the Gore's best feature is its antique laden charm. Plus if you want the best modern facilities combined with superb service you won't go far wrong here. The hotel's General Manager, Colin Exton, who also oversees two of our other small hotels; Hazlitt's and The Rookery, is an award winning hotelier. And it shows. Keep up the good work Colin.
We have some excellent rates at the hotel, for more info please see:

This week's hit-parade of the most popular hotels featured in our secure-booking site:

LondonNet's Top Five Hotels*:
1 (1) The Columbia
2 (3) The Gore
3 (-) La Reserve
4 (-) Lincoln House
5 (5) The Halcyon
(*based on bookings between 1-14 February 2000. Previous issue's figures in brackets)

Related links
For the full range of London hotels now on offer please see:
For details of our office hours and contact info see our Helpdesk page at:
For details of over 350 European city hotels available on our sister site see:
TIP: To receive's regular newsletter "Wishes" with details of the latest European hotels added to the site send your email address to:
[email protected]

LONDON MUSIC by Catherine Chambers

Morricone Makes UK Debut
-The man with 400 soundtracks to his name performs two nights at the Barbican

'Once Upon A Time In The West', 'The Good The Bad And The Ugly' and the Oscar-nominated 'The Mission'. You can bet your bottom dollar that if you've heard of those theme tunes, chances are you'll be familiar with their composer, Ennio Morricone. The undisputed genius of film soundtracks is making his first ever UK appearance at the Barbican next weekend March 10-11, as part of the Only Connect season.

Italian born and bred Morricone has scored over 400 soundtracks - a fact that has made him virtually synonymous with the genre. Having worked a diverse range of film-makers including Brian De Palma (The Untouchables) Mike Nichols (Postcards From The Edge) and of course his best-known partnership with Dollars Trilogy director Sergio Leone, Morricone has become a household name. His rich tapestry of sounds are as famous as the scenes for which they were written. The eerie and ominous sounding 'Man With The Harmonica' and the haunting female choral in 'Once Upon A Time In The West', while who could forget the ticking of watches prior to the gun-slinging showdown 'For A Few Dollars More'.

While his western soundtracks shot him to fame, Morricone doesn't want to be pigeonholed as a composer of only Spaghetti Westerns. In a recent interview he said:
"I've scored over 400 films and only 30 are westerns. I'm a specialist in music" Thus his two-night residence at the Barbican will witness Morricone conduct concert works as well as his most famous scores. "With film scores it is really for the film-makers and the audience," he said. "This other music is what the composer feels and it's more personal."

Other picks

Thur Mar 1, My Vitriol, London ULU
Hotly-tipped London indie-rockers conclude their month long UK tour, playing songs from their much-anticipated new LP, Finelines.

Fri Mar 2, Sunna + Miocene, Garage
Bristol based trip-rockers who are signed to Massive Attack's Melankolic label unleash grating grunge-laden rock whilst London's Miocene display a fearsome level of intensity with their in-yer-face metal.

Sat Mar 3, Drugstore, Mean Fiddler
Despite having been around for several years, Drugstore only really got noticed when they hauled in Thom Yorke for the single 'El Presidente', the song that has been used, funnily enough, to promote this gig on local radio stations. But the band are talented enough without the need to resort to big-names, no less in their haunting vocalist Isabel Monteiro. New album 'Songs From The Jet Set' is out now.

Sun Mar 4, Travis Cut, Goldsmiths Tavern
The UK's answer to So-Cal punk return, Chris and chums playing their pop-punk gems to a devout crowd.

Related Links:

Music Tickets: You can book tickets for many of the top gigs in London through our online ticket shop:
For more live listings see:
For our music guide see:

LONDON THEATRE by Helena 'Spid' Thompson

In the spotlight

IF ART forms were suitors, theatre would be a steady, traditional sort of guy. Valentine's Day has been and gone but instead of messing around with ephemeral pop songs, the good old theme of love is staying true to the stage.

The Lyric Hammersmith embraces the current fetish for Bollywood with an East-meets-West adaptation of an Indian blockbusting romance. 14 Songs, 2 Weddings and a Funeral is a feisty little number that tells of a girl's narrow escape from marriage into the arms of her heart's desire.

The Peacock theatre offers even more to sing and dance about, with Pura Pasion celebrating just that - pure passion. And if you like your relationships a bit grittier, Notre Dame de Paris at the Dominion Theatre tells a dramatic tale of doomed dreams, focussing on the poor hunchback's unrequited feelings for the lovely Esmerelda.

Of course modern playwrights have a taste for love too. Conor McPherson's Port Authority at the New Ambassadors turns speech into poetry with a collection of bittersweet characters whose keenness to care and be cared for redeems them from the squalor of their broken lives. On a cheekier note, Moira Buffini's Loveplay at the RSC explores sexual encounters taking place over two hundred years in the same place. What ever you go for you'll leave the theatre with a warm fuzzy feeling.

Up and Coming
Pura Pasion, Peacock Theatre, Holborn tube
Fifteen dancers create a Flamenco frenzy.

Semi-Monde, Lyric Theatre, Piccadilly Circus tube
Noel Coward exposes the partner swapping antics of 1920s sophisticates.

Far Away, Albery Theatre, Leicester Sq tube

Caryl Churchill stuns again with a harrowing vision of the future.

Theatre Choice
Best Play:
Stones in his Pockets - Hollywood comes to provincial Ireland in this hilarious two-hander from Marie Jones
Best Musical: Cats - Lloyd Webber tames Eliot's feline poems
- For details, tickets and reviews see:

Related Links:
London Theatre Menu
London Theatre Tickets

LONDON CLUBS by Catherine Chambers

Fri March 2, Haywire Sessions, 93 Ft East E2 9pm-3am
Remixer of Primal Scream and DJ extraordinaire Andrew Weatherall has a new fortnightly residence at the Haywire Sessions. Formerly at Turnmills, the Sessions have now relocated to 93 Feet East in trendy Shoreditch. With Weatherall behind the decks expect some throbbing techno.

Sat March 3, London Calling, Turnmills EC1, 10pm-5am
Danny Rampling is joined by Angel Moraes, Claudio Di Rocca, Miss Jools for some cutting edge house. For those who know their stuff as the casual house/dance music fan might be feeling a bit out in the ocean.

Sat March 3, Passenger, Form W1, 9pm-3am
Steve Blonde teams up with Ali B for some beats, breaks and an appetising selection of funky flavas thrown in. It's only a fiver as well.

Sat March 3, Toony Loons Mad Ball, The Dome N19
Mainstream indie-rock on the main dance floor (think Placebo, Manics, Offspring) while those who have metallic urges best head downstairs for some hard and heavy riff-tastic rock the likes of Fear Factory (new album in April!) and Machine Head.

Related Links:

Club Menu
Club Tickets - You can now book tickets for many of the top clubs in London through our online ticket shop:
Club Previews

LONDON CINEMA by Catherine Chambers

This Week's Big Releases

Proof of Life **
Director Taylor Hackford
Starring Russell Crowe, Meg Ryan, David Morse (15)

Fresh from his gladiatorial success Crowe headlines this tale of South American drug lords, kidnapping and falling in love with Meg Ryan.... click here for full review

Other new releases this week:

Chocolat ***
Director Lasse Hallstrom
Julitte Binoche convinces a sleepy village to let her sell chocolate. (12)

The Gift ***
Director San Raimi
Cate Blanchett can see a bad future for Hilary Swank, Keanu Reeves and others in average horror. (15)

The Tao of Steve ***
Director Jennifer Goodman
Bulky fella gets off with girls by adopting Steve McQueen persona until he meetsone he really wants. Better than it sounds. (15)

Truffaut Tribute ****
Francois Truffaut
The 400 Blows (PG), Shoot the Pianist (15), Jules and Jim (PG) and The Last Metro (PG) comprise the quartet at the Curzon Soho. The second, with Charles Aznavour in brilliant melancholic form, is the best; the fourth is the worst.

Related Links:

Cinema Menu
Film Listings - Full London listings with our easy to use guide

LONDON TIPS - Secrets of the City

Welcome to the section where Ahoy! readers submit their top tips for visitors to London and visitors ask for help. To ask a question or submit a tip for your fellow readers send us an email to:
[email protected]

Hello London Tips,

Go to Public Life near Spitalfields Market. It is a great club, with cheap drinks and best of all it is in a converted toilet.

Carry on at your convenience.


Helen (Hoxton, London).


News from London

News Headlines
Population Power Surge for Britain
- UN projections point to more weight for UK in EC
All You Need is Pop Nostalgia
- The Queen's theatre programmes Beatles tribute
Sport News
Bayern 'Hope' to Sign Campbell
- 'I know nothing', says Tottenham defender
News Talkback


LondonNet Home: The big kahuna
LondonNet News Headlines: Award winning updates from the capital of cool
Guide to London: "The must-see guide for visitors to London" -
Hotel Shop: LondonNet's selection of the best hotels in town
Ticket Shop: Theatre and Music Bookings and Helpdesk
Out on the Town: LondonNet's entertainment listings and features
Hotelgenie: Fine European city hotels


THIS WEEK we have 10 copies of techno wizards Eat Static's new CD 'In The Nude' to give away.

Question: What is the name of former Cocteau Twin Simon Raymonde,s new record label?
Tip: Take a look at our Music page:

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do is send an email with the correct answer and the subject header "In The Nude Compie" to:
[email protected],
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your address we can't send you the prize!

RULES and INFO: First four correct answers out of the Editor's hat win the prize, details will be sent to the winners. The Editor's decision is final. Closing Date: 10 March 2001.

Last Issues Competition Winners:

(15 February 2000, Ahoy)
Home Tickets
Caragh McFarlane (London SW9), Jessica Seymour (London SW5)
Oliver Basciano (Herts Al3), Sarndip Sangha (London SE4)


AHOY! Readers say their piece: Send mail to [email protected]
Notes: The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness. The following letters have been received direct here at Ahoy! Talkback or on our News Talkback forum. Join the diverse debate by sending us an email or posting a message on the forum:
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of course feedback about the newsletter or website.

Dear [email protected],

Good Evening Helenka...I hope this note finds you well and having a wonderful day.

I went on line and ordered the tickets a few minutes ago. I don't know if you will see the order or not but I hope I did it right. I guess time will tell.

I want to thank you so much for all your help. You are a wonderful person and I will direct anyone I know to go through you or when they are heading for London.

Take care and thanks again.


REPLY: Thanks Paula. (Helenka).
Theatre Tickets:

Dear Talkback,

When it came to light that Princess Di was having an affair with a detective, he was killed (murdered) in a motorcycle accident.
I was told this by a friend of mine who happened to know a detective who`s friend it was

Call me gullible, but you can hear sometimes in voices that one is telling the truth.


REPLY: Did you know that 'Gullible' is not listed in the Oxford English Dictionary? Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself... (Ed).
For more Diana conspiracy rants see:


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Copyright 1996-2004. AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter is published by Adonis. All Rights Reserved.