WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet
AN APOLOGY: Ahoy!
THE last issue of AHOY! went out in a bit of a hurry. This mean't
that I didn't have time to check that all the links worked. Guess
what? Lots of them didn't. Plus the competition
was missing a question! Oops. So a thousand apologies to those
of you who clicked away frantically without success. (P.D.Clee, Publisher)
LONDON for FREE: Happy Home
LEICESTER Square based super-club Home is giving away four pairs
of tickets in this issue's exclusive compie. Click
here for competition details.
LONDON for HALF: Theatre
Two-for-one tickets for LADY SALSA for best seats (tickets priced
20.00-25.00, plus 15% commission) for performances from Monday
to Thursday evenings only until 15 March. "Experience Cuba
and its sumptuous offerings like you've never done."
NB This offer is only available via our Telephone Booking line:
- Call 020 8949 5363 (from UK)
- or ++44 208 949 5363 (international)
London Theatre Tickets Page:
NEW LOOK 2: LondonNet
THE latest two sections of the site to undergo our new-look revamp
are the Clubs and Music guides. Again we
would love your feedback on the changes, so take a look and email
LONDON DIARY by LondonNet's Editor David Clee:
Country Stickers Chase City
BUMPER stickers used to be
dominated by sub-humour nonsense like 'My Other Car's a Porsche'
and self-righteous charity efforts asking you to 'Mind! That
Child May Be Deaf' which I always thought was a bit unfair on
both blind children and deaf adults, who were presumably fair
game for wheel-spinning motorists. 'Yes, I saw the figure on
the pedestrian crossing, officer, but her white stick and bowed
gait convinced me she possessed poor eyesight and was several
decades past childhood and consequently I felt within my road
rights to crunch her bones beneath my wheels while texting my
In recent traffic jams, however, it has been impossible to avoid
stickers proclaiming the values of Liberty, which, on closer
inspection, refer to the jolly old Countryside Alliance. Next
month the Countryside Alliance are expected to bring close to
half a million supporters to central London to defend their liberty
to dismember foxes, despite the fact that there is as much chance
of this parliament actually ending blood sports as there is of
the Dome finding a buyer in time for the next millennium.
But while the sticker evidence
suggests some support for our country cousins among urbanites,
if the CA really wants to convert the rest of us townies, it'll
have to do better than trot out the old liberty line. That only
confuses us, making us think that in the forgotten fields of
olde England, shepherds and milkmaids have won the civil right
to ingest the drug of their fancy, whatever colour or creed they
No, the Countryside Alliance
need new slogans for their stickers, ones that both chime nicely
with their political roots in traditional rural England and with
the consumer desires of city folk. To that end, I am willing
to let the CA use 'Serfdom Means Cheaper Au Pairs,' 'Mobile Phones
Work Better in Wide Open Spaces' and 'My Other Three Cars Are
Volvos, But I Still Get to Moan About Petrol Prices' as long
as they let us set up old fashioned tolls on roads leading to
London, all proceeds kindly donated to genetic research on the
perils of in-breeding.
London Diary Archive
HOTEL NEWS by Peter D. Clee
This week's hit-parade of the
most popular hotels featured in our secure-booking site:
LondonNet's Top Five
1 (1) The Columbia
2 (-) Chelsea Lodge
3 (-) The Gore
4 (2) Hazlitt's
5 (3) The Ritz
(*based on bookings between 1-14 February 2000. Previous issue's
figures in brackets)
For the full range of London hotels now on offer please see:
For details of our office hours and contact info see our Helpdesk
For details of over 350 European city hotels available on our
sister site Hotelgenie.com see:
TIP: To receive Hotelgenie.com's regular newsletter
"Wishes" with details of the latest European hotels
added to the site send your email address to:
LONDON MUSIC by Catherine Chambers
Ooh, goody-goody, as Hannibal
'The Cannibal' Lecter who hits our screens this week, would say.
Those madcap East Londoners, King Prawn return to serve up an
irresistible ska-fried dish of infectious punk at Camden Dingwalls
on Mon 19 February.
Quite frankly the barmiest
band to skank their way out of London, KP throw in elements of
dub, reggae, sprinkled with a dash of hardcore. Harbingers of
skank-tastic tunes that display a mixed bag of influences from
the Dead Kennedys, The Clash and Specials, the Prawn are not
to be missed. The fourpiece - vocalist Al Rumjem, guitarist Devil
Hands, beardy bassist Babar Luck and skinsman, Nikolai, will
be mostly playing top tunes from their highly eclectic second
LP, Surrender To The Blender.
Equally as palatable are punk
crew The Toasters who'll be warming up tonight's show in preparation
for the Prawn. A tasty night out, all told.
Tue 20 February, Evan Dando,
What's this? The former Lemonheads singer has come to pay Blighty
a visit? Indeed so, and he's bringing the country-rock vibe that
is so in vogue, plus some ol' 'Heads tunes. "So here's to
you, Mrs Robinson..." etc
Tue 20 February, Janus Stark,
The only reason this lot sparked any attention is because of
Prodigy guitarist Gizz Butt, I hear you cry. Not because they
unleash some damn fine Helmet-influenced punk metal then?
Wed 21 February, Cousteau,
Borders, Oxford St
Scott Walker and Bacharach influenced gothic-tinged poetic gloom
from the London quintet. 'Last Good Day Of The Year' from their
self-titled debut weaves its magic it just three minutes.
Wed 21 February, Frank Black,
Black Francis, he of Pixies fame returns with another solo effort
that apparently tramples over his previous efforts. Melodic quirkiness
coupled with surf guitar - courtesy of fellow Pixie Joey Santiago
- ensures a night of raucous art-rock.
Wed 21 February, Richard
Ashcroft, Brixton Academy
If, like yours truly, you've never really understood what all
the fuss is about with Rich and/or The Verve then chances are
you'll have bypassed his debut album 'Alone With Everybody' for
a much more worthwhile purchase. If not, then it's likely you'll
have snapped up a ticket to this sold out gig and are staring
aghast at what you've just read.
Music Tickets: You can book tickets for many of the
top gigs in London through our online ticket shop:
For more live listings see: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/rockpoptickets.html
For our music guide see: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/index.html
by Helena 'Spid' Thompson
In the spotlight
The end of the mime festival
can be a sad affair as hoards of international companies prepare
to leave. There's comfort to be had this year however as London
theatres let other countries stay in on the act.
Living up to its venue's name,
Lady Salsa decamps from a theatre pub to The Talk of London where
12 high-kicking dancers find the leg room they need to tell the
story of Cuba. Another fringe-to-West-End success story looking
beyond the UK for inspiration is Shockheaded Peter. Heinrich
Hoffman's cautionary tales leap to life at the Piccadilly, where
the spawnings of one inventive German's mind become a junk opera
For those who really want to
be frightened, Riverside studio's moderately priced double bill
offers more than a cheap thrill. Degenerate! celebrates the
work of Krasa and Kafka with two energised performances dedicated
to victims of the Holocaust.
But if it's dialogue you're
after, trust the National to stay closer to home with a version
of Synge's Playboy of the Western world that coaxes poetry and
peasantry from Irish dialect. Or soothe your conscious with a
trip to the Albery theatre February 22, where money raised by
wordsmith Caryl Churchill's Far Away goes to dilapidated Palestinian
theatres. Far away dramas could do with our help.
Up and Coming
Far Away, Albery Theatre,
Leicester Sq tube
Caryl Churchill stuns again with a harrowing vision of the future.
Port Authority, New Ambassadors
Theatre, Leicester Sq tube
Conor McPherson follows the Weir with a look at modern relationships.
Medea, The Queen's
Theatre, Leicester Sq tube
Raw emotions and bloody solutions from the duo who dramatised
Best Play: Stones
in his Pockets - Hollywood
comes to provincial Ireland in this hilarious two-hander from
Best Musical: Cats - Lloyd Webber tames Eliot's feline
- For details, tickets and reviews see: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre.html
London Theatre Menu
London Theatre Tickets
LONDON CLUBS by Catherine Chambers
Fri 16 Feb, Surgery, The
Clinic, W1 10pm-4am
Deep house upstairs with the likes of Chris Simonds from Cross
Section Records behind the decks. Surgery DJ's are on hand to
mix groovy funk and electro below.
Sat 17 Feb, Decadence, Gossips,
The ultimate in glam and 80s rock thrills. If the very mention
of Kiss, Motley Crue and Skid Row sends shivers down the spine,
then this is the place for you. Boasts some of the most impressive,
not to mention brightly coloured hairdos.
Sat17 Feb, Garage City,
Bar Rumba, W1 9pm-6am
DJ's Chrissy T and Rude Boy Rupert, Bobby and Steve spin a mix
of soulful US garage and funky house. With guest Ricky Morrison
from M & S Productions.
Sat17 Feb, Informal, Form,
Greek St, 9pm-3am
Soulful Saturday Social says the press info employing a nice
use of alliteration. Unsung heroes and Mastomic provide the entertainment.
Club Tickets - You can now book tickets for many
of the top clubs in London through our online ticket shop:
LONDON CINEMA by Catherine Chambers
This Week's Big Releases
Director Ridley Scott
Starring Anthony Hopkins, Julianne Moore, Gary Oldman. (18)
TEN YEARS on from the deservedly
Oscar-winning Silence Of The Lambs, Hannibal The Cannibal
Lecter returns to our screens in a film based on Thomas Harris
best-selling novel. But what should have been a thrilling second
course only serves to leave a sour taste in the mouth... click here for full review
The Emperor's New Groove
Director Mark Dindal
Starring David Spade, John Goodman, Eartha Kitt
Its not often that Ive
enjoyed getting up on a Sunday morning with a little suggestion
of a hangover and making my way to deep and darkest Hammersmith
to see a KIDS FILM!. But The Emperors New Groove has changed
my perception of the cartoon genre. In every essence it conforms
to all the cartoon conventions that made Bugs, Daffy and Roadrunner
such a good laugh. Gone are Disney's usual annoyingly cloying
song and dance routines to be replaced with gravity defying slapstick
pratfalls and side splittingly funny one-liners that will appeal
to young and old alike... click
here for full review
Other new releases this
Breakfast at Tiffany's ****
Director Blake Edwards
Audrey Hepburn stars as the sad slapper who conquers society
New York in welcome re-release. (PG)
Digimon - The Movie **
Director Mamoru Hosoda/Minoru Hosada
For slightly older kids than Pokemon, but still an ordeal for
accompanying adults. (PG)
Dungeons and Dragons ***
Director Courtney Solomon
Jeremy Irons hams it up in fantasy-adventure strictly for belief
suspending kids. (12)
State and Main ***
Director David Mamet
Alex Baldwin plays movie star stuck on location in smalltown
USA with less-clued-up-than-they-think pals Sarah Jessica Parker
and Philip Seymour Hoffman. (15)
Film Listings - Full London listings with our easy
to use guide
LONDON TIPS - Secrets of the City
Welcome to the section where
Ahoy! readers submit their top tips for visitors to London and
visitors ask for help. To ask a question or submit a tip for
your fellow readers send us an email to:
Hello London Tips,
I have two tips:
1) If visiting Camden Market always make sure you need to buy
groceries. That way you can park in Camden Town Sainsbury's for
2) If you want to view London's cityscape get down to the south
Bank. The London Eye has re-opened.
Ian (Mornington Crescent, London).
News from London
Minister Sends out Dome S.O.S
- Falconer squirms as Legacy pull out of race for Greenwich site
Pleat: Graham Wouldn't Sign Stars
- Court allegation puts pressure on Tottenham boss
LondonNet Home: The big kahuna
LondonNet News Headlines: Award winning updates from the capital
Guide to London: "The must-see guide for visitors
to London" - msn.co.uk
Hotel Shop: LondonNet's selection of the best
hotels in town
Ticket Shop: Theatre and Music Bookings and Helpdesk
Out on the Town: LondonNet's entertainment listings
Hotelgenie: Fine European city hotels
We have four pairs of tickets to give away for London's mega-club
Home. Two pairs are for a Friday night, two for a Saturday
- please state your preference when you enter.
Question: Name the club night that takes place
each Saturday at Home?
Tip: Take a look at our House Music page:
HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do is send an email
with the correct answer and the subject header "Home Compie"
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address
(which will only be used for this compie-guaranteed). If you
don't include your address we can't send you the prize!
RULES and INFO: First four correct answers out of
the Editor's hat win the prize, details will be sent to the winners.
The Editor's decision is final. Closing Date: 26 February 2000.
Last Issues Competition Winners:
(1 February 2000, Ahoy)
Lovebird Compie: Marcus
Hosken (Berkshire, RG42)
N.B. Due to a daft error by myself, last issue's compie
went out without a question. Yet in the entry details it said
you needed to answer 'the question' correctly. Marcus's answer
was as deep as it was profound: 'The answer is there is no question'.
I am sure you will agree he had to be the winner. (P.D.Clee)
AHOY! Readers say their piece:
Send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org
Notes: The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions
for reasons of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
The following letters have been received direct here at Ahoy!
Talkback or on our News Talkback forum. Join the diverse debate
by sending us an email or posting a message on the forum: http://talkback.londonnet.co.uk/
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit
and of course feedback about the newsletter or website.
My name is Anna and I live
in Stockholm, Sweden. The reason I started to surf this site
is because I am doing a research project on "London Youth
of Today" for my (huge!) research project at my last year
of Gymnasium (equivalent to Sixth Form College). My mother did
her project on "London Youth of Today" in 1969 and
I am comparing 1969 to 2001!
To be able to do the project
I have designed an online questionnaire for boys and girls aged
14-20 living in the London and Home Counties to fill out. It's
for students, non-students, british, non-british, guy, girl;
as long as you live the London area and aged 14-20. I would be
ever so greatful if anyone who thinks that they would be "my
target group" (ha ha) would visit my homepage and spend
five minutes to fill the questionniare out! The address is: http://webdemo1.icl.se/YoungLondonersView/Index.htm
REPLY: If you are aged between
14-20 and live in London we would rerally encourage you to help
Anna. Good news is, Anna has agreed to share the results of her
survey when it is finished. So we will let you know the reults
as soon as we have them. (Ed).
Help us to help you
We love WORD of MOUTH! Please
keep on helping by recommending LondonNet, AHOY! and Hotelgenie.com
to one of your on-line mates every week. Thanks.
* Forward a copy of AHOY! to
a friend *
Linking to LondonNet:
If you have a London related
website - or publish pages that would interest our readers (no
sex sites or get rich quick schemes please) - send us your URL,
page title, plus a short description and we will place a link
on LondonNet. In return we ask you to link to us - if you haven't
already! Please include the URL for the page on your site where
our link appears. Feel free to use our logo that you can copy
from our homepage:
Please also use this address for links to our site. Thanks.
If you need help with the HTML code here is:
A simple text link:
- Virtually, the best guide to London</B>
Or with logo and text:
WIDTH="150" HEIGHT="25" ALIGN="BOTTOM"
NATURALSIZEFLAG="3" BORDER="1" ALT=
"LondonNet"></A><B> Virtually, the best
guide to London</B>
the best guide to London
Just copy and paste the above
HTML into your page's source code!
On-line Hotel Booking - Great value London hotels...
Hotelgenie: Fine European city hotels
London Theatre Tickets: All major shows
Sponsorship of AHOY!
If you want targeted hits for your website, why not sponsor an
issue of AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter. For info mail us at:
For details of cost effective banner advertising on LondonNet
please email: email@example.com
Receive/Subscribe to AHOY!
To receive AHOY! send your email address to:
- To remove yourself from the AHOY mail-list send an email to:
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter is published by Adonis. All Rights