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1 February 2000, Issue 71
AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...


- London for Free
- New Look LondonNet
- No past, no future, no joke

- Hotels
- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- London Tips
- LondonNet recommends
- Latest news from London
- "Must-see" pages on LondonNet

- Win "adopt
- Readers say their piece
- Help us to help you
- Linking to LondonNet
- Sponsoring AHOY
- Subscribe to AHOY! list
- Unsubscribe from AHOY! list

©Copyright Adonis 1996-2004. LondonNet and AHOY! are published by Adonis, London, UK.
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® All Rights Reserved

WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet…

LONDON for FREE: Love Birds Valentine's Special
REGULAR readers of AHOY! will know that we here at LondonNet have a soft spot for the wonderful London Zoo down at Regent's Park. Our furry friends have provided many family tickets for readers in past AHOY! competitions.

To celebrate Valentine's Day (on the 14 Februaury lest you forget), they have come with one of our finest prizes so far. The lucky winner of this week's competition will get to adopt a pair of gorgeous little Love Birds down at the zoo. Could there be a more romantic present for the special person in your life? We think not. Click here for competition details.

NEW LOOK LondonNet
FOLLOWING on from our revamp of this newsletter we have embarked upon a major refurbishment program of the LondonNet website. We will be rolling out the new look one section at a time. First off the starting block are our Theatre and Cinema guides. Again we would love your feedback on the changes, so take a look and email us at:
[email protected]

LONDON DIARY by LondonNet's Editor David Clee:

No past, no future, no joke

The world today: Politics is all about identity. Identity is all about image. Image is all about clothes. Clothes are all about sex.

That was my first attempt to make sense of the apparently bland artistic agenda of Tracey Emin, currently the major public figure of the Brit-Art movement.

Here comes my second go. Emin gave us the tent with the names of all her lovers stitched onto it, the unmade bed complete with bodily fluid stains and used condoms, and this week she has come up with a box full of her own underwear, so maybe her plan is to forefront the melancholia-inducing physical shells that remain after the love, lust and daily help have gone.

I could be right with either guess, but the chances are equally as great that I am hopelessly wrong, trapped in a view of the world that requires intellectual depth from its art. I'm not the only one troubled for a response. Emin's fellow Sensationalist artist Gavin Turk said the other day that he had "no facility to judge good or bad art."

What response brokers at Tullet and Tokyo Liberty were expecting when they told a Jewish colleague to dress up as Hitler is easy to guess - they thought poor Laurent Weinberger should take it as a joke and compared the stunt to forcing a Welshman to don the garb of a sheep.

I'm afraid that Emin's art and the oh-so-funny City boys have a lot in common. The central approach of both is that ideas of the past and ideas of value are to be dumped on a skip marked culture in favour of some immediate emotional reaction, whatever that might be. Treat history like that and history will wreak its revenge, ascribing both Emin, and the little-England beloved of broker-jokers, only the tiniest of footnotes on its pages.

Related links:
News Headlines

London Diary Archive

- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- London Tips

HOTEL NEWS by Peter D. Clee

Valentine's at the Ritz

We have just got our new prices in for The Ritz hotel, London. We could hardly claim that the room rates are a snip, but thanks to our seriously generous discount rates they are now within many more readers' reach. If you have the cash, there could be few nicer places to celebrate Valentine's Day.
The Ritz, Piccadilly

This week's hit-parade of the most popular hotels featured in our secure-booking site:

LondonNet's Top Five Hotels*:
1 (1) The Columbia
2 (-) Hazlitt's
3 (-) The Ritz
4 (-) La Reserve
5 (-) Lincoln House
(*based on bookings between 19-31 January 2000. Previous issue's figures in brackets)

Related links
For the full range of London hotels now on offer please see:
For details of our office hours and contact info see our Helpdesk page at:
For details of over 300 European city hotels available on our sister site see:
TIP: To receive's regular newsletter "Wishes" with details of the latest European hotels added to the site send your email address to:
[email protected]

LONDON MUSIC by Catherine Chambers

Baseball-cap whiney nonsense or Big-barnet led visceral noise? These days it seems rock is split into two camps. On the one hand, there's the ubiquitous Limp Bizkit whose song Rollin' catapulted them straight to number one in the UK singles chart last week. Undoubtedly the Bizkit are the leaders of the current nu-metal movement (in terms of sales at least) where you'll also find Vacaville's Papa Roach and hot nu-kids on the block Linkin Park. It's not about music - it's an industry, a product, and it sells.

On the other side of the fence is another movement, while not making music that is likely to earn megabucks, is stirring up one hell of a noise. In the space of under a year Texas noisiks At The Drive In have gone from playing in the cramped confines of the Monarch to a sell-out gig at the Astoria this Friday, February 2nd. Undoubtedly frontman Cedric Bixler and six-stringer Omar Rodriguez possess the most hair-raising barnets in rock. But, together with band-members - bassist Paul Hindjos, guitarist Jim Ward, Tony Hajjar they're spearheading a new scene of feral punk-inspired noise, the kind of sound that is worthy of the epithets 'gut-wrenching' and 'incendiary', all the while being text-book free; in short the most exciting band to hit Planet Rock in ages.

Driven by a fearsome intensity that has given them a reputation as one of the greatest live bands around today, ATD-I play with a passion. The words radio and friendly do not apply. It's hardcore, it's uncompromising, and it's heading your way.

Other picks

Thur Feb 1, Reef, Kentish Town Forum
Reef were once leaders of the movement known as Brit-rock. Their first album, Replenish was indeed something to jump up and down about, with that sexy and inanely catchy riff of Replenish. It was and still is their greatest moment. Now they're content to the way of simple -but dull- tunes about the weekend, well Saturday if you must be pedantic.

Friday February 2, My Vitriol, Astoria
Prior to embarking on their own headlining tour, London-based rockers My Vitriol take up the prestigious support slot to At The Drive In. Touted for greatness ever since their debut and recently re-released single Always Your Way, the band's eagerly awaited debut album Fine Lines is out in March.

Sunday, February 4, Neil Finn, Palace Theatre
Five years ago, Neil Finn left the homely comforts of Crowded House and decided to go it alone. His second album, One Nil, due to be released in April sees the songwriter on top form and, as ever, ready to give the world some rather sparkling pop gems.

Related Links:

Music Tickets: You can book tickets for many of the top gigs in London through our online ticket shop:
For more live listings see:
For our music guide see:

LONDON THEATRE by Helena 'Spid' Thompson

In the spotlight

In the best tradition of annual resolutions, thesps are busy giving unbreakable habits a facelift. But London drama queens aren't too proud to change their ways, and there are plenty of refreshing looks at old successes on show.
The Royal National Theatre titillates audiences with some dainty little classical revamps. A new version of Ajax follows hot on the heels of Sarah Wood's Antigone as part of their Platform for Performance series - though if you like your Greek Tragedy a bit bloodier, Medea at the Queen's Theatre is the only play sure to satisfy. This modern take on a spurned wife's decision to kill her children will have you wondering whether Euripedes invented feminism.
Mean time the King's Head at lunchtime is the place to see Shakespeare in a new light. Hamlet - An Alternative Ending sets the characters free from the Bard's tragic conclusion and proves you don't need to have survived the sixteenth century to get a grip on iambic pentameter.
The bad boys of contemporary theatre are also up for a revaluation, and score pretty highly. Orton's Entertaining Mr Sloane at the Arts Theatre proves more to our tastes than it did to the homophobic audiences of 1964, whilst Marber's surprisingly funny version of Pinter's The Caretaker has won him the 2001 South Bank Show Award for Outstanding Achievement In The Arts. Whether you're moving with the times or living in the past, catch the show before it closes.

Up and Coming
Berkoff's Women, The New Ambassadors, Leicester Square tube

The Le Coq trained artist's female caricatures steal a show for themselves.

The Importance of Being Earnest, The Savoy Theatre, Charing Cross tube

Oscar Wilde's period piece gets just as many laughs a century on.

Related Links:
London Theatre Menu
London Theatre Tickets

LONDON CLUBS by Catherine Chambers

Fri 2 Feb, Feersum, Crash, Vauxhall, 10pm-6am
A banging mix of hard and uplifting house from the likes of Steve Hill, Matt Clarke, Will Lane.

Sat 3 Feb, Decadence, Gossips, 10pm-4am
The ultimate in glam and 80s rock thrills. If the very mention of Kiss, Motley Crue and Skid Row sends shivers down the spine, then this is the place for you. Boasts some of the most impressive, not to mention brightly coloured hairdos.

Sat 3 Feb, Garage City, Bar Rumba, W1 9pm-6am
DJ's Chrissy T and Rude Boy Rupert, Bobby and Steve spin a mix of soulful US garage and funky house. With guest Ricky Morrison from M & S Productions.

Sat 3 Feb, Informal, Form, Greek St 9pm-3am
Soulful Saturday Social says the press info employing a nice use of alliteration. Unsung heroes and Mastomic provide the entertainment.

Related Links:

Club Menu
Club Tickets - You can now book tickets for many of the top clubs in London through our online ticket shop:

Club Previews

LONDON TIPS - Secrets of the City

Welcome to the section where Ahoy! readers submit their top tips for visitors to London and visitors ask for help. To ask a question or submit a tip for your fellow readers send us an email to:
[email protected]

Hello London Tips,

I would love to know where can I find second hand markets or another kind of cheap markets of furniture, and other different cool items to decorate a flat.

I rent a flat in Maidenhead and it really needs a new look. I would be very grateful if you can help me.


Monica (Berkshire).

REPLY: Portobello Road is the first market to spring to mind for odds and ends. Also check out the regular antique markets in Chelsea and Kensington Town Halls. (Ed).

Hello London Tips,

Many times have I found myself wandering the streets loooking for the Troy Club in SOHO, does anyone know the correct adress?

Patrick Smith

REPLY: No problem , the Troy Club is on Hanway Street. (Ed).

To submit a tip for your fellow readers or to ask our London boffins a question, email:
[email protected]


LondonNet Recommends...

Film of the Week:
What Women Want ***

Director Nancy Meyers
Mel Gibson can hear what women, especially Helen hunt, are thinking in one-trick pony that could've been better. (12)

Best Play:
Stones in his Pockets - Hollywood comes to provincial Ireland in this hilarious two-hander from Marie Jones
Best Musical:
Cats - Lloyd Webber tames Eliot's feline poems
- For details, tickets and reviews see:

News from London

News Headlines
Billy Bags Eleven Bafta Nominations
- Hit British film faces competition from Hollywood hotshots
Triple Blow for RSC
- Britain's leading classical theatre company suffers funding cuts
Sport News
Roma: 'We Won't Sell Cafu'
- Chelsea face fight to lure Brazilian star
News Talkback


LondonNet Home: The big kahuna
LondonNet News Headlines: Award winning updates from the capital of cool
Guide to London: "The must-see guide for visitors to London" -
Hotel Shop: LondonNet's selection of the best hotels in town
Ticket Shop: Theatre and Music Bookings and Helpdesk
Out on the Town: LondonNet's entertainment listings and features
Hotelgenie: Fine European city hotels


To celebrate Valentine's Day (on the 14 Februaury lest you forget), the lucky winner of this week's competition will get to adopt a pair of gorgeous little Love Birds down at the zoo. Could there be a more romantic present for the special person in your life? We think not.

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do is send an email with the subject header "Love Bird Compie" to:
[email protected],
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your address we can't send you the prize!

RULES and INFO: First out of the Editor's hat win a prize, details will be sent to the winners. The Editor's decision is final. Closing Date: 9 February 2000.

Last Issues Competition Winners:

(18 January 2000, Ahoy)

CLUB Compie (Voodoo Lounge): Peter Finch (London W10)


AHOY! Readers say their piece: Send mail to [email protected]
Notes: The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness. The following letters have been received direct here at Ahoy! Talkback or on our News Talkback forum. Join the diverse debate by sending us an email or posting a message on the forum:
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of course feedback about the newsletter or website.

Dear Talkback,

Thanks a lot for the first LondonNet Newsletter you've sent me. I'm really interested in anything going in London - the city I miss. Although I'm in Poland now, I want to be up with all the hot issues and happenings of the city.

Thank You and I'm looking forward to further newsletters.
All the best.

Ania, Poland

REPLY: Our pleasure Anna. (Ed).

Dear Talkback,

As a relatively new member I only received a few of the old newsletters but I love the new one. It's really easy to use and has enough information to help you decide whether you want to go further or not. Fnar, fnar. I'm so impressed I just wanted to ask whether you use specialist software to make HTML emails or just outlook? Don't worry I'm not going to try and sell you anything I just wanted to know so that I can use it myself.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Lisa Bundschu

REPLY: Thanks for the compliment Lisa. We use a combination of an old page creation software called Adobe Pagemill and five years of blood, sweat and tears working with html. Easy really??!!. We would be delighted to help you if you need any more advice. (Ed).


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Copyright 1996-2004. AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter is published by Adonis. All Rights Reserved.