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18 January 2000, Issue 70
AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...


- London for Free
- Our new look
- Papering Over the New Year Cracks

- Hotels
- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- London Tips
- LondonNet recommends
- Latest news from London
- "Must-see" pages on LondonNet

- Win Voodoo Lounge Tickets
- Readers say their piece
- Help us to help you
- Linking to LondonNet
- Sponsoring AHOY
- Subscribe to AHOY! list
- Unsubscribe from AHOY! list
- Old Copies


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REMINDER - How to Use the New Look AHOY!
Jump straight to the section of your choice. For example, if your favourite article is David's London Diary, click the underlined link on the contents section (see left hand column). Each link takes you through to a web based version of AHOY! or direct to pages on LondonNet and other sites.

WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet…

LONDON for FREE: Club 'n' Free Beer tickets
IT'S FREEBIE heaven for one lucky reader and their friends this week. Our prize includes four tickets to the swanky West End Club The Voodoo Lounge and free beer on the night (up to a mindblowing 100 UK Pounds).
Click here for competition details. Hic.

Welcome to the new look AHOY!OUR NEW LOOK: What you Thought
THANKS for all your feedback on the new style AHOY!. The vast majority of those who wrote in liked the new look and found it a lot easier to read and use. A few of you had trouble opening it or reacted badly to the way the images on the newsletter had to be downloaded. If you do not want to download images while reading emails the best bet is to access the online version of AHOY! which can be found at:
Next time you receive AHOY! go the above page and you can read the latest newsletter in a web page format. No messy downloads. Honest!
For a selection of the letters received please see our Talkback section below. Thanks again for all your feedback. Any more comments or problems, mail us. Cheers.

LONDON DIARY by LondonNet's Editor David Clee:

Papering Over the New Year Cracks

OUT with the old and in with the new is a phrase which 2001 has clearly taken to its young heart.

On the 'out' side of the equation we have already seen the end of the Dome, the closure, albeit temporarily, of the London Eye and the death of reactionary wit Auberon Waugh. Not a bad haul in a couple of weeks, but one that is set to be completely overshadowed by the efforts of the 'in' camp.

One invention, dubbed variously 'IT' and 'Ginger', is rumoured to be on the way that will solve all our transport needs for years to come. Apparently the new device is a kind of one-person electronic buggy-thing that will employ vertical take-off as standard, hover effortlessly above the ground and allow users to throw litter on unsuspecting passers-by below. Then there's Datagrid, aka Supernet (it is essential for these ideas to come complete with multiple codenames), a new network that promises much faster communication than the web, so fast in fact, that you might as well not bother learning how to fly a Ginger because everything you want would arrive at your desk before you'd even thought about it.

Both whiz-kid inventions, however, are as nothing compared to the new toilet rolls being developed by bottom experts Kimberley-Clarke. Billed the biggest advancement in toilet paper technology in a century, the revolutionary moistened tissues have been a runaway success in early tests. Although flat-packed wet wipes have been available for years, Kimberley-Clarke are particularly proud of their ability to develop a damp tissue that can be rolled while keeping its moistness intact. Not that KC are averse to traditional methods. Instead, the idea seems to be to wipe your bum with a square or seven of normal dry toilet paper first before continuing the operation with some of the new wet ones. Fine as far as it goes but, you might like to ask Kimberley-Clarke, how do you really know when the job is done. "There's only so much people want to hear about with a product like this," said a shy company spokesperson.

Related links:
News Headlines

London Diary Archive

- Music
- Theatre
- Clubs
- London Tips

HOTEL NEWS by Peter D. Clee

La Reserve Hotel, Chelsea, LondonKooky Chelsea

CHELSEA is the kind of place visitors should really get to know in London. Sure, many of you want to see the Crown Jewels, walk over Tower Bridge and get photo-snappy outside Buckingham Palace. But for the pinnacle of urban chic Chelsea is the place to be. With its boutiques and bars it makes the strongest case for life in the big smoke. Problem is, for the bulk of us born'n'bred Londoners the area's very desirability means house prices are way out of reach. Your average Chelsea resident is more likely to be seen crooning away on MTV than grinding away the 9 to 5.

That's where I start getting jealous of you lucky tourist folk. You see you too can enjoy the Chelsea high life even if just for a weekend. One of our most popular recent additions to the Hotel Shop is the top value La Reserve. Located on one of the key thoroughfares of the area, the Fulham Road, this hotel is within easy striking distance of Chelsea's other posey pearls such as the King's and Old Brompton roads.

Best of all, for stays between now and the end of February we have a very special deal at the hotel. Prices for a double start from just 80 UKP (down from the regular 135 UKP rate). And up to the 31 March, if you stay three nights over the weekend (i.e. Fri, Sat and Sun) the third night is charged at half rate. For those coming to London after these dates we still have some very attractive rates in place. See the La Reserve page in our Hotel Shop for details:
La Reserve

This week's hit-parade of the most popular hotels featured in our secure-booking site:

LondonNet's Top Five Hotels*:
1 (1) The Columbia
2 (-) The Gore
3 (-) La Reserve
4 (-) Lincoln House
5 (-) Chelsea Lodge
(*based on bookings between 4 - 18 January 2000. Previous issue's figures in brackets)

Related links
For the full range of London hotels now on offer please see:
For details of our office hours and contact info see our Helpdesk page at:
For details of over 300 European city hotels available on our sister site see:
TIP: To receive's regular newsletter "Wishes" with details of the latest European hotels added to the site send your email address to:
[email protected]

LONDON MUSIC by Catherine Chambers

Marilyn Manson
Wed 24 January
London Docklands Arena

Controversy is Marilyn Manson's middle name. The self-styled Antichrist Superstar has stirred up more of it in the past two years than the animal rights protection league have in a decade. Manson is still feeling the effects of the Columbine Massacre of April1999, in which a pair of Manson fans shot and killed eleven of their classmates.

Earlier this month the satirical shock-rocker was under fire for again for his new single 'Fight Song', the video of which depicts a battle between Goths and jocks in a stadium ground, which some feel is too close to resembling the murderous events.

Manson's latest LP, Holy Wood (In The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death) released last year, provoked outrage with the cover depicting him in a crucifix pose. Musically, the songs aren't up to scratch, with the first single to be lifted 'Disposable Teens', a virtual re-working of Manson's breakthrough hit, The Beautiful People, on 98's Antichrist Superstar LP. But you can always bank on the world's greatest rock star to come up with the goods live, and these shows, under the banner of 'Guns God And Government' tour, are promised to be his most outrageous yet.

Still, it seems he can't make up his mind whether to trade the goth look in for roadkill as this season's fashion. Wonder what animal rights campaigners make of that.

Other picks

Sat 20 January, Linea 77, Camden Underworld
Nu-metal has found a most unlikely new breeding ground - in Italy. The latest exponents of the genre have just released their debut LP, the tantalisingly titled Ketchup Suicide. But please, can someone put a stop to this nu metal nonsense? Now!

Sat,Sun 20-21 January, The Offspring, Wembley Arena
South Californian punkers who've paid absolutely no notice whatsoever to taunts of sell-out that greeted their multi-million selling Americana LP. The follow up, Conspiracy Of One is even more commercial. But when dollar signs flash by, I don't suppose they care. Though it's a safe bet that, with the exception of the die-hards, original fans have gone to pastures new.

Thur 25 January, Raging Speedhorn, Highbury Garage
Anger and intensity. Corby's Speedhorn are among the most feral noisiks you're most likely to have come across in a long time, bringing new meaning to the epithet 'in your face'. Support comes from rising Brit metallers Miocene.

Mon, Tue 29-30 Papa Roach, London Astoria
MTV faves whose single 'Last Resort' catapulted them into the big league, with their major label debut selling 2 million and counting. Regarded as the nu metal kids on the block, but now the challenge of fellow US metallers Linkin Park looms….

Related Links:

Music Tickets: You can book tickets for many of the top gigs in London through our online ticket shop:
For more live listings see:
For our music guide see:

LONDON THEATRE by Helena 'Spid' Thompson

In the spotlight

Luvvies worried that a futuristic age has ecplipsed theatre can heave a sigh of relief. With memory plays all the rage, this clunky old art form is spear-heading the current trend for nostalgia.

Traditionalists will warm to Eugene O’Neill’s mastery of the form in his Long Day’s Journey into Night at the Lyric Shaftesbury. Film star Jessica Lange relishes the return to her theatrical roots with an unforgettable rendition of the woman whose love for her husband makes a wound of her every painful reminiscence.

But for proof that living in the past doesn’t equal technophobia, Derevo at the Queen Elizabeth Hall make prime picking for the mime connoisseur. Judging by their Edinburgh successes, this cult ensemble’s sensitivity to music, movement and light looks set to create a kaleidoscopic dream world that panders to all the senses.

And if you don’t want to pay the earth for a trip down memory lane, Dylan Thomas’ reminiscences of childhood at the New End Theatre could be just the ticket. Lamenting the premature loss of the Welsh bard, this fusion of prose and poetry spins his imagery into drama.

None of these lyrical pieces flowed from British pens. It seems that far from brooding on how it was, London theatre is recognizing the past as a drama rich with the history of other cultures.

Up and Coming
Japes,Theatre Royal Haymarket, Haymarket tube
Simon Gray’s stirring comedy about fatherhood’s impact on two brothers’
The Rivals, The Barbican Centre, Barbican tube
This sharp little comedy scrutinizes restoration morality with a love
triangle that threatens social conventions

Lady Salsa, Pleasance Theatre, Caledonian Road tube
All-singing all-dancing rendition of Cuba's history, delivered with a
chuckle by none other than the colourful Lady Salsa herself.

Related Links:
London Theatre Menu
London Theatre Tickets

LONDON CLUBS by Catherine Chambers

Thur 18 January, Misdemeanours And AKA, AKA Bar, next to The End, WC1 8pm-1am
Live PA from Juliet Roberts promoting new single from model David Morales and a mix of Danny Rampling, among others.

Fri 19 January, Night People, Bar Rumba W1 9pm-4am
A mixed bag of hip hop, disco, northern soul and garage courtesy of BBE's Ben and Pele, accompanied this week by guest DJ Chrissy T.

Fri 19 January, Chew The Fat, The Bug Bar, SW2 8pm-3am
Fresh from spinning at Home in Oz, Paul Arnold unleashes top quality breakbeats to an up-for-it party crowd.

Sat 19 January, Rulin, Ministry of Sound, SE1 12.00am - 9am
Talented DJ's Julius Pappa and Ayoze Chico run though the motions of deep house, funk 70s rock and jazz. In the bar it's the turn of Stevie Boyd, Nick Bridges and Tee Smith, whilst Gareth Cooke takes on the main room.

Related Links:

Club Menu
Club Tickets - You can now book tickets for many of the top clubs in London through our online ticket shop:

Club Previews

LONDON TIPS - Secrets of the City

Welcome to the section where Ahoy! readers submit their top tips for visitors to London and visitors ask for help. To ask a question or submit a tip for your fellow readers send us an email to:
[email protected]

Dear London Tips,

Save pounds when you travel about London with a Travelcard. They are valid from 09.30 and you can pick the number of zones you need.

Regards Kenneth R. (London NW1, U.K.)

REPLY: Top Tip Ken. Just a little word of explanation to the uninitiated; zones are the areas of London. If all you want to do is buzz around on the tube and buses in the centre choose the cheapest option covering Zone 1. Zones 2 through to 6 respectively represent concentric bands further afield. For example, Leicester Square is in Zone 1, Heathrow Airport is in Zone 6. (Ed).
For more London vistas see:

To submit a tip for your fellow readers or to ask our London boffins a question, email:
[email protected]


LondonNet Recommends...

Film of the Week:
Quills ****
Director Philip Kaufman
Geoffrey Rush steals the show as the Marquis de Sade in lively, humourous tale. (18)
CINEMA Listings
Every Film in Every Cinema in London

Best Play:
Stones in his Pockets - Hollywood comes to provincial Ireland in this hilarious two-hander from Marie Jones
Best Musical:
The Mikado - Gilbert and Sullivan's East-meets-West musical enjoys a lavish makeover
- For details, tickets and reviews see:

News from London

News Headlines
Museum Goes Radioactive
- Suspect rocks break law on emission limits
Life x 3 Times Two
-Art author's latest play transfers to the West End
Sport News
Fulham Chase Koumas
- Palace target eyes new Cottage home


LondonNet Home: The big kahuna
LondonNet News Headlines: Award winning updates from the capital of cool
Guide to London: "The must-see guide for visitors to London" -
Hotel Shop: LondonNet's selection of the best hotels in town
Ticket Shop: Theatre and Music Bookings and Helpdesk
Out on the Town: LondonNet's entertainment listings and features
Hotelgenie: Fine European city hotels


Voodoo Lounge Compie
IT'S FREEBIE heaven for one lucky reader and their friends this week. Our prize includes four tickets to the swanky West End Club The Voodoo Lounge and free beer on the night (up to a mindblowing 100 UK Pounds).

QUESTION: Which Caribbean Island is the home of Voodoo?
TIP: Live and Let Die, Mr Bond.

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do is send an email with the subject header "Voodoo Compie" to:
[email protected], giving the correct answer to the above question.
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your address we can't send you details of the prize!

RULES and INFO: First two correct answers out of the Editor's hat win the prize, details will be sent to the winners. The Editor's decision is final. Closing Date: 25 January 2001.

For more London clubs info see:

Last Issues Competition Winners:
(4 Jan, Ahoy)

ZOO Compie:
Gillian Cox (London SE5), Petrina McFarlane (London SW16)

CLUB Compie (Voulez Vous):
Diana Clarke (London W11), James Nicholls (Twickenham TW2), Daniella
O'Donnell (London N14), Chris Fox (London NW8), Amber Fossey (London NW1)


AHOY! Readers say their piece: Send mail to [email protected]
Notes: The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness. The following letters have been received direct here at Ahoy! Talkback or on our News Talkback forum. Join the diverse debate by sending us an email or posting a message on the forum:
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of course feedback about the newsletter or website.

On the new look Ahoy!

Congratulations with the new look, it's certainly an improvement, not that the old one was bad, but as you said yourself its easier to read, and it's very convenient with the left side listings.
Keep up the good work.
Anders Dalsted, Denmark

The newsletter is a great improvement. Thanks.
Petra Hees, Netherlands

I really enjoy your new look! I live in the midwest USA and have been reading for several months now. Myself and 6 family members visited London for several days last August, as well as NE England and Scotland. I found your site full of information and tips etc. that came in quite useful. I am now planning our second visit and londonnet continues to assist me. I look forward to each issue. Keep up the good work!!!
Karen Risher, USA

Really enjoyed the new lay-out. Much easier to get around it. Thanks. Hope you are all managing to keep warm.
Trish Haydon, New Zealand

It's wonderful! So much easier to read. Thank you.
Elizabeth Richards, USA

Your new HTML version is lovely! Thanks!
William Langley

Dear Talkback,

It looks lovely, but is there also a text version of the newsletter to subscribe to? I don't like it when my computer automatically establishes a connection with the internet just to download some things I didn't ask for.

Please, don't get me wrong: excellent work, but not for me. If you don't send text only news letters anymore, I will have to unsubscribe.

Debby Heymans, Netherlands

REPLY: Sorry to hear about your dilemna. The reason that your computer tries to connect to the internet is because it needs to download the images used in the newsletter. We try to keep these to a minimum. However, if you do not wish to see them you should not allow the computer to connect just to download these images. You can then go ahead and read the newsletter offline. Alternatively, you can view the whole newsletter (images and all) during your next online session by visiting the relevant webpage. (Ed).
Ahoy! Menu:

Dear Talkback,

I agree that Eurostar should target and provide for all grades of travellers.
Colonel Robert J. Dutton

REPLY: We agree Mike. There seem to be so many different ways of charging. As you would expect from those lovely Eurostar fellows, you end up paying the highest. (Ed).

Eurostar Campaign page:


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Click here for TotalTango.comSlow dancing Latin style - sharp as a flick-knife, soft as a caress. Hungry for glamour? Our Tango Teas at the Waldorf are “the time of my life” The Guardian. Looking for Absolute Beginners’ classes?
We have the best.
What is your desire?

Click here to win £500Smarte - solutions for a smarter home
Win 500 UK Pounds:
Register for Smarte for your chance to win one of 500 UKP shopping vouchers
Smarte Info: The Smarte homes portal provides a comprehensive range of products, services and advice for all home related needs.
Click Here to Enter Now!


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