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Meeting the Turks - Get to know the Turks
with free tickets to the RAA exhibit. Details, below...
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2005
London Eye Flights -
No booking fee for all London Eye tickets sold on LondonNet!
Buy Tickets!
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| Taxi for Taxi TV |
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 DRIVERS
of black cabs are to be given training in marriage guidance
counselling. Okay, that's not quite true, but it is the logical
and inevitable next step following the announcement this week
that thousands of London's taxis are to be kitted out with
TVs for the amusement of bored passengers.
The channels on offer will feature news, sport, music and
fashion - a highly combustible combination cleverly designed
to provoke intra-couple rows and quickie divorces.
The scene is set for countless re-runs of The Royle Family
only in highly concentrated form as cab journeys are usually
short, often fuelled by alcohol and there is no escape to
the kitchen, pub or toilet.
For cabbies, the resulting problem is twofold: how to keep
the atmosphere sweet in order to garner a tip at journey's
end and how to mend the TV screen after it has felt the force
of an anger-filled size nine.
Probably the best bet when confronted by likely-looking couples
is to say the TV is broken. That way, cabbies still get the
UKP750 a year fee from TV company Cabvision and couples get
to do what they do best - unite in trivial complaint, thereby
avoiding the divorce courts and ensuring hefty sympathy tips
for luckless cabbies forced to work in intolerable conditions.
David Clee
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| Theatre |
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Vagina
Monologues
Wyndham's
Opens April 7, 2005
Eve Ensler's hit play strings together a series of monologues,
all performed by women, that deal with issues surrounding
the titular organ and, more generally, womanhood. Although
the monologues all ultimately convey a message of empowerment
and liberation, the issues explored are manifold and
complex. Sharon & Aimee Osbourne, Naomi Harris and
Jenny Eclair star in this production. -AB
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Tynan
Arts Theatre, West End
17 February – 26 March
Tynan is an evocative one-man biographical spectacle
starring Colin Redgrave that documents what was the
frequently turbulent life of late theatre critic Kenneth
Tynan, based on his diaries. Tynan was much mythologized
during his lifetime, and Richard Nelson and Colin Chambers’s
script at once maintains the myth and humanises the
man. -AB
SPECIAL TICKET OFFER:
*
£25 tickets reduced to £15
* all performances until 26 March excluding Saturday
evenings
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| Music |
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02 WIRELESS FESTIVAL
Previews by Ashley Brown
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Keane
Wireless Festival, Hyde Park
Wed. 29 June 2005
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The sweeping balladeers, whom have been compared to
fellow purveyors of histrionic pop Coldplay and Soundtrack
of Our Lives, scored a major hit in 2004 with the ubiquitous
“Somewhere Only We Know” and are set to claim
the throne of U.K.’s biggest pop exports with a
new worldwide tour.
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New
Order
Wireless Festival, Hyde Park
Wed. 29 June 2005
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With their characteristic icy, hook-laden synth-pop
that bridged the gap between eighties dance-centric
glam and Joy Division’s industrial murkiness in
the 80s, thinking man’s new-wavers and Factory
Record’s most successful and long-lived outfit,
New Order, are returning for a stint at the Wireless
Festival after a lengthy 90s hiatus.
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Basement
Jaxx
Wireless Festival, Hyde Park
Sat. 25 June 2005
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Simon Ratcliffe and Felix Buton, the much-renowned
and adored purveyors of dirty, pulsating house music
under the Basement Jaxx alias, have been regularly releasing
dance classics for more than a decade on their own label,
Atlantic Jaxx. They’ve also re-mixed rabidly for
some of the biggest names in the genre, including Pet
Shop Boys and Roger Sanchez.
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| Classical |
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Cathcart
Spring Prom
Royal Albert Hall
Thu May 19 2005
Jonathan Scott and the Opera Babes are this year’s
Cathcart Prom stars, along with a new concerto penned
by composer Paul Hart for organ with orchestra. The
Royal Philharmonic will fulfil the latter, creating
the sort of breathtaking grandeur for which the ten-year
running Prom is known.
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| Cinema |
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LondonNet Blockbuster of the Week
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Constantine
(15)
Action (2005) 120mins US
Director: Francis Lawrence
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf,
Djimon Hounsou
John Constantine is the black sheep of the hero world.
After he attempted suicide because of his hated gift
- seeing demons and angels - he's been sent back to
patrol the earth between heaven and hell: Los Angeles.
After a vision connects him with the murder of LA Detective
Angela Dodson's twin sister, he soon finds himself wrapped
inside a great scheme to upset the balance between hell
and heaven, and Constantine must find a way to foil
the plan before creation falls.
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Click
for full review...
Showing
at these cinemas... |
LondonNet Critic's Choice of the Week
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5
X 2: Cinq Fois Deux (Five Times Two) (15)
Drama (2004) 90mins (with subtitles) Fr
Director: Francois Ozon
Starring: Valeria Bruni-Tedeschi, Stephane Freiss, Geraldine
Pailhas
Marion and her husband Gilles reluctantly sign their
divorce papers, drawing a line under their turbulent
marriage. Soon after, they share one final moment in
bed together - a celebratory sexual dalliance to effectively
sever all emotional ties. In reverse chronological order,
we witness the events leading up to the dissolution
of the marriage, including their wedding night and a
dinner party at which tensions begin to surface. Sifting
through the debris and recriminations, Marion and Gilles
search for indications where it all began to go wrong.
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Showing
at these cinemas... |
LondonNet Turkey of the Week
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Darkness
(15)
Horror (2002) 88mins US
Director: Jaume Balaguero
Starring: Anna Paquin, Lena Olin, Iain Glen
American teenager Regina moves to a creepy Spanish villa
with her father Mark, highly strung mother Maria and
young brother Paul, forty years after a lunar eclipse
and a spate of child abductions in the local area. As
a new lunar eclipse looms, a series of supernatural
events threatens the lives of Regina and her loved ones.
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Showing
at these cinemas...
More
new films.... |
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| Comedy |
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The
Comedy Store London's most popular comedy club
has been splitting sides for twenty two years now. The
likes of Paul Merton, Jack Dee and Jo Brand have all
taken to the stage here. Click
here for more info...
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| Clubs |
Clubs
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Purchase club tickets via our online service,
and at most venues you'll be able to jump the
ticket queue. Venues featured include:
- Fabric
- The End
- Borderline
- The Cross |
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| Accomodation Deals |
 Hotels:
La
Reserve - (1 Jan - 31 Mar 2005) Singles UKP59; Double
UKP69; Twin UKP79; Triple UKP89; Superior Double UKP89; Family
UKP120 |
 Bed
and Breakfasts:
Hyde
- Save up to 65% on the hotel's published price when you book
online!
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 Budget:
Lincoln
House - Singles UKP69; Double UKP85; Twin UKP95; Triple
UKP115; Family UKP119
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Flatshares:
Free
updates of available rooms/tenants in your area. |
Three of the Best
|
 The
Ritz*****(Picadilly)
Opened in 1906, The Ritz has traditionally been a place to
stay and meet for famous figures from the world of stage and
screen, and for statesman, aristocrats and Royalty.
Single - UKP220 (Inclusive of VAT)
Superior King - UKP260 (Inclusive of VAT)
Deluxe King - UKP330 (Inclusive of VAT)
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 The
Gore ****(Kensington Gore)
The Gore offers old fashioned comfort with up-to-date facilities
and is justly famous for its mellow surroundings and intelligent,
friendly staff.
Single - UKP136 (Inclusive of VAT)
Double - UKP168.03 (Inclusive of VAT)
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 Strand
Palace Hotel ***(The Strand)
With its superb central location, Strand Palace Hotel is perfect
for those wanting to explore the city. Many of London's famous
landmarks are close by, including Leicester Square, Covent
Garden and Theatreland.
Twin rooms from UKP37; Triple rooms from UKP32
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London
Hotel Chart
Top
Sellers
(4 Mar - 16 Mar 2005)
1) Columbia
2) Commodore
3) Willett
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Featured Worldwide Hotel: |
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 Stanhope
Hotel*****
Rue du Commerce, Brussels
A luxury establishment dripping with late 19th century English
charm, Brussels first 5-star hotel retains its original charm
and standards in the context of up to the minute facilities.
All bedrooms manage to achieve considerable individuality
within the elegant late 19th century remit and all come equipped
with aircon, fax, TVs with in-house movies, mini-bar and trouser
press. There are two levels of suites available to the space-hungry
visitor. The Palais Royal, the Museum of Ancient and Modern
Art and Grand Sablon are all within a minute or two's walk
west of the Stanhope.
Click here for more worldwide
hotels... |
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| Meet the Turks Competition |
Covering the wide span of a thousand years, the Royal Academy
of Art explores the highly spiritual and spirited culture
of the Turks.
The exhibit, heavily sponsored by Turkish petroleum giant
Aygaz, the Turkish Garanti Bank and metal producer Corus,
pulls the exhibit, with many of the works borrowed from the
Topkapi Saray Museum and the Museum of Turkish and Islamic
Art of Istanbul. This is the first ever exhibit to solely
focus on the development of Turkish culture, and a number
of the works have never been exhibited outside of Turkey.
Here's your chance to introduce yourself to the wide-spectrum
of Turkish culture through this highly acclaimed exhibit.
The winner will recieve a pair of tickets to do his or her
own respective soul searching. That is, if they can answer
the following question...
Question: How many works are involved in the exhibit?
(Hint: click
here for more info!)
How to Enter: Send an email with the correct answer
to "TurksCompie@londonnet.co.uk",
with the subject header "Turks Competition".
More Necessary Info: NB Include email, telephone number
and postal address (which will only be used for this compie
- guaranteed). If you don't include your details we can't
send you info about the prize! First correct answers out of
the Editor's hat win the prizes, details will be sent to the
winner. The Editor's decision is final.
Closing Date: 3pm, Monday March 21, 2005.
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Dear LondonNet,
Hi - as a Midlander who visits London, I wondered whether
you could include exibitions in your listings? I know the
Ideal Home Show is currently on in Earl's Court and am coming
to see this next week, but I'm sure I'd come to more if I
knew when they were on. As a visitor, I'd also welcome a section
on markets, when they're open, what they sell etc. Just a
thought! Best wishes, I do enjoy your newsletter! - Sandra
Rutter
Dear Sandra,
We do have information on London's up-and-coming and well-known
markets, including information on all areas of London, in
our Shopping
section. As far as tickets for exhibits, we review and
feature a lot of exhibits - check out the next Ahoy newsletter
for information on the Vitality show! - LondonNet
TALKBACK NOTES
The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions
for reasons of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your
visit and of course feedback about the newsletter or website.
Email: ahoy-talkback@londonnet.co.uk
to submit.
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Queen
Mother Memorial for The Mall