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NEWS >>
New
Style Ahoy!
Sometimes
things need to change -- become neater, calmer, and gently mature
with age. At LondonNet, we are not cheese. We have, however, thrown some
of our creative energies into nurturing Ahoy! into its current blossoming
state. We like things simple and easy for our readers to read, and we
hope that this attempt at transformation is well recieved. Send us your
clever, fiery comments, intriguing questions and heart-felt concerns.
We'd like to hear them: admin@londonnet.co.uk.
Advertising Feedback
We've had
a sack of mail about the recent 'overlay' ads appearing throughout our
entertainment section.
As you acknowledged
in the feedback, we are a commercial site and for us, adverts are the
staple. That said, we live and die on the goodwill of our audience and
we do not intend to flush out the baby with the bathwater.
I agreed
to the campaign to test the reaction to these new style ads as we have
been looking for ways to diversify from using conventional pop up ads,
which also annoy many. While response rates have been very good to the
new format, complaints have been voluble too.
If we are
to run similar ads again we will insist that the volume is lighter and
the frequency lower.
Thanks for
your patience, and as ever, please keep sending the feedback, even if,
as on this occasion, it is negative.
(Peter D.
Clee, Publisher)
LONDON
FOR FREE >>
INSERT
COMPIE DETAILS!!""!!!
ACCOMODATION DEALS >>
Hotels:
The
Gore - Winter Special
(1st Sept - 31st Dec)
Single - 109 UKP Inclusive of vat
Double - 149 UKP Inclusive of vat
Bed
and Breakfasts:
Hyde
- From only UKP17 per person per night!
Budget:
Generator
- From only UKP9 per person per night
Flatshares:
Free
updates of available rooms/tenants in your area
LONDON
ATTRACTIONS >>
For
the latest information and tickets for a wide range of London's premier
attractions see our regularly updated London Attractions page.
On sale Friday 1 October
Somerset House Ice Rink - London
London's most beautiful outdoor ice rink returns for a fifth year. Whether
you're an able skater or an absolute beginner, Somerset House Ice Rink
is London's essential winter experience right in the heart of central
London. Click
here to buy tickets.
Top
Attraction Sellers - (10 August - 1 October 2004)
1) London Eye
2) Madame Tussaud's/Planetarium
3) Summer Opening of the Houses of Parliament Tour
4) Tower of London
5) The London Dungeon
Treat
Smokers Like Cattle
by David Clee
LONDON Mayor
Ken Livingstone has pioneered the use of little personal bins for smokers
known as Stubbies. Unfortunately, smokers at his HQ are not fond of the
things and continue to chuck their cigarette ends on the street. It might
be a slightly dubious premise that what happens at the Mayor's office
today will happen across London tomorrow, but what happens to tomorrow's
fag butts is likely to become a burning issue in the years ahead in any
case.
Not many
offices allow smoking these days, so a culture has emerged of huddled
groups of nicotine fans puffing away outside their places of work. When
they all go back inside, hey presto, there's a cute pile of smouldering
filters to remind the world of their presence.
Stubbies
are never going to work. For a start, smokers hate them. For a finish,
smokers really hate them, which means that even if forced to use the things,
they are more than likely to start a kind of guerilla campaign, turning
the instruments of torture on the oppressor. There'll be crazy scenes
of office civil war where smokers jump from behind non-smokers and shove
open Stubbies in their faces. "Smell that, you cancer-free health-freak!"
Instead,
the Mayor and other office managers need to find a tool that will encourage
smokers to dispose of their drugs properly, which is where the cows come
in. Yes, cows. Last year, the West End was brightened up by the presence
of hundreds of funny fake cows that served no purpose other than to raise
general levels of merriment. Bring these back, I say, but with the addition
of a suitably placed hole at one end into which cigarettes can be placed.
It's what the phrase 'fag-butt' was invented for.
THEATRE PICKS >>
Murderous
Instincts, The Savoy Theatre
Not
A Mild Sort of Spicy -
Breaking down the straightbacked chairs of evening theatre, Murderous
Instincts pours out the eccentric, lavish notes of salsa over its a-bit-more-restrained
counterparts.
"Money
is good, it's just misunderstood," belts out Lauren Buckingham, and
so begins lyrical money-grubbing of the riotous new
musical/comedy, Murderous Instincts, playing at the Savoy Theatre. Set
to a salsa beat and transplanted straight from the streets of Puerto Rico
before making its Broadway debut, Murderous Instincts follows the complete
unhinging of the Buckingham family following the death of its repressed
and commandeering patriarch...
(Allison Retka)
Click for full review
THEATRE TICKETS >>
Top
Theatre Sellers - (10 September - 30 September 2004)
1) Phantom of the Opera
2) Les Miserables
3) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
4) One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
5) The Lion King
THEATRE TICKETS >>
London
Theatre A - Z Guide
London
Theatre Reviews
ROCK & POP >>
New
Gig Highlights:
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Carling Brixton Academy
15 November, 7.00 PM, UKP20
Love them
or hate them, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are hard to ignore. Flamboyant songstress
Karen O. prevents them from being just another fashionable New York garage
punk band. Her vocals are a banshee wail that combines a Johnny Rotten-like
sneer with schoolgirl squeals. The trio is still running strong the strength
of their chaotic breakthrough full length, Fever to Tell. UK audiences
can expect an indomitable thrashing bundle of energy that will not be
toned down for audiences across the pond.
Our
Picks:
Nekromantix
with Death Valley Surfers and Shark Soup
The Garage
15 October, 7.00 PM, UKP10
Denmark's
decidedly scarier answer to the Reverend Horton Heat invades the Garage
on October 15. They haven't quite been able to ride the goth-punk/psychobilly
wave to success or gotten the acclaim of Hellcat Records label-mates Tiger
Army, but their 2002 album, Return of the Loving Dead proved them to be
one few musical and spiritual heirs to the Misfits. Their sixth album
and latest take on forcibly mating Fifties rockabilly with punk rock and
dark lyrical imagery is Dead Girls Don't Cry.
Har
Mar Superstar
The Mean Fiddler
12 October, 7.00 PM, UKP10
In
simplistic terms, Har Mar Superstar can be summed up as the closest thing
to Peaches' male counterpart. He combines soulful crooning with dirty
dancing and comedic striptease, an impressive feat as the artist
is a chubby white guy from Minnesota. Surprisingly, his intriguing brand
of funk meets sleazy R&B has the substance to back up this act. This
odd juxtaposition comes to the Mean Fiddler on October 12.
Gig Tickets:
Top
Rock & Pop Sellers
(10 September - 1 October 2004)
1. Diana Krall, Royal Albert Hall
2. Interpol, The Forum
3. Papa Roach, The Astoria
4. REM, London, Hyde Park
5. Neurosis, The Forum
OPERA, CLASSICAL & DANCE
>>
Cinderella
Royal
Ballet, Royal Opera House
2nd Dec 2004 - 14th Jan 2005
IF YOU'RE
PLANNING a Christmas treat you could do far worse than
witness the return of Cinderella, in this lavish new production
from last Season. A downtrodden young girl, a glass slipper and
a handsome prince combine to make the perfect piece of story-telling,
and with a fairy godmother around, anything can happen: pumpkins
become coaches, rags turn to ball gowns and there's bound to be
a happy ending. Ashton's first full-length ballet, given its premiere
in 1948 to great acclaim, draws together a wealth of 39 beautifully
drawn characters, portrayed against the wonderfully evocative themes
and colours of Prokofiev's great score.
Andrea
Bocelli, Wembley Arena,
7th Nov 2004
Top
Classical Sellers - (26 August - 9 September 2004)
1. Andrea Bocelli, Wembley Arena
2. Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, Sadler's Wells
3. Così fan tutte, Royal Opera, Royal Opera House
4. Don Giovanni, ENO, The Coliseum
5. San Francisco Ballet, Sadler's Wells
FILM OF THE WEEK >>
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (PG)
Action (2004) 106mins UK
Director: Kerry Conran
Starring: Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie,
Giovanni Ribisi
NEW YORK CITY is in a state of panic: renowned scientists are vanishing
all over the globe, and enormous, laser-shooting robots have trampled
the streets. Investigative reporter Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) is
on the trail, searching up a story and recruiting the help of her ex-flame
Captain H. Joseph Sullivan (Jude Law), known to the world as the courageous
and daredevil Sky Captain...
Click
for full review
OTHER
NEW FILMS THIS WEEK >>
De-Lovely(PG)
Dead Man's Shoes(18)
Layer Cake (15)
The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers (15)
Mambo Italiano(15)
Metallica - Some Kind Of Monster (15)
Princesa (18)
Saw (18)
SPECIAL
PREVIEWS >>
Bride & Prejudice (12A)
LISTINGS
>>
A
to Z of London Cinemas
A to Z of Films
showing in London this week
Harry
Hill tour – Nationwide
The self-styled floppy-collared-clown-prince-of-daft is back with another
full show of fun, mayhem and swingball. Expect fresh insights into the
horse, Nan and what to do with your key when you go swimming. Featuring:
Stouffer the Channel 4 Cat, Gary (Harry’s son from his first marriage),
Harry Hill senior and TV show band The Harrys with star of Radio2 ’s
Jammin’ Steve Brown.
Click
here to buy tickets.
Bill
Bailey (Part Troll) – Apollo Theatre
Click
here to buy tickets.
The Comedy
Store
London's most popular comedy club has been
splitting sides for twenty two years now.
The likes of Paul Merton, Jack Dee and Jo
Brand have all taken to the stage here.
Click
here for info and tickets
EXHIBIT
REVIEW >>
Christopher Dresser
The Victorian & Albert Museum
Cromwell Road, SW7
Tube: South Kensington, Gloucester Road, Knightsbridge
Thursday 9 September-Sunday 5 December 2004
10:00 - 5:45 M-F except W, 10 - 10pm
UKP6, senior citizens: UKP4, full time students and 12-17 year olds: UKP3
Fab
Guy - In traditional V&A inimitability, this autumn's Christopher
Dresser exhibition offers a look at the origin of home improvement TV.
He could do your garden and redesign your house before the time of
television, all with more thrift and ingenuity than we know today. Christopher
Dresser (1834 - 1904), who was one of the first to dabble in
botany, ceramics, metalwork, interior and furniture, introduced the practicalities
of design to the Victorian masses, thereby ensuring a future
of happy-looking-British homes.
(Megan M. Retka)
Click
for full review
CLUB TICKETS
>>
To purchase tickets for a selection of leading London Club venues try
our
online service. You'll have the peace of mind of knowing you've got your
tickets and at most venues you'll be able to jump the ticket queue. Venues
featured include:
- Fabric
- The End
- Borderline
- The Cross
CLUB REVIEWS
>>
Octave
27-28 Endell Street,
Covent Garden, WC2H 9BA
Tube: Covent Garden
Jazz
For The Larger Pockets - Recessed lighting, a gourmet cocktail menu
and a few oil portraits can't bring Armstrong back to Octave. Still, London's
newest jazz club brings promising crowds and quasi-Jazz enthusiasts who
like their Mojitos expensive, and their jazz small...
Click
for Full Review
Metro
Club
Bedrock @ Metro Club
19-23 Oxford Street W1D 2DN
Fridays 10:30PM-3AM,
tube: Tottenham Court Road
UKP7, UKP6 w/flyer, UKP5 before Midnight
DJs: Mac (Popscene), Little Chris (Collide-A-Scope), and Jamie (Candybox)
Proof
That British Hipsters Have More Fun - In America, hipsters belong
to a smug, arrogant social clique who will only condescend to dance or
sing along to songs for the sake of irony or to impress others with their
knowledge of obscure music. Waiting in the queue outside Metro on a Friday
night, then, it was worrying to see that many people shared the same mock-hawks
and uber-trend dress of their American counter-parts. Upon entry, however,
it was easy to see their attitudes couldn't be further apart. This wasn't
a social club - it was rock n' roll...
Click
Here for Full Review
MOST POPULAR
CLUB VENUES >>
Based on Page Visits on LondonNet (10 September - 1 October 2004)
1) Fabric
2) The End
3) Metro Club
4) The Cross
5) Bar Rumba
Click
for Club Venues and Listings
Club
Tickets
LONDON HOTELS >>
Exclusive
Deal: Melia
White House **** (Regents Park)
Double rooms from 99 UKP
High levels of facilities, including a health
and fitness centre, and service coupled with a
fine restaurant and handy central location make for
an excellent choice of London hotel. Set next to
Regent's Park (the one that contains London Zoo), the
White House is within walking distance of Oxford Street
and the British Museum. Via the nearby Great Portland
Street underground station, the rest of London's
attractions are within easy reach. Rooms feature a
long list of facilities including satellite TV, radio,
voice-mail, hair-dryer, tea/coffee making equipment,
mini-bar and trouser press. No smoking rooms are
available on a special floor and the outstanding Royal
Service Floor at the top of the hotel provides penthouse
accommodation plus a host of executive add-ons.
Three
of the Best:
The
Ritz***** (Piccadilly)
Style, sophistication and old-fashioned levels of genuine service
come together at one of the world's legendary hotels. New even
better exclusive rates for 2004, with half price deals on selected
suites.
The
Gore**** (Knightsbridge)
Winter Special
(1st Sept - 31st Dec)
Single - 109 UKP Inclusive of vat
Double - 149 UKP Inclusive of vat
The
Hyde Hotel *** (Paddington)
Comfortable three star hotel offering the best value ever on LondonNet
Just 55UKP for a double room!
www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/hotel-shop-mod-budget.html#hyde
LONDON
HOTEL CHART >>
Top Sellers (10 September - 1 October 2004)
1) Columbia
2) Melia White House
3) The Ritz
Best Value Accommodation for 2004:
Hotels
Bed and
Breakfasts:
Apartments:
Budget
Hostels:
WORLDWIDE
HOTELS >>
New additions and highlights from our sister site Hotelgenie.
- The
Burj Al Arab, Dubai:
Burj Al Arab is the world's only seven-star hotel
and any reservations you may have about such a title
will be quickly dispelled by the sheer magnificence
and splendour of this project. No other hotel has such a
striking presence inside or out and no other boasts
such refined and attentive levels of customer care and
experience. Hotelgenie.com has secured exclusive
discounts to bring this incredible hotel within the reach
of many dream-seekers.
NEWS >>
Knightley
is Sexiest MovieStar of All Time
London teenager beats screen legends in poll
Lon-Diversity On the Rise
Another borough posts non-white majority
Click
here for more LondonNet news stories...
REALLY FABULOUS
OCTAVE JAZZ COMPETITION >>
To celebrate
the opening of 'Octave', Covent Garden's hottest new jazz haven, we are
offering one lucky winner and a friend the chance to win an evening of
live jazz, dinner and a plentiful supply of exotic cocktails. 'Octave',
in the heart of London's west end is set to attract a young, cosmopolitan,
vibrant crowd and with live jazz every week, lunch and dinner menus and
a cocktail bar specialising in Mojitos and Caiprinhas, there is something
for everyone.
To enter this fantastic giveaway please answer the question below:
What contemporary
jazz artist won the 'Best Breakthrough Artist' title at this year's Brit
Awards?
· Jamie Cullum
· Jamie Griffiths
· Jamie Green
How
to Enter: Send an email with the correct answer and subject header
"Octave Jazz Night Competiton" to: octavejazz_comp@londonnet.co.uk
More
Necessary Info: NB Include email, telephone number
and postal address (which will only be used for this compie - guaranteed).
If you don't include your details we can't send you info about the prize!
Even More Info: First correct answers out of the Editor's hat win
the
prizes, details will be sent to the winner. The Editor's decision is final.
Closing
Date: 3pm, 4 October 2004
LONDONNET
COMPETITIONS >>
Details of some of the best free competition sites on the web. Register
today for your chance to win cash, cars and lots, lots more.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/competitions.html
Readers
say their piece
Send mail to: ahoy-talkback@londonnet.co.uk
TALKBACK
NOTES >>
The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons
of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of
course feedback about the newsletter or website.
DEAR
LONDONNET:
I like
going out to the cinema, usually Surrey Quays and like the family friendly
atmosphere when with my children. But i would appreciate the option of
a more sophisticated 'adult setting' when i go with my wife; a quieter
'wine-bar' atmosphere where we can relax away from kids, popcorn etc etc.
This could be achieved by making a separate side entrance to one, or all
of the present screens and I think it would be very popular. Eddie
REPLY:
DEAR EDDIE,
We wish
that we could tear down walls and put up a proper bar at Surrey Quays
for you, but until we persuade them through a few minor building permits,
we suggest taking your wife on an amorous walk/ride to the Greenwich cinema,
where a proper bar and a few romantic comedies await you.
Yours, LONDONNET
SPONSORS>>
HotelGenie: Our handpicked selection
of fine European hotels.
POTENTIAL
SPONSORS >>
If you want targeted hits for your website, why not sponsor an issue of
AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter.
For info
mail us at: ahoy-sponsors@londonnet.co.uk
or click
here for more info
For details of cost effective banner advertising on LondonNet please email:
mailto:iain@londonnet.co.uk
UNTIL NEXT
TIME >>
Copyright 1996-2004. AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter is published by LondonNet
Limited.All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced
in whole, or in part, without the express written consent of the publisher.
Registered Address: LondonNet, Hoppingwood Farm, Robin Hood Way, London,
SW20 0AB
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