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AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...
15 July 2004, Issue 159

LondonNet Homepage
LondonNet Homepage:

AHOY! Contents:
1. WHAT'S UP: London for Free, Offers, Attractions
2. LONDON DIARY: Social Embarrassment in a Phonebox
3. ENTERTAINMENT: Theatre, Music, Clubs, Cinema
4. HOTELS: London and Worldwide hotel deals
5. NEWS: Latest news from London
6. COMPETITION: - Kevin Spacey's Cloaca Competition
7. TALKBACK: Pub Rock, Imax
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With HomeChoice, a 1Mb super-fast connection to your PC comes as
standard, delivering the Internet at up to 20 times faster than dial-up.

But that's just for starters. You can also take your pick from 60 TV
channels, many more than Freeview. Our line-up includes E4, Paramount
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exactly when you want.

It's easy too. HomeChoice is delivered to your PC and TV through your
existing BT telephone line.


1. WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet

- Toast Life - Toast Australia Competition
This week we have a pair of tickets for Toast Life - Toast Australia at Syon Park, West London on Sunday 11th July 2004.
- Click here for competition details.




- The Gore: Summer special: UKP139 double rooms (save UKP85.25)

Bed and Breakfast:
- Hyde from only UKP17 per person per night

- Generator from UKP9 per person per night

- Free updates of all available rooms or tenants in your area


- For the latest information and tickets for a wide range of London's
premier attractions see our regularly updated London Attractions page.
Top Sellers (2 - 15 July 2004)
1) London Eye
2) Summer Opening of the Houses of Parliament Tour
3) Tower Of London
4) Summer Opening of the State Rooms, Buckingham Palace
5) The London Dungeon

Royal Academy of Arts
- Ancient art to post-impressionism
- Fifa 100 Exhibition
- Summer Exhibition
- Tamara de Lempika
- William Nicholson


- Social Embarrassment in a Phonebox


Finding yourself in public without your mobile phone these days is as
socially embarrassing as getting caught short needing a wee-wee used to be.

Coincidentally, relief for both afflictions is and was to be found in the
same place – the public phone box. Years ago there used to be queues outside
these things and, especially after pubs had closed late at night, you never
quite knew which of your fellow phone-box fans would whip out their spare
change or their spare leg.

British Telecom took years to come up with a solution to the toilet-problem
and by the time they did, by replacing enclosed boxes with open ones that
deterred half-modest urinators, mobile phones had conquered the world.

Nowadays phone booths are used only by tourists, prostitutes and me. Yes,
the other day, I committed the sin of brazenly trudging the streets
mobile-less and was forced to use a public phone. I’d forgotten about those
heart-stopping moments after you’ve dropped your coins (30p now!) into the
slot, when the slight delay could mean either total malfunction or a
teasingly slow line connection. The relief when I heard the little click of
response was almost physical in feeling. Then it became 100 per cent
physical when my phone nerves triggered an unwanted reaction down below. The
trick, I suddenly remembered, was to beat the trickle out of the booth and
thank the lord for London summer rain.
(David Clee)




Theatre Pick:
- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, London Palladium
Run: Bookings to March 2005
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang we love you - and somebody up there must love us too, because now that magical car is heading for the stage - sailing through seas, flying through the air and now coming to the London Palladium. Truly scrumptious, grandpa Potts, the dastardly baron and the evil child catcher are out in full force for this extravaganza of wacky inventions. The Sherman brothers' songs made the film famous - now this high flying musical looks set for new heights...


Special Deals:
- Democracy, Wyndhams Theatre

Run: Mon, 26th July 2004 to Sat, 16th October 2004
In a new play by Michael Frayn transferring to the West End from the National Theatre, three political parties are in and out of bed with each other like drunken intellectuals, fifteen warring cabinet ministers, and sixty million separate egos. All making deals with each other and breaking them; all are looking round at every moment to see the expression on everyone else’s face; all trying to guess which way everyone else will jump; all out for themselves and all totally dependent on everyone else. In not one Germany, but sixty million separate Germanies, Willy Brandt begins his brief but remarkable career as the first left-of-centre Chancellor for nearly forty years. Always present but rarely noticed is Günter Guillaume, Brandt’s devoted personal assistant – and no less devoted in his other role, spying on Brandt for the East German Stasi.

- Theatre Tickets
Top Sellers (2 - 15 July 2004)

1) Phantom of the Opera
2) Oleanna
3) Les Miserables
4) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
5) Jerry Springer, The Opera

- Theatre: A to Z of Shows
Our guide to all the leading musicals and dramas running or soon to open in
the West End. With quick links to previews, reviews and ticket pages.



- Gig (Non)Review:
Massive Attack, Brixton Academy, 9 July 2004
I'd been looking forward to this one for ages. Unwilling to wait and see if we'd get press tickets I bought my own several months ago. Come last Friday I opened the ticket envelope and realised that the tickets inside were for the previous night's show. Despite frantic calls to our agents and the venue I was unable to make a swap - even though the gig wasn't a sell out and we'd sold ninety tickets for the band (value UKP2,941). We could argue for an age and a day as to whose fault the cock up was. Ultimately though it goes to show make sure you check the tickets as soon as they arrive. The really annoying thing is that those who went reckon the gig was a stormer. Ouch. (A sixty-six pound poorer Peter D. Clee)

- Gig Highlights:

P.J.Harvey, Hammersmith Apollo
Wed, 15th September 2004, UKP25.00 + fees
Polly Jean's follow up to the Mercury Prize winning Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea, entitled Uh Huh Her, has been recently released, and this live show promises to put the final gloss on the music featured on it.
And if you're very quick tickets are still on sale for P.J.'s show tonight at the Brixton Academy!

Will Young, Wembley Arena
Sun, 28th to Mon, 29th November, UKP29.50 + fees
The prince of Pop Idol's winter UK tour.

Our Picks:
The Delays, London Shepherd's Bush Empire

Tue, 21st September 2004, UKP12.00 + fees

Lou Reed, Carling Apollo Hammersmith, London
Tue, 17th August 2004, 7.00 PM, UKP30.00 + fees
The legendary NY art rocker formerly of Velvet Underground returns to London. With a solo repertoire including Walk On The Wild Side, Perfect Day, Satellite of Love and Sweet Jane this is set to be an aural treat. The tour follows the release of a new live album, Animal Serenade.


- Gig Listings:
Our list of forthcoming London gigs. Plan your gigging and book your tickets

Top Sellers (2 - 15 July 2004)
1. Bryan Ferry, Kenwood House
2. Air, Somerset House
3. Lionel Richie, Wembley Arena
4. Lou Reed, Hammersmith Apollo
5. Incognito + Rahsaan Patterson, The Astoria




- Andrea Bocelli, Wembley Arena, 7th Nov 2004
Andrea Bocelli's concerts are always the classical music events of any year. Seven UK hit albums (three certified platinum) in five years have confirmed Andrea Bocelli as not just the British public's favourite classical artist, but simply one of the British public's best loved vocalists. This concert is a rare opportunity for British music lovers to experience Bocelli's voice, in a programme that will feature the greatest Italian arias.


Classical and Dance

- Classic FM Live, Music from The Movies, Kenwood House
Sat, 21st August , UKP17.00 + fees
Classic FM has selected a stunning programme celebrating great movie themes. Presented by Classic FM DJ Simon Bates, highlights will include themes from classics such as Star Wars and Goldfinger and the latest blockbusters including Titanic, Lord of the Rings and Gladiator.

Plus more open air music at Kenwood House, Hampstead:
Bryan Ferry, Club Classical - The Ultimate Chillout Live, Gypsy Kings, Jamie Cullum, Jools Holland and his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra, Kenwood Summer Prom, Last Night of the Kenwood Proms, Music to Watch Girls By, Opera Gala.


- The Bolshoi Ballet @ The Royal Opera House:
Don Quixote, Romeo and Juliet, Spartacus, Swan Lake and The Pharaoh's Daughter
For full details and tickets for season see:

Top Sellers (2 - 15 July 2004)
1. Kenwood Summer Prom, Kenwood House
2. Last Night of the Kenwood Proms, Kenwood House
3. Andrea Bocelli, London, Wembley Arena
4. A Midsummer Night's Dream ENO, The Coliseum
5. Last Night of the Audley End Proms, Audley End House
- Tickets:



- Film Of The Week
Spider-Man 2 (PG)
Action (2004) 127mins US
Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Alfred Molina
Having despatched The Green Goblin, Peter Parker enrolls at Columbia University to study Physics where he wrestles with his love for neighbour Mary Jane Watson and the crushing responsibilities of being a superhero.
He throws away his uniform in dismay and attempts to enjoy a normal teenage life. However, when world renowned scientist Dr Otto Octavius is transformed into villainous, tentacled man-machine Doc Ock, Peter is compelled to put back on his spider-suit to save New York City and the woman he loves.
Showing at:

- Other New Films This Week
Joy Of Madness (PG)
The Miracle Of Bern (Das Wunder Von Bern) (PG)
Nathalie... (15)
The Prince & Me (PG)
Woman Of The Dunes (Suna No Onna) (15)

Special Previews (Limited screenings - check carefully)
Thunderbirds (PG)

- Listings
A to Z of London Cinemas:
A to Z of Films showing in London this week:


Best way to soak up the sights of the city as you wine and dine
- Cruises on the Thames...



- NEW! Buy your London Club tickets online
To purchase tickets for a selection of leading London Club venues try our new online service. You'll have the peace of mind of knowing you've got your tickets and at most venues you'll be able to jump the ticket queue. Venues featured include:
- Fabric
- The End
- Borderline
- The Cross

- London Clubs Chart: Most Popular Venues
Based on Page Visits on LondonNet (2 - 15 July 2004)
1) Fabric
2) The End
3) Neighbourhood
4) Vibe Bar
5) Metro Club

- Club Venues and Listings




Melia White House **** (Regents Park)
- Special Offer: Double rooms from 99 UKP

High levels of facilities, including a health and fitness centre, and service coupled with a fine restaurant and handy central location make for an excellent choice of London hotel.

Set next to Regent's Park (the one that contains London Zoo), the White House is within walking distance of Oxford Street and the British Museum. Via the nearby Great Portland Street underground station, the rest of London's attractions are within easy reach.

Rooms feature a long list of facilities including satellite TV, radio, voice-mail, hair-dryer, tea/coffee making equipment, mini-bar and trouser press. No smoking rooms are available on a special floor and the outstanding Royal Service Floor at the top of the hotel provides penthouse accommodation plus a host of executive add-ons.

Three of The Best
- Top three offers currently available to LondonNet readers:

The Ritz***** (Piccadilly)
- Style, sophistication and old-fashioned levels of genuine service come
together at one of the world's legendary hotels. New even better exclusive
rates for 2004, with half price deals on selected suites.

The Gore**** (Knightsbridge)
- Summer special: UKP139 double rooms (save UKP85.25)

The Hyde Hotel *** (Paddington)
- Comfortable three star hotel offering the best value ever on LondonNet:
Just 55UKP for a double room!

- London Hotel Chart
Top Sellers (2 - 15 July 2004)
1) Columbia
2) Melia White House
3) Gore


Best Value Accommodation for 2004:

Bed and Breakfasts:
Budget Hostels:


New additions and highlights from our sister site

The Burj Al Arab, Dubai:
Burj Al Arab is the world's only seven-star hotel and any reservations you
may have about such a title will be quickly dispelled by the sheer
magnificence and splendour of this project. No other hotel has such a
striking presence inside or out and no other boasts such refined and
attentive levels of customer care and experience. has secured exclusive discounts to bring this incredible
hotel within the reach of many dream-seekers.


5. NEWS: Latest news from London

Nurses from Overseas 'Prop Up NHS'
- Up to a quarter of all nurses in London from abroad
Christmas Cheer for Congestion Charge Payers

- Mayor plans to drop CC for festive period



- Kevin Spacey's Cloaca Competition
This week we have a pair of tickets for Cloaca directed by Kevin Spacey to be used between 16 September and 14 October 2004. Cloaca stars Hugh Bonneville, Neil Pearson, Stephen Tompkinson and Ingeborga Dapkunaite.
- Scroll down for competition details.


- Kevin Spacey's Cloaca Info:

Four lifelong friends are reunited in middle age, their lives finely
balanced between hope and disillusion. Maria Goos' play is a dark and
funny examination of friendship and aspirations, exploring how men
compromise their emotional lives in the constant quest for money, power
and reputation."

This event is being held at the Old Vic Theatre, The Cut, Waterloo Road,
London, SE1 8NB. Nearest tube is Waterloo.

Winners of the competition can choose when they'd like to see Cloaca
(between 16/09/04 and 14/10/04, Mon to Thurs only, top price tickets -
subject to availability.)

Question: Where is Kevin Spacey's Cloaca playing?

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do to enter is send an email with the correct
answer and subject header "Kevin Spacey's Cloaca Competition" to:
mailto:[email protected]


NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be
used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your details we can't
send you info about the prize!

RULES and INFO: First correct answer out of the Editor's hat wins the prize,
details will be sent to the winner. The Editor's decision is final.
Closing Date: 5 July 2004


LondonNet Competitions Page
- Details of some of the best free competition sites on the web. Register
today for your chance to win cash, cars and lots, lots more.

Issue 158, 2 July 2004
Toast Australia Competition
Question: What is the capital city of Australia?
Answer: Canberra
Winners: Catherine Blackmore (London, N7)

7. AHOY! TALKBACK: Readers say their piece

Send mail to mailto:[email protected]
- The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons
of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
- We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of
course feedback about the newsletter or website.


Dear LondonNet,

I just came across your site by accident. Reading the article on Pub rock is dead I can only agree. I am from the Birmingham area and my band constantly have problems with promoters, firstly charging a high entry fee and secondly miss matching bands. It seems everywhere you go a promoter is only interested in lining his pockets. There are exceptions such as the Wharf Bar in Walsall where the promoter cares about getting it right, promoting, matching bands and showing enthusiasum. This is very rare these days....A very interesting article indead.
Peter Claire

REPLY: Sad to hear the same trend is happening in Brum too Peter. (Ed).
The End of the Road for Pub Rock?:


Dear LondonNet,

I was lucky enough to win a family ticket to the Imax cinema at the Science
Museum in South Kensington in a recent competition of yours. My partner and
I trundled the kids round there at the weekend - and we all found it a
thoroughly enjoyable experience. The 3D Cyber show was highly entertaining,
with special effects that were just amazing. So thanks Londonnet and Imax -
we would recommend this particular outing to young and old alike.

Yours sincerely,

Brian Hood, Alison Croft, Tom and George, New Malden, Surrey

REPLY: Great to hear you enjoyed the show. (Ed).

See Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban at the Science Museum IMAX:



HOMECHOICE: Super-fast Internet and 60 of best digital and on-demand TV.

With HomeChoice, a 1Mb super-fast connection to your PC comes as
standard, delivering the Internet at up to 20 times faster than dial-up.

But that's just for starters. You can also take your pick from 60 TV
channels, many more than Freeview. Our line-up includes E4, Paramount
Comedy, CNN, UKTV Gold and MTV - plus 1,000 movies, 2,500 hit music
videos and hundreds of hit TV series on-demand, all available to watch
exactly when you want.

It's easy too. HomeChoice is delivered to your PC and TV through your
existing BT telephone line.


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