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AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...
6 May 2004, Issue 154

LondonNet Homepage: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/
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AHOY! Contents:
1. WHAT'S UP: London for Free, Offers, Attractions, Classified
2. LONDON DIARY: I, The Electorate
3. ENTERTAINMENT: Theatre, Music, Clubs, Cinema
4. HOTELS: London and Worldwide hotel deals
5. NEWS: Latest news from London
6. COMPETITION: - Neighbourhood's One Starry Night Competition
7. TALKBACK: Cinema pop ups
Online version of this Ahoy!: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ahoy/154.html
Advertising Info:
- http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/talk/info/advertising.html
Subscribe/Unsubscribe to Ahoy!:
- Click here to subscribe to the LondonNet newsletter

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1. WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet
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LONDON FOR FREE:
- Neighbourhood's One Starry Night Competition
This week we have three pairs of tickets for Saturday's One Starry Night at Neighbourhood. The three lucky winners also bag a bottle of bubbly and a VIP booth to boot.
- Scroll down for competition details.

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LONDON DEALS:

ACCOMMODATION: 2004 Offers
Hotels:
- The Gore (Hotel of the Year 2001) UKP129 double rooms (save UKP61)
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/hotel-list.html
Bed and Breakfast:
- Hyde from only UKP17 per person per night
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/bandb.html
Budget:
- Generator from UKP9 per person per night
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/budget.html
Flatshares:
- Free updates of all available rooms or tenants in your area
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/flatshare.html

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LONDON ATTRACTIONS:
- For the latest information and tickets for a wide range of London's
premier attractions see our reqularly updated London Attractions page.
Top Sellers (24 April - 6 May 2004)
1) London Eye
2) RHS Chelsea Flower Show
3) Dali Universe
4) The London Dungeon
5) Madame Tussaud's/Planetarium
http://www.londonnet.com/ln/guide/about/attractions-tickets.html

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LONDONNET CLASSIFIED:
- Your first stop for free small ads in London
We've teamed up with Vivastreet, the people behind our hugely successful
flatshare service, to bring you a brand new classified service. All
individuals can place ads for free on topics such as Personals, For Sale,
Community, Events and Jobs.
- http://londonnet.vivastreet.co.uk/

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SPONSOR:

HOTELGENIE: Our handpicked selection of fine European hotels.
http://www.hotelgenie.com/

NEW! The Burj Al Arab, Dubai:
Burj Al Arab is the world's only seven-star hotel and any reservations you may have about such a title will be quickly dispelled by the sheer magnificence and splendour of this project. No other hotel has such a striking presence inside or out and no other boasts such refined and attentive levels of customer care and experience.
Hotelgenie.com has secured exclusive discounts to bring this incredible hotel within the reach of many dream-seekers.
http://www.hotelgenie.com/dubai/burj.shtml

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2. LONDON DIARY
- I, The Electorate
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London’s political establishment is worried about the turnout for the
upcoming, 10th of June, elections for Mayor and Greater London Assembly.

Our representatives would all sleep easier with some kind of mandate with
which to fill out their expenses forms. Ain’t gonna happen, but not for the
reasons usually cited which amount to a general disillusionment with the
political process.

No, what’s gone unnoticed is that there’s virtually no-one left to vote.
Here’s how it works: London’s population is about 6.5 million. Out of that
there are around 2 million under 18s leaving 4.5 million. June is a summer
month so about 10 per cent of us will be away on holiday, leaving 3.8
million. Changes in work patterns mean a lot of people will be doing
exciting 12 hour shifts in call centres just outside the M25 making getting
to a polling station impossible. We’re now down to 3 million.

There are about 250,000 Australians and New Zealanders in London, about
200,000 South Africans, 200,000 French, 200,000 other western Europeans and
100,000 Americans bringing the total down to 2 million. South American
exiles, Chinese nationals, east Africans, west Africans, central Africans
and a few Antarcticans send the figure plummeting to about 1.5 million.

The 10th of June is 40 days after the 1st of May, and, according to the
tabloids, 10,000 ne’er do wells from the new EU will be arriving in London
every day, leaving 1.1 million. That other group watched over by the
tabloids, asylum seekers, are apparently an indeterminate number of hundreds
of thousands strong. We’ll say 500,000, which adds down to 600,000. Throw in
those in hospital, prison and whose alarm clocks don’t work and we’re
probably left with my two friends and I. They’ve told me they won’t bother
voting. A message to all politicians: I accept bribes.
(David Clee)

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3. ENTERTAINMENT
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THEATRE
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre.html

Theatre Review:
- Oleanna
Writer: David Mamet, Director: Lindsay Posner
Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Julia Stiles
Garrick Theatre, Charing Cross Road, London WC2
Tube: Leicester Square/Charing Cross
Ticket Price: UKP25-35 + Fees
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre_oleanna.html

David Mamet’s 1992 script gets a fresh West End outing with Aaron Eckhart playing John, the college professor lost in a sea of political correctness after a bust up with his challenging pupil Carol (Julia Stiles).

John is under pressure. His promotion to college tenure is tantalisingly close to being sealed. His new house purchase is in the balance and his phone rings every few minutes to update him on the precarious move.

Carol initially comes across as seriously confused. Confused by her poor grade from John, confused with John’s course and, as they discuss her work,increasingly confused by him.

They spend the opening of the play talking across, interrupting and generally ignoring each other. Here is the root of their dislocated relationship. Neither side spends the time to comprehend the other and ultimately it is this lack of understanding that propels the two toward disaster.

Oleanna is not just a cautionary tale on modern political correctness. It asserts the intellectual triumph of fresh ideas and youth over entrenched values. Indeed, despite any sympathy that the audience might have with the bedazzled professor, it is the student who ultimately contrives to hold all the aces in their battle of wills.

Eckhart’s (In The Company of Men, Erin Brockovich) performance is solid from the start and his unfolding quandary is well carried. For me Julia Stiles (Ten Things I Hate About You, Mona Lisa Smile) took time to warm up, but in her defence this coincides with the increasing confidence garnered by Carol as the tables are turned in this wry drama tale of sexual mores.
Peter D. Clee (mailto:[email protected])

Oleanna Tickets and Info:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre_oleanna.html

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Special Deals:
Fuddy Meers @ Arts Theatre - Top price tickets only UKP19.50.
Cathcart Spring Proms @ Royal Albert Hall - 2 tickets for the price of 1.
Rattle of a Simple Man @ Comedy Theatre - Best available tickets only UKP25.
Suddenly Last Summer @ Albery Theatre - Best available tickets only UKP25.
Jerry Springer - The Opera @ Cambridge Theatre - UKP25 tickets for theatregoers aged 25 and under.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre_tickets.html

- Theatre Tickets
Top Sellers (24 April - 6 May 2004)
1) Phantom of the Opera
2) Blood Brothers
3) Bombay Dreams
4) Chicago
5) Mamma Mia!
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre_tickets.html

- Theatre: A to Z of Shows
Our guide to all the leading musicals and dramas running or soon to open in
the West End. With quick links to previews, reviews and ticket pages.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/theatre_reviews.html

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MUSIC
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/

- Gig Highlights:

Red Hot Chili Peppers @ Hyde Park
Fri, 25th June 2004, Tickets: UKP35.00 plus fees
- 2003 finally saw the Chili Peppers achieve godlike status with the release of a deafeningly fantastic Greatest Hits collection and now the funked-up rock legends bring a touch of Californication to the British Summer with this special Hyde Park mini-fest.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/rockpoptickets.html

Plus:

Hip Hop Don't Stop @ Wembley Arena
- Featuring Missy Elliott, Kelis & Talib Kweli.
Sat, 19th June 2004, Tickets: UKP28.50 + fees

KMFDM @ The Mean Fiddler
Thursday 8 July 2004, Tickets: UKP11.00 plus fees
Original industrial sounds from Germany's KMFDM
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/rockpoptickets.html

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- Gig Listings:
Our list of forthcoming London gigs. Plan your gigging and book your tickets
at: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/rockpoplistings.html

Top Sellers (24 April - 6 May 2004)
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. Jamie Cullum
3. 50 Cent
4. Third Day
5. The Vines

Tickets: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/rockpoptickets.html

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Classical and Dance
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/classical.html

- Club Classical: The Ultimate Chillout Live
Kenwood House
The ultimate chillout live, sequenced by Anne Dudley from Art of Noise. Enjoy the soothing sounds, from Handel’s Sarabande, Fauré’s Pavane and Albinoni’s Adagio, along with the atmospheric sounds of the legendary Enigma, Goldfrapp, Moby and The Verve – the hottest chillout evening this summer.

For full details and tickets for the open air music season at Kenwood House, Hampstead see:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/classical_kenwood.html

Top Sellers (24 April - 6 May 2004)
1. Club Classical - The Ultimate Chillout Live
2. Daphnis and Chloe/Le Spectre de la Rose/L'Apres Midi D'un Faune/Les Noces, Royal Ballet
3. Kenwood Summer Prom
4. Onegin, Royal Opera
5. Royal New Zealand Ballet
- Tickets: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/music/classicaltickets.html

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CINEMA
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/cinema.html

- Film Of The Week
Van Helsing (12A)
Action (2004) 131mins US
Director: Stephen Sommers
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh

Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is tasked with defeating evil the world over. His mission pits him and corset-clad Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) against monsters, vampires and werewolves as they seek to halt the encroaching darkness. For all the hype, Stephen Sommers’s (The Mummy, The Mummy Returns) slam bang action movie, is let down by weak characterisation, minimal dialogue and a baffling plot. Intended to be a horror film, it’s more like a horror of a film.

Following the success of The Mummy movies, writer and director Sommers has clearly been given free reign with this project. It’s a $150 million self indulgent ode to the era of computer generated imagery (CGI). For a brief moment the effects may dazzle you, but it only takes a short breath and you’re aching for just a tad of worthwhile storyline and intrigue. Instead you are served up 2 hours and fifteen minutes of increasingly unlikely digitised trash harried along by an unremittingly loud score.

Good horror movies use creepy effects for sure, but they chill best when the evil villain really gets under your skin. You may have to wait for the final scene of The Wicker Man for a visual drama but thanks to the unremittingly sinister build-up I have nightmares about it to this day.

Its undeniable that some of the set pieces in Van Helsing are quite stunning, but they aren’t in the slightest scary. Through overuse, the CGI seems just as phoney as the script is hokey - the very effects that are meant to be the film’s greatest asset turn out to be its greatest defect.

I understand that the film’s makers are building a ‘Van Helsing: Fortress Dracula’ attraction at their Universal Studios theme park. I’m sure that most paying punters will feel they’ve been taken for enough of a ride already. (Peter D. Clee - mailto:[email protected])
Showing at: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/films/vanhelsing.html

- Other New Films This Week
The Company (12A)
Wonderland (18)

- Listings
A to Z of London Cinemas:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/cinema/index.html
A to Z of Films showing in London this week:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/films/index.html

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RESTAURANTS:
Best way to soak up the sights of the city as you wine and dine
- Cruises on the Thames...
http://www.londonnet.com/ln/out/ent/restaurants.html

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CLUBS
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/out/ent/clubs.html

One Starry Night, Sat, 8 May 2004.
- Neighbourhood, 12 Acklam Road, Ladbroke Grove, London W10
Tel: 0207 524 7979
Warm, richly-detailed house, Afro-Latin, future soul and funk with heavyweight four-man resident DJ tag-team on rotation - Ben Watt (Buzzin' Fly/EBTG/Lazy Dog), Sir Piers (Curious), Peter Adarkwah (Barely Breaking Even) and DJ Harv (Honest Jon's) - plus top guests Ben Watt plays a host set this week, and following a fierce debut Neighbourhood set last year welcomes back New York underground leading light Neil Aline, kingpin at super-cool label Chez Music. Maybe its his French-Tahiti blood but Aline's multicultural mix of nu-Euro future soul, classic Chicago/NYC and percussive Afro-global rhythms certainly rocks the crowd.
http://www.neighbourhoodclub.net

- London Clubs Chart: Most Popular Venues
(Based on Page Visits on LondonNet, 24 April - 6 May 2004)
1) Fabric
2) Metro Club
3) The Ministry of Sound
4) Herbal
5) The Cross

- Club Venues and Listings
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/clubs/index.html

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4. HOTELS
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LONDON
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/hotel-shop.html

Chelsea Lodge - Budget: 55 - 65 UKP
A great little hotel over one of west London's premier pubs, the Chelsea
Lodge scores highly for value for money, location and efficiency of service.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/offerchelsealodge.html

Three of The Best
- Top three offers currently available to LondonNet readers:

The Ritz***** (Piccadilly)
- Style, sophistication and old-fashioned levels of genuine service come
together at one of the world's legendary hotels. New even better exclusive
rates for 2004, with half price deals on selected suites.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/offerritz.html

The Gore**** (Knightsbridge)
- Doubles now from only UKP 129 incl. VAT.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/offergore.html

The Hyde Hotel *** (Paddington)
- Comfortable three star hotel offering the best value ever on LondonNet:
Just 55UKP for a double room!
www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/hotel-shop-mod-budget.html#hyde

- London Hotel Chart
Top Sellers (24 April - 6 May 2004)
1) Columbia
2) Royal Garden
3) Commodore
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/hotel-shop.html

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Best Value Accommodation for 2004:

Hotels:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/resources/hotel-shop.html
Bed and Breakfasts:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/bandb.html
Apartments:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/apartments.html
Budget Hostels:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/guide/accomm/budget_hostels.html

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WORLDWIDE
New additions and highlights from our sister site Hotelgenie.com.
http://www.hotelgenie.com/

NEW! The Burj Al Arab, Dubai:
Burj Al Arab is the world's only seven-star hotel and any reservations you may have about such a title will be quickly dispelled by the sheer magnificence and splendour of this project. No other hotel has such a striking presence inside or out and no other boasts such refined and attentive levels of customer care and experience.
Hotelgenie.com has secured exclusive discounts to bring this incredible hotel within the reach of many dream-seekers.
http://www.hotelgenie.com/dubai/burj.shtml

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5. NEWS: Latest news from London

Traffic Wardens Told to 'Play it by the Book'
- Softly, softly approach to be tried in Central London
Madonna Marks Out Her Borderline
- Material girl wants to keep you off her land
Hot Features
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/talk/news/headlines.html

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6. COMPETITIONS
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- Neighbourhood's One Starry Night Competition
This week we have three pairs of tickets for Saturday's One Starry Night at Neighbourhood. The three lucky winners also bag a bottle of bubbly and a VIP booth to boot.

More info on One Starry Night featuring Ben Watt see Clubs above.

Question: Name the venue for Saturday's One Starry Night?

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do to enter is send an email with the correct
answer and subject header "One Starry Night Competition" to:
mailto:[email protected]

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NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be
used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your details we can't
send you info about the prize!

RULES and INFO: First correct answers out of the Editor's hat win the prize,
details will be sent to the winners. The Editor's decision is final.
Closing Date: Midday, Friday 7 May 2004

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LondonNet Competitions Page
- Details of some of the best free competition sites on the web. Register
today for your chance to win cash, cars and lots, lots more.
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/competitions.html

WINNERS:
Issue 153, 23 April 2004
Sax Competition
Qu: What is the name of the new head chef at Sax?
Answer: Ahmed Belouani
Winners: Sarah-Jane Pinto (East Dulwich, London SE22)

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7. AHOY! TALKBACK: Readers say their piece

Send mail to mailto:[email protected]
Notes:
- The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons
of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
- We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of
course feedback about the newsletter or website.

-------------------------

Dear LondonNet,

The arrangement with the Ahoy newsletter is incredibly destructive to the user-experience of this site. Every time the screen changes in response to a user command the pop-up appears and has to be manually closed. Sometimes the pop-up appears merely after a certain time has elapsed whilst reading the same screen.

As the site is intended to provide comprehensive listings for film information, you might expect its users to do a considerable amount of searching, which means numerous clicks to close the pop-up. Surely it is actually detrimental to ask users whether they want to sign up to the same service so many times. I like my choices when faced with promotional material to be accepted first time round.

Would Ahoy's circulation be any less if its method of advertising was less of a blot on your beautiful website?

Kind regards,

Aaron Webber.

REPLY: Thanks for the email.

I am sorry to hear that you find the Ahoy! pop ups on our site annoying.

As a non-subscription site we have to make our money by displaying
advertising. As we are regular web users ourselves we know that too many pop
ups can get irritating. That's why we always try and steer advertisers
toward banner, button and skyscraper ads which are positioned statically
around the main content (top and right hand side of page). However from time
to time an advertiser simply insists on having pop ups either on their own
or with other ads.

The reason that you see so many Ahoy! ads (particularly at certain times) is
that they are our house ads and are used to balance the paid campaigns
(currently including two pop up campaigns on the site) to ensure that the
ads get to the right people (by county, country, etc) at the right time
(evenings only, etc). House ads are shown when the others are not required.
They are the putty around the cement so to speak.

To add to your woes because our cinema pages are generated automatically
twice each week we have a simple choice: pop ups on all these pages or pop
ups on none. It's crude but for now that's what we have to do. When we don't
have pop up advertisers (about half the time) we remove the pop ups from
each (or most) section(s).

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Now the good news...

Here's a tip to reduce the inconvenience, don't click on or close the pop
ups.

Provided you stay in the same section such as cinema your browser will only
open the pop up once. Browse around the cinema pages and you will not be
loading the same ad time after time. Once you close it however, your browser
will request a new pop every time you go back to a new page in cinema.

Hope this helps. (Ed).

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SPONSOR:

HOTELGENIE: Our handpicked selection of fine European hotels.
http://www.hotelgenie.com/

NEW! The Burj Al Arab, Dubai:
Burj Al Arab is the world's only seven-star hotel and any reservations you may have about such a title will be quickly dispelled by the sheer magnificence and splendour of this project. No other hotel has such a striking presence inside or out and no other boasts such refined and attentive levels of customer care and experience.
Hotelgenie.com has secured exclusive discounts to bring this incredible hotel within the reach of many dream-seekers.
http://www.hotelgenie.com/dubai/burj.shtml

Ahoy! Advertising Info:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/talk/info/advertising.html

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- Sponsorship of AHOY!
If you want targeted hits for your website, why not sponsor an issue of
AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter. For info mail us at:
[email protected] or visit:
http://www.londonnet.co.uk/ln/talk/info/advertising.html

For details of cost effective banner advertising on LondonNet please email:
mailto:[email protected]

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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Copyright 1996-2004. AHOY! The LondonNet Newsletter is published by LondonNet Limited.
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole,
or in part, without the express written consent of the publisher.
Registered Address: LondonNet, Hoppingwood Farm, Robin Hood Way, London, SW20 0AB

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