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AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...
11 March 2004, Issue 150

Los corazones estan con usted - Our hearts are with you

LondonNet Homepage
LondonNet Homepage:

AHOY! Contents:
1. WHAT'S UP: London for Free, Offers, Attractions
2. LONDON DIARY: Madrid Bombs
3. ENTERTAINMENT: Theatre, Music, Clubs, Cinema
4. HOTELS: London and Worldwide hotel deals
5. NEWS: Latest news from London
6. COMPETITION: - Vitality Show and Classic Cars Live Compie
7. TALKBACK: Wilshire Comes to London
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1. WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet

- Vitality Show and Classic Cars Live Compies
This week we have two great competitions for you. Up for grabs are 5 pairs
of tickets for the Vitality Show 2004 at Olympia plus a special first prize.
Also on offer are 5 pairs of tickets for the Classic Cars Live show at
Alexandra Palace.
- Scroll down for competition details.




The Hempel - Special Offer
UKP 215 per room per night room only - reduced from UKP275+VAT for a Double
Superior Room.

- The Gore (Hotel of the Year 2001) UKP129 double rooms (save UKP61)

Bed and Breakfast:
- Hyde from only UKP17 per person per night

- Generator from UKP9 per person per night

- Free updates of all available rooms or tenants in your area


- For the latest information and tickets for a wide range of London's
premier attractions see our reqularly updated London Attractions page.
Top Sellers (27 February - 10 March 04)
1) London Eye
2) Fabergé
3) RHS Chelsea Flower Show
4) Madame Tussaud's/Planetarium
5) Tower Of London



HOTELGENIE: Our handpicked selection of fine European hotels.


- Madrid Bombs


The news that close to 200 people died in bomb attacks on Madrid railway
stations shocked everyone. It was the biggest terrorist atrocity in Spanish

Londoners have particular reason to empathise with the scarred Madrillenos
as we have suffered at the hands of terrorism in recent years and, with the
Iraq War, are once again a target.

One understandable response to this kind of sick event, especially one
directed against travellers, is to pull up the drawbridge, shut out the
world as far as possible and stay put. It’s understandable, but it’s a

I remember going to Ground Zero some weeks after 9/11 and was amazed by the
welcome I received from New Yorkers as I’d been a bit worried they might
think I was intruding on private grief. Instead the ones I met were pleased
people from outside witnessed their loss.

I think it’s important, albeit difficult, that anyone who had plans to visit
Madrid before the attacks, should carry those plans through and show some
kind of human international solidarity with the people of a wonderful city.
David Clee (mailto:[email protected])




Theatre Preview:
- When Harry Met Sally @ Theatre Royal Haymarket

When Harry Met Sally's reputation thus functions as a blessing and a barrier
to the stage production that just opened at the Theatre Royal Haymarket,
starring Luke Perry (Beverly Hills, 90210) and Alyson Hannigan (American
Pie, TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer) in the title roles, but it's a perfect
adaptation of a modern classic. The changes make it work onstage in ways
that a literal screenplay-to-script conversion wouldn't have, and the lines
are still just as funny as they were 15 years ago. It's a sweet story that
derives a lot of its content from sex, and beyond that, watching heartthrobs
excel at adapting a script is just plain fun. And the fake orgasm scene is
just as funny as it was in the film, with a great new twist. You'll want to
have what she's having; it's that good.
(Patrick Garvin, mailto:[email protected])

Special Deals:
Jerry Springer - The Opera @ Cambridge Theatre

Jerry Springer recently joined other smash hit shows: 42nd Street, Miss
Saigon, Oklahoma!, CATS and The Phantom of the Opera when it won Best
Musical 2003. Come and see America's favourite talk show host suffer the
worst day of his career.
The Deal: UKP25 tickets for theatregoers aged 25 and under! Valid on tickets
in the Upper Circle (usually UKP35) for all performances to 8 January 2005.
Tickets must be purchased at least 7 days before the performance date. Proof
of age may be required.

- More offers:
Tango Por Dos
@ Peacock Theatre - Best available tickets only UKP19.50.

- Theatre Tickets
Top Sellers (27 February - 10 March 04)
1) Phantom of the Opera
2) Bombay Dreams
3) Jerry Springer, The Opera
4) The Lion King
5) Thoroughly Modern Millie

- Theatre: A to Z of Shows
Our guide to all the leading musicals and dramas running or soon to open in
the West End. With quick links to previews, reviews and ticket pages.



- London Jazz Special

Review: Jamie Cullum @ The Shepherds Bush Empire
Tuesday, 9 March 2004

I'd been looking forward to this one for quite a while. Jamie's music isn't
my normal bag but having witnessed several spell-binding TV appearances I
was intrigued to see how the 24 year old lounge-jazz wizard would work a
live crowd close up.

His performance was remarkably assured for one so young. As a musician he
undoubtedly possesses a rare talent, be it banging away at the piano or
strumming his acoustic guitar. His real gift though is his stagecraft.
Having learnt his trade working his way across the lounge bars of Europe
Jamie has developed a natural, enthusiastic and knowing ability to perform.
Whether it be old standards like What A Difference A Day Makes or his own
material from debut album Pointless Nostalgic and the recent
Twentysomething, his capacity to work a thrilling interpretation through
deft arrangements is a delight.

Sadly though for all his undoubted talent to work an audience Jamie's
mission fell flat at The Shepherds Bush Empire. How could this be you
ask? Quite simply this was the most odious gathering of gits I have had ever
the misfortune to share a night with.

Picture the scene. We're stood near the bar looking down toward the stage.
Jamie and the band are movin' and groovin'. Average guy goes to the bar to
buy average girlfriend a drink. "Two beers please." To which pretentious
gits one and two and their friends pretentious gits number three to ten
chant in a spine chilling chorus: "SSSHHH!!!" And it gets worse. Regular
looking guy stood next to me is really getting into Jamie. It's welling up
inside him and he just can't help himself. He blurts out "Nice." To which
pretentious gits number eleven to twenty chant: "SSSHHH!!!" Maybe I'm
missing the point here. Perhaps I'm not present to enjoy a rising young
talent and have a few drinks. No, I should be participating in a collective
'How to be a sad pretentious git and chant SSSHHH!!! at appropriate
moments' game.

The whole thing came to a head when it was time for an encore at the end.
The normal folk did the decent thing and clapped and hollared for the
obligatory encore. The sad pretentious crowd tutted at this noise
disturbance and duly drifted away. Jamie came back on stage and played
just one song to the emptying crowd. A sad end to a great performance.

As a one time Smiths fan I think I have finally understood one of
Morrissey's most bizarre proclamations. After the break up of the band the
Manchester Bard declared he didn't want any Smiths fans to buy his records.
He'd moved on and they hadn't so please, please let him get what he wants. A
fresh start.

Maybe it's a consequence of fusing jazz with pop but Jamie, I urge you, take
a leaf out of the daffodil man's book, fix an appointment on prime time TV
and issue this warning. "Anyone attending my gigs in a purple velvet jacket
with a penchant for the 'SSSHHH!!!' word will be taken out and defrocked."
(Peter D. Clee, mailto:[email protected])


Review: Ram Jam Club Opening Night
Wednesday, 10 March 2004

Sticking with the jazz theme I attended the opening of the Ram Jam Club,
Kingston last night. After a frustrating time at Shepherds Bush the night
before (see above) it was a joy to get back to a venue far more fitting for
this style of music.

Located behind The Grey Horse, itself a long running rock and blues venue,
the Ram Jam Club is the brainchild of the pub's music loving landlord
Richard Fletcher. His idea is to serve up a selection of fine local and
London bands in this small and intimate place. He's planning to feature a
healthy mix of jazz and blues with an occasional comedy night thrown in for
good measure. Some acts will have regular slots while others will be
appearing as special guests.

For the opening we were treated to a double bill of Hoo Ha! and the Nigel
Price Trio as well a whole pile of good ol' southern cooking, spiced up with
a cajun style. The atmosphere was friendly, the food was fine and
importantly the music consistently hit the spot. And no one said "SSSHHH!"
all night. Nice. (Peter D. Clee, mailto:[email protected])

Ram Jam Club
46 Richmond Road, Kingston, KT2 5EE, Tel: 0208 549 8709
The above site is still under construction so further info see:

More Jazz:


Rock and Pop

- Gig Highlight:
The Streets
, Brixton Academy
Fri 21st May 2004, UKP17.50


- Gig Listings:
Our list of forthcoming London gigs. Plan your gigging and book your tickets

Top Sellers (27 February - 10 March 04)
1. Jamie Cullum - Hammersmith Apollo
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Hyde Park
3. Powderfinger, Hammersmith Apollo
4. The Streets, Brixton Academy
5. Gomez - Hammersmith Apollo



Classical and Dance

- Carmen, Savoy Theatre (3 July - 11 September 2004)
Bizet's great masterpiece bursts from start to finish with a score that is
amongst the best known in opera. Gypsies, soldiers, smugglers and toreadors
add colour and excitement to the story of the doomed love of Don Jose and
the fickle gypsy-girl, Carmen. The final juxtapostion of roaring crowds and
violent death is horrifyingly breathtaking.
Conducted by Stuart Stratford. Directed by Gale Edwards.

Top Sellers (27 February - 10 March 04)
1. The Magic Flute, ENO
2. Tosca, ENO
3. The Ring of Nibelung Prologue: The Rhinegold, ENO
4. Pavarotti, Kent
5. Tosca, Royal Opera
- Tickets:



- Film Of The Week
Drama (2002) 103mins UK/US
Director: Mehdi Norowzian
Starring: Joseph Fiennes, Elisabeth Shue, Sam Shepard

Violence simmers and erupts and words rain down in Leo, a thoughtful,
superbly acted and often affecting movie that begins with two apparently
separate strands.

In one, Stephen (Joseph Fiennes), released from prison after a 15-year
stretch for murder, is packed off by the authorities to work shifts in a
miserable roadside diner. In the other, Mary (Elizabeth Shue) chaffs at the
tightening bonds of her Stepford Wives existence. Stephen is baited
relentlessly by Horace (Dennis Hopper), the diner’s owner, while Mary
suffers mental-torture in her relationship with her child. In both, an
undercurrent of vicious cruelty builds an emotional wave that, it is
evident, will have to crash somewhere.

In a strong performance that defines the film, Fiennes plays a difficult
part well. He assumes an odd, blank expression that manages to convey both
the numbing effect of 15 years inside and the mental scars of his mysterious
pre-prison past – kind of Forrest Gump with brain. Stephen’s voice-over
frames the film and it begins with twilight shots of the open landscape and
percussion-heavy music, which all echo Terrence Mallick’s Badlands. But Leo
rejects that director’s nihilism in favour of some idea of redemption
through words.

The voice-over is part of Stephen’s diary/autobiography that he has been
writing since childhood and which, literally, saves the day. Mary, on the
other hand, sneers at the written word following her own tragedies and takes
solace instead in the bottle.

Some of the supporting characters aren’t as well drawn as the leads, but
they don’t take away the force of this film. In a way, it’s a brave movie as
it pushes the creative power of words and books, and therefore culture and
society, at the expense of family and personal and sexual relationships that
dominate so much of mainstream cinema.
David Clee (mailto:[email protected])

- Other New Films This Week
Carnages (15)
Honey (PG)
The Last Emperor: Director's Cut (15)
Northfork (PG)
The Principles Of Lust (18)
Spare Parts (Rezervni Deli) (15)

- Listings
A to Z of London Cinemas:
A to Z of Films showing in London this week:


Best way to soak up the sights of the city as you wine and dine
- Cruises on the Thames...



White Heat @ Infinity
Review Date: Tuesday 17 February 2004

A lot of club nights will dub their sets as punk, indie, new wave and
electro-clash. You might not be able to place any bands in that genre or
even know what those labels mean. Good luck, too, because most of whom
you'll ask will be resentful of your ignorance.

"I can't believe you've never heard of The Start."
"I can't believe you've never heard of not being pretentious and can't label
your music something that isn't ambiguous."
"Whatever. The DJ just put on some Belle and Sebastian. We're gonna go stand
and smoke cigarettes near the people who are dancing."
"Okay, cool. Have fun!"

White Heat at Infinity certainly has these types, but they're not so openly
hostile. Sure, it's hard to start a conversation with a lot of the people in
there, because they're too busy being hip and cool, but it's nothing
personal. Just imagine you're at a Star Trek convention and they can't help
getting caught up in their interests. The geek level is that high. And
they're just as friendly. Sweethearts, actually, because deep down under
their carefully planned outfits of purposely mismatched polyester jackets
and red trainers, they're warm and fuzzy. They're not really hipsters; they
just want to rock out to The Faint, The Postal Service, Soft Cell, New
Order, Elastica and the like. You've heard of at least one or two of those
bands, right? See, you, too, can play at this game. There's no reason for
the indie scene to be so exclusive and segregated. It's really just about
liking the music. See, it's a bonding experience, really.

The DJs are polite, too, and they play a variety of stuff, so even if you
don't know the bands that are the new buzzwords to be dropping when smoking
clove cigarettes, it's okay, because they will play something classic like
The Clash or New Order and you'll be able to feel like you fit in with the
rest of them. The stage is rather small, but big enough for the breed of
people who want nothing more than to dance to whatever is playing, whether
it's driven by drums, slow or completely indiscernible. It's just about
feeling out the music. The cool kids will know who sings the song and have
an opinion on who's in and who's so not in, but you don't need to know that,
and they won't bite.

10 Old Burlington Street W1S 3AG
tel: 020 7287 5255
travel: Tube: Piccadilly Circus

- London Clubs Chart: Most Popular Venues
(Based on Page Visits on LondonNet, Top Sellers: 27 February - 10 March 04)
1) The End
2) Metro Club
3) Bar Rumba
4) Heaven
5) Fabric

- Club Venues and Listings




The Hempel - Special Offer
UKP215 per room per night room only - reduced from UKP275+VAT for a Double
Superior Room.
The Hempel is a thoroughly modern hotel that prides itself on high-tech
chic. The brainchild of designer Anouska Hempel, this labour of love takes
design seriously and fuses influences from around the world.

Three of The Best
- Top three offers currently available to LondonNet readers:

The Ritz***** (Piccadilly)
- Style, sophistication and old-fashioned levels of genuine service come
together at one of the world's legendary hotels. New even better exclusive
rates for 2004, with half price deals on selected suites.

The Gore**** (Knightsbridge)
- Doubles now from only UKP 129 incl. VAT.

The Hyde Hotel *** (Paddington)
- Comfortable three star hotel offering the best value ever on LondonNet:
Just 55UKP for a double room!

- London Hotel Chart
Top Sellers (27 February - 10 March 04)
1) Columbia
2) The Gore
3) The Ritz


Best Value Accommodation for 2004:

Bed and Breakfasts:
Budget Hostels:


New additions and highlights from our sister site


5. NEWS: Latest news from London

George Loses Patience With CDs
- George Michael to release his music via internet in future
Smoking Kills Ten Thousand Londoners a Year, Says New report
- Fresh calls for ban on lighting up in public on No Smoking Day



- Vitality Show Compie
- Classic Cars Live Compie
This week we have two great competitions for you. Up for grabs are 5 pairs
of tickets for the Vitality Show 2004 at Olympia plus a special first prize.
Also on offer are 5 pairs of tickets for the Classic Cars Live show at
Alexandra Palace.

(1) Vitality Show 2004
26th - 29th March 2004, London Olympia
Beauty, fitness, food, inspiration, spirituality and relaxation at London's
Winner: Pair of tickets to Vitality Show + consultation with a Marks and
Nutritionist + UKP50 voucher for M & S Food.
Runners-up: 5 pairs of tickets to the Vitality Show

More info:

Qu: Which of the following oil essences is reputed to be the most sleep
a) Lavendar
b) Ylang Ylang
c) Calendula

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do to enter is send an email with the correct
answer and subject header "Vitality Compie" to:
mailto:[email protected]

(2) Classic Cars Live
Fancy a chance to see some classic cars driven by 007 himself? We have 5
pairs of tickets to give away for the new James Bond Collection at Pure Gold
at Classic Cars Live, 20-21 March at Alexandra Palace. Among the cars will
be the famous Aston Martin DB5 driven by Sean Connery in Goldfinger,
complete with bullet-proof screen, front machine guns and ejector seat.
There will be cars from every Bond era, including the Aston Martin Vanquish
and the Jaguar XKR used in the recent Bond film, Die Another Day. This event
won't be necessarily for your eyes only, but you can go for free if you act
Winners: 5 pairs of tickets to the VS

Qu: Who wrote the James Bond books?
More info see:

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do to enter is send an email with the correct
answer and subject header "Classic Cars Live Compie" to:
mailto:[email protected]

General rules and deadlines- see below


NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be
used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your details we can't
send you info about the prize!

RULES and INFO: First correct answer out of the Editor's hat wins the prize,
details will be sent to the winner. The Editor's decision is final.
Closing Date: 15 March 2004


LondonNet Competitions Page
- Details of some of the best free competition sites on the web. Register
today for your chance to win cash, cars and lots, lots more.

Issue 149, 27 February 2004
Watershed Compie
1st Prize: Christopher Maguigan (London, NW11)
Runners-up: Harry Woolhouse (London W14), Tim David (Wales CF1), Lucy
Pennycook (London SW15), Ella Jenkins (London W5), Dave Collins (London


7. AHOY! TALKBACK: Readers say their piece

Send mail to mailto:[email protected]
- The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons
of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
- We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of
course feedback about the newsletter or website.


Dear LondonNet,

You are showing that Wimbledon Odeon will be running the second part of
Lord of the Rings (The Two Towers) from 2lst March. According to them, they
are not. Who is correct?

If they are, can you advise where I can see this film? I am probably the
only person in the country to miss it.

Thank you.

REPLY: Hi Jennifer,
We are a bit confused here. We don't yet have listings for the 21st of
March. The current page shows that Lord of the Rings - The Return Of The
King is showing this week and next week not The Two Towers.

However you are in luck:
is on at The Electric, Portobello Road :
This is a great little cinema full of charm. I think it even has double
seats! It is one of London's oldest (if not the oldest) and worth a visit in
itself. Looks like they are showing all three films together as the start
time is
the same for all three and the next film starts at 6.30pm (School of Rock).
May be worth calling them Tel: 020 7908 9696 to check running times for
individual films.. (Ed)

Jennifer followed up our reply and got the following info from The Electric:

You are a genius - how did you find this? (Ed: I just had to leave that bit

In case anyone else wants to know, the situation is that the Electric are
showing all 3 films but not at the same start time. They are showing all
three one after the other for 3 days - this Friday, Saturday and Sunday
coming. Sunday is fully booked and Saturday getting that way.

It is organised as a special day out with food and drinks thrown in. It
costs UKP50 for the front 3 rows or UKP75 for the back rows with foot stools
(!). The day starts with breakfast of orange juice and croissant, and The
Fellowship of the Rings starts at about 11am. After lunch the Two Towers
starts and, after coffee/afternoon tea, the Return of the King Starts with,
I think, dinner thrown in later.

For more music details see:



HOTELGENIE: Our handpicked selection of fine European hotels.

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