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AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...
31 July 2003, Issue 135

LondonNet Homepage
LondonNet Homepage:

AHOY! Contents:

1. WHAT'S UP: London for Free, Pavarotti, Flatshares, Theatre Offers, Attractions
2. LONDON DIARY: Long Tabled Night of the Soul
3. ENTERTAINMENT: Theatre, Music, Clubs, Cinema
4. HOTELS: London and Worldwide hotel deals
5. NEWS: Latest news from London
6. COMPETITION: Hoegarden's Roof Garden Party
7. TALKBACK: The Watershed, More Film Listings Answers, Steep Eurostar, Driving Diana

Advertising Info:
Subscribe/Unsubscribe to Ahoy!:
- See bottom of email for link to subscribe/unsubscribe


1. WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet

- Hoegarden's Roof Garden Party Compie

Win two VIP tickets to Hoegarden's Roof Garden Party, a case of beer and a Saampler "Welcome to the Hoegaarden" CD (CD of DJs from the tour).
- Scroll down for competition details.

Date: October 7th 2003, Royal Albert Hall

The big man of opera returns to London to play the Royal Albert Hall for what could be the final time before his rumoured retirement.For more info and to book tickets for Pavarotti, click below:


In the last issue of Ahoy! I told you a little bit about our new flatshare service. Poor timing I am afraid as the system went down just as we sent the newsletter out. The blip was (relatively) temporary and I am glad to report things have been working fine since!

So a little reminder: It kind of works like an online dating service. Put up your profile and you'll receive free updates of all available rooms or tenants in your area. As with dating services the first bit is free, you only need a paid subscription if you decide you want to contact someone. It's good value and a useful alternative so go ahead and give it a try.



- Commodore (Moderate) UKP59 double rooms (save UKP86)
- Gore (Luxury, Hotel of the Year 2001) UKP129 double rooms (save UKP61)
Bed and Breakfast:
- Hyde from only UKP17 per person per night
- Generator from UKP9 per person per night

THEATRE: Special Deals
Tell Me on a Sunday: Best available tickets for only UKP22.50
Stones in His Pockets: Top price tickets from only UKP15
Calamity Jane: Top price tickets for only UKP20
Bombay Dreams: UKP15 off top price tickets


- For the latest information and tickets for a wide range of London's premier attractions see our reqularly updated London Attractions page.
Top Sellers (16-30 July 03)
1) London Eye
2) Summer Opening of the Houses of Parliament Tour
3) Madame Tussaud's/Planetarium
4) Tower Of London
5) The London Dungeon



THEATRE: Special Deals
Tell Me on a Sunday: Best available tickets for only UKP22.50
Calamity Jane: Top price tickets for only UKP20
Bombay Dreams: UKP15 off top price tickets

Great Offers, New additions and highlights from our sister site


- Long Tabled Night of the Soul


There is a contagion running wild in London’s bars and restaurants at the moment. It is a bug in possession of good taste as it only appears to infiltrate the trendiest of places.

I can’t be sure when it was I first happened across unfeasibly long tables but I am 100 per cent sure the bloke next to me was some boastful jerk with flinty elbows. After that initiation, I made it my mission to wheedle my way to the seats at tables’ end where the potential for such personal space invasion is halved.

That, at least, is how things stood for a long while until I noticed that no-one else seemed to share my concerns. It dawned on me that it was suspiciously easy to get that end-seat. The truth is I was the only grumpy sod who wanted it.

Self-analysis is something I have leaned to avoid ever since the day I first saw me in a shaving mirror but thanks to the whole-long table scenario I was forced to face the conclusion that I am a misery guts. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, they say. Actually I’m feeling a little smug because I’ve already moved on to step two. Yes, last night I let the bore, sorry man of minutely detailed conversation, talk to me for two minutes without once pretending to have an emergency bladder situation. Two minutes that were as long aurally as the table was physically, but still.

David Clee (mailto:[email protected])





Time was the mention of sound on stage meant a good old songfest and
probably a bit of a dance. These days it’s hard to be so sure. From the
likes of Denise Van Outen in the West End to the more experimental fare of
the Institute of Contemporary Art, music’s meaning is changing for todays’
theatre makers.

A far cry from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s offerings, my own Bluebeard’s Wives was
programmed by the ICA as a performance complete with audiovisual design. In
reinterpreting the Bluebeard myth, I used sound to evoke the mood of a fairy
tale past, along with film to represent the ghosts of dead women. The effect
was spooky indeed, and sure to chill audiences as the show moves up north
for the Edinburgh festival.

Yet Van Outen’s hit at the Gielgud is no less experimental in its way. As
the loner seeking solace in her own voice, the one time TV presenter makes
the stage a twilight zone between drama and musical. At a time when graffiti
counts as postmodern art, it seems that music blurs the lines between West
End and fringe.
(mailto:[email protected])

Up and Coming
Bluebeard’s Wives (opens 01/07/03)

Festival transfer for this fairy tale of degradation

My Fair Lady (Closes: 31/07/03)

Drury Lane says goodbye to ‘enry ‘iggins.

THEATRE: Special Deals
Tell Me on a Sunday

- Starring Denise Van Outen @ The Gielgud Theatre, best available tickets for only UKP22.50
Tell Me On A Sunday tells the tale of a young English woman's trials and tribulations in love when she arrives in New York. The music (by Andrew Lloyd Webber) and the lyrics (by Don Black) are considered to be amongst the best in modern musical history. Denise Van Outen returns to the West End following her acclaimed run as Roxie Hart in Chicago in the West End and on Broadway.
More theatre deals:
Calamity Jane: Top price tickets for only UKP20
Bombay Dreams: UKP15 off top price tickets

- Theatre Tickets
Top Sellers (16-30 July 03)
1) My Fair Lady
2) Chicago
3) We Will Rock You
4) Phantom of the Opera
5) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

- Theatre: A to Z of Shows
Our guide to all the leading musicals and dramas running or soon to open in
the West End. With quick links to previews, reviews and ticket pages.



Rock and Pop

Iron Maiden, London
Friday, 12 December 2003, Tickets UKP27.50 + Fees
The Maiden return! Following their storming headliner at Download, the newly reincarnated Donnington rock fest, as well as appearances at the majority of European festivals and a US tour to boot. In this 'Give me Ed... Till I'm Dead' Tour, Iron Maiden continue the non-stop metal mayhem. The UK legs of the tour support the soon to be released album, Dance of Death. No rest for the wicked, I guess...
Madness Tickets:
Our House , The Madness Musical:

Gig Listings
Our list of forthcoming London gigs. Plan your gigging and book your tickets

Top Sellers (16-30 July 03)
1) Justin Timberlake, London
2) Zero 7, London
3) Fleetwood Mac, London
4) Jools Holland and his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra
5) Fun Lovin' Criminals, London



Pavarotti Returns to London
Date: October 7th 2003
Venue: Royal Albert Hall
The big man of opera returns to London to play the Royal Albert Hall for what could be the final time before his rumoured retirement. The much-loved tenor will be performing in October for one night only in what promises to be a memorable solo concert at the Royal Albert Hall.

The venue, which has recently undergone a UKP 8,000,000 refurbishment, has played host to Luciano Pavarotti and friends on several previous occasions. With a career spanning over 40 years, the singer is probably best known for his passionate renditions of Nessun Dorma, and for making up the larger third of The Three Tenors alongside Jose Carreras and Placido Domingo. As his return is already being tipped as his final UK performance, Pavarotti looks set to please thousands of long standing fans for one last time.

To book tickets for Pavarotti at the Royal Albert Hall, click below:

Top Sellers (16-30 July 03)
1. Pavarotti, Royal Albert Hall
2. Bedford Proms in the Park 2003
3. Classic FM Live – Opera in the Park
- Tickets:



- Film Of The Week
Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (12A)

Action (2003) 109mins
Director: Jonathan Mostow
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kristanna Loken, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes
John Connor is a phantom - he has managed to erase his entire existence: no credit cards, no mobile phone and no job. In fact, no record of his whereabouts that could be used by Skynet to target him for assassination. Despite all his careful planning, Connor is located by the machines and they send a shape-shifting T-X cyborg back in time to kill the young rebel. The human resistance, wise to the dastardly plot, send back his former nemesis, the T-800, to guard their future leader... (more)

- Other New Films This Week
All The Real Girls (15)
The Draughtsman's Contract (15)
Floating Weeds (Ukigusa) (PG)
Kirikou And The Sorceress (U)
Legally Blonde 2 (PG)
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (U)
Veronica Guerin (18)
- In Preview:
Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (12A)
Respiro (12A)

- Listings
A to Z of London Cinemas:
A to Z of Films showing in London this week:


Best way to soak up the sights of the city as you wine and dine
- Cruises on the Thames...



- Club Venues and Listings



THEATRE: Special Deals
Tell Me on a Sunday: Best available tickets for only UKP22.50
Calamity Jane: Top price tickets for only UKP20
Bombay Dreams: UKP15 off top price tickets

Great Offers, New additions and highlights from our sister site




Three of The Best
- Top three offers currently available to LondonNet readers:

The Gore**** (Knightsbridge)
- Doubles now from only UKP 129 incl. VAT.

The Lowndes**** (Knightsbridge)
- One of the best of London's new breed of boutique hotels, The Lowndes is
right up there for location and attention to detail, in terms of both design
and service. Great rates currently available.

The Hyde Hotel *** (Paddington)
- Comfortable three star hotel offering the best value ever on LondonNet:
Just 55UKP for a double room!

- London Hotel Chart
Top Sellers (16-30 July 03)
1) Columbia
2) Commodore (now with doubles from UKP59!)
3) The Montague


Best Value Accommodation for 2003:

Bed and Breakfasts:
Budget Hostels:


New additions and highlights from our sister site


5. NEWS: Latest news from London

Skydiver Hits Calais
- Freefall for former mechanic
Livingstone Boosts Congestion Charge Company
- New incentives introduced for fines



Hoegarden's Roof Garden Party Compie
- Win two VIP tickets to Hoegarden's Roof Garden Party on Monday, 11 August, a case of beer and a Saampler "Welcome to the Hoegaarden" CD (cd of dj's from the tour). Please hurry as all entries must be received by noon tomorrow (Fri, 1st August). The winner will be announced in the next newsletter.
For more information on Hoegarden events, click on the link below:


Question: Hoegarden is brewed in a European country famed for its fine beers. Name the country?
Tip: Read the Hoegarden Saampler site (see link below).

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do to enter is send an email with the correct
answer and subject header "Hoegarden Roof Garden Party Compie" to:
mailto:[email protected]

NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be
used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your details we can't
send you info about the prize!

RULES and INFO: First answer out of the Editor's hat wins the prizes,
details will be sent to the winner. The Editor's decision is final.
Closing Date: 1 August 2003


LondonNet Competitions Page
- Details of some of the best free competition sites on the web. Register
today for your chance to win cash, cars and lots, lots more.


Issue 134, 10 July 2003
Laughing Horse Comedy Club Compie:
1st Prize: VIP Table for 10 plus drink, Runners-up: 5 pairs of tickets
Winner: Janelle McMeekin (London NW2)
Runners-up: Karen Goonan (London N4), Karla Trezzo (London W1), Bledar Kurti (London W1), Roxy Connor (Surbiton KT5), Catherine Waters (London SW18)


7. AHOY! TALKBACK: Readers say their piece

Send mail to mailto:[email protected]
- The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons
of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness.
- We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of
course feedback about the newsletter or website.


Re: LondonNet Compie Winner

Just wanted to thank you and the team at The Watershed for an excellent
night on Friday. Although at the short notice I could only round up 5
people to come, it meant more free drinks as we got 3 pitchers of cocktails
which were excellent. Front row seats which meant we were destined to have
the piss taken out of us, and I must say that one of my friends got
particularly picked on which was utterly hilarious!

All in all it was an exellent night and The Watershed is a great little
venue and everyone working there looks like they are enjoying themselves.
So nice to walk out of a place and have sore cheek muscles from laughing so

Thanks again


REPLY: Hi Janelle, we agree it is a great little venue. A few of us from the office went down last Friday and had a barrel of laughs. The jokes were largely on us though as we too had to sit in the front row!


Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,
Congratulations on a great site which I use often to plan my cinema trips and read the film reviews. I was, however, disappointed last night as you listed T3 Terminator 3 as showing at The Hammersmith UGC
at 8.30. You can imagine my frustration when I turned up at the cinema and it was not on until tomorrow - hopefully this was just an oversight?


Alex Dover

REPLY: Thanks for the letter Alex.

I've had a look at the Hammersmith UGC page:

The listing is correct, but I think I see where the confusion lies.

T3 launches London wide from Friday. However as is the way with many new big films it gets some preview shows at selected cinemas in the week preceeding full release. This normally involves only a few screenings and not a full week's run. In this case T3 at Hammersmith is only showing tonight (Thurs) in this preview week.

It's a bit of a spot the difference game I am afraid but if you compare the following listings

From Fri July 25
Progs Thu 11.00am, 1.30pm, 4.00pm, 6.30pm, 9.10pm

From Fri August 1
Progs 11.00am, 1.30pm, 4.00pm, 6.30pm, 9.10pm

You will see that the former says Thu. The latter specifies no days which means it runs for the full 7days.

It's normally particularly important to check which days the film is screening at Rep/Indie cinemas like the Prince Charles and Curzons. Likewise these previews will often show only one (or two) days screenings.

We'll have a think about a way to make it clearer (e.g. saying 'Fri-Thu' for 7 day runs) but as these listings are transposed from a huge weekly database onto the page this is not always as easy as it sounds. That said we'll try! (Ed)


Dear LondonNet,

Eurostar Prices

Why does it cost much more to travel Eurostar in the UK than on the Continent?

My wife and I travelled at peak time in a peak period from Nantes (West France) to Calais. The only fare available was 1st Class. The total cost was under UKP100 each.

Folkestone to London 2nd class over UKP220 each for a distance far less than above. How can they justify this?

Phillip Gilasbey

REPLY: The prices are the same whether you ride the Eurostar all the way from Paris or Brussels or just do a shorter leg. It was this very absurdity that started our Eurostar campaign all those years ago. (Ed)


Dear LondonNet,

Unlike many of those who pontificate about various conspiracies,
drunk drivers, Fiat Unos and motorcycles, I have actually driven
through Tunnel d'Alma myself, some time before the crash.

I was doing about 55mph at the entrance, which is about the speed
Diana's car was travelling at. If, as some say, they'd been doing
120mph they would have hit the bloody parapit!

The road bends slightly to the left at the tunnel entrance and then
falls away sharply, leaving the car light. This causes a very slight
understeer, which you will automatically compensate for as the car
drifts over to the right.

When the slope starts to level out, the wieght comes onto the front
wheels first, stopping the understeer and giving the rear end a
tendancy to swing to the right - thus turning the car towards the
pillars. You would then compensate for this by steering to the right.

As the car travels further, the weight comes back onto the rear
wheels, stopping the oversteer. The road is now curving gently to the
right, with it's line of concrete pillars in front of you. When the
rear suddenly stops oversteering, your wheels are pointed quite a bit
to the right. This causes the front of the car to kick quite
significantly to the right, throwing the rear to the left.

You are now headed for the tunnel wall, with the car out of balance
and the car oversteering once again. It now takes nerves of steel and
a lot of good judgement to put everything in order once again by
steering to the left, towards the line of pillars. Too much wheel and
you will end up crashing into them.

Sure enough, it is possible to correct the situation - I did it and no
doubt many others have as well. On the night in question, think about
what was happening in the car---Dodi & Diana may have been arguing
with Henri Paul and Trevor Rees-Jones. There may have been some debate
about where they were going. Dodi may have been telling the driver to
speed up, but Diana may have been telling him to slow down at the same
time - get the picture?

Under those circumstances it would have been very easy for the driver
to make a small error of judgement that ended fatally - as he did
indeed do.


REPLY: Such detailed analysis Alastair, thanks. However, all this talk of understeer and oversteer begs the question of what type of vehicle you were piloting on your excursion through 'the tunnel'. Was it front, mid or rear engined? Front, rear or all-wheel drive? For your information the Mercedes would have been front engine rear wheel drive, therefore far easier to drive fast through the bend, but far easier too to lose control.



THEATRE: Special Deals
Tell Me on a Sunday: Best available tickets for only UKP22.50
Calamity Jane: Top price tickets for only UKP20
Bombay Dreams: UKP15 off top price tickets

Great Offers, New additions and highlights from our sister site


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