AHOY! It's the LondonNet Newsletter...
25 April 2002, Issue 104

LondonNet Homepage
LondonNet Homepage: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/

AHOY! Contents:

1. WHAT'S UP: London for Free, Club Feature, Madonna
2. LONDON DIARY: Schedule is on God's Agenda
3. ENTERTAINMENT: Theatre, Music, Clubs, Cinema
4. HOTELS: London and Worldwide
5. NEWS: Latest news from London
6. COMPETITION: Maria Friedman tickets
7. TALKBACK: More Eurostar, 9-11 Conspiracy

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1. WHAT'S UP - What's new on LondonNet

Win a pair of tickets to see Maria Friedman,
the UK's leading musical
theatre star, when she plays in the intimate surroundings of the West End's
New Ambassadors Theatre. Click Here for competition details.


For the last 3 months LondonNet has been graced by the blossoming talent of
Michael Tedder. He's now headed back home to Florida. While here, Michael
was kept busy seeing bands, watching film screenings and going to clubs. You've
probably caught one of his reviews by now. Before he left we asked him to
prepare an American's guide to clubbing and live music. First up his
survival guide for checking out London clubs:
"Things you should know about London's clubs... especially if you're not
from around here. ."

- Get your pointers, or enjoy a wry smile at:


MADONNA: Up For Grabs Luxury Hotel Offer
Tickets sold out within hours for Madonna's West End debut at the Wyndham
Theatre. However, we managed to keep a few back as part of our special
Madonna Luxury Hotel Package. The deal includes five-star accommodation, a
pair of top tickets for the show, breakfast and a bottle of wine on arrival.
A real splash out. For details see:
or call 020 8949 5363 or email [email protected]


Noises Off for only UKP 15SPONSOR:

- See the National Theatre production of Michael Frayn's smash hit comedy
Noises Off for only UKP 15.

This a saving of UKP 22.50 per ticket for this modern classic which is now
in it's second year in the West End.

"If you haven't seen it, go. If you have, go again!" The Express

Noises Off is at the Comedy Theatre, Panton Street SW1.
Call the Box Office on 020 7369 1731 and ask for the londonnet offer. Offer
valid until 11 May.
Excludes Sat eves and is subject to availability.


- Schedule is on God's Agenda


Everyone has a secret ambition to do a job they know is beyond their reach.
Some want to play football for England, others dream of being the first human
on Mars, Iain Duncan Smith fantasises about becoming Prime Minister.

For myself, I have always wanted to be a TV or radio scheduler, a position
as close to God as an atheist is likely to find. Oh, the power, the
invisible manipulation of fate! You're even allowed a wicked sense of
humour, like when BBC London radio decided to reschedule John 'Gaunty' Gaunt
directly after Danny Baker.

You might not know Gaunt but his brand of tiresomely energetic
man-of-the-street populism is a boring staple of talk stations around the
world. Baker, on the other hand, is a wonderful one-off, an effortlessly
witty and original force of radio nature who leads his audience on a merry
dance through popular culture in a way that cannot but expose Gaunt's puny
efforts. Baker knows all this, or at least that's what I take his
significant pause to mean when his show is interrupted by one of Gaunty's
trailers. The scheduler must know it too, and what delicious sport he or she
must have every morning when casting a glinty eye over the station's running

I realise I risk comparing God here to Shakespeare's wanton boys who enjoy a
spot of insect torture, but there is a deal of evidence for the existence of
a playfully interventionist entity, a like-mind to the BBC London scheduler.
Here is a spirit who decided to have drippy John Major follow full-blooded
Margaret Thatcher, who found it amusing to schedule the1970s after the 1960s
and who, this past few weeks, has given us the spectacle of General Tony
Blair striding the world stage facing down military evil, while letting the
Greek government put on trial for spying a bunch of innocent-as-you-like
British plane-spotters. Sick humour maybe, but you've got to admire the big
guy's gall.

David Clee (mailto:[email protected])



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In the spotlight
- Ever since Cats announced its closure, the West End has been wooing a new
kid on the block to sustain its dwindling audience. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
looks like the long awaited crowd-puller, and offers plenty for hit-hungry
punters to sink their teeth into. Following in the footsteps of long-runners
like The Lion King, the self-billed fantasmagorical musical takes its plot
from a film and its charm from some truly scrumptious sets.

The directing is a surprising success. Well may the Royal Shakespeare chief
heave a sigh of relief as he finally lives up to his name - Mr Noble's done
the honest thing by the Sherman Brothers' musical masterpiece. Despite his
Round House season opening with a tepidly reviewed Winter's Tale a la
Hollywood, this musical extravaganza is actually better than the film.

What Noble taps into is the dramatic heart of Ian Fleming's book. The
airbourne car that sends this musical high flying is not just a gimmick, but
the soul of a tale about the sorts of dreams that deserve to come true. From
Lord Scrumptious's delicious sweet factory to Caractacus Potts' wacky
inventions, you'll find yourself believing in the unbelievable. Sugary stuff
this, but satisfying too.
Theatre Info and Chitty Tickets:

Up and Coming
- We Will Rock You
Don't stop them now - Queen and Ben Elton have teamed up for another excuse
to put rock on stage. Should be a killer.

- Bedroom Farce, Aldwych Theatre, Covent Garden tube
Alan Ayckbourne's hit comedy puts married life on stage. Plots and bed
sheets get in a twist in this Scarborough transfer.

- Theatre Tickets
Top Three Sellers (12-25 Apr 02)
1) Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
2) My Fair Lady
3) The Lion King



Rock and Pop

Gig Preview
- Mon 29, Tues 30 April @ Brixton Academy
Gomez: Less noise, more melody form Southport's finest.... Click here for
full review

Top Three Sellers (29 Mar - 11 Apr 02)
1. Here & Now 80s Concert, London
2. Destiny's Child, London
3. Blue, Wembley
- Tickets:



Swan Lake, Albert Hall (12-22nd June 2002)
- 'The world’s most popular ballet is closer and more intimate than ever
before, at times deeply tender and romantic, at others unfurling a
magnificent choreographic kaleidoscope which fills the vast arena of the
Royal Albert Hall.'
Call our classical ticket desk on
020 8949 5363.

Top Three Sellers (12-25 Apr 02)
1. Swan Lake, English National Ballet
2. La Vestale, English National Opera
3. A Masked Ball, English National Opera
- Tickets:



- Film Of The Week

About A Boy (12)
Director: Chris & Paul Weitz
Hugh Grant, Nicholas Hoult, Toni Collette, Rachel Weisz
Thirtysomething slacker Will Lightman pretends to have a child in order to attract the opposite sex.. ...click below for full review:

- Other New Films This Week
Italian For Beginners (Italiensk For Begyndere) (15)
John Q (15)
Roadkill (15)
Skin Of Man, Heart Of Beast (NC)

- Listings
By Cinema: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/cinema/index.html
By Film: http://www.londonnet.co.uk/films/index.html



- Club Feature
"Things you should know about London's clubs...
...especially if you're not from around here."
by Michael Tedder (an American in exile for a semester)

- Club Venues and Listings

- Club Advertising and Competitions
Want to push your club/event that little bit harder? Contact Iain for
targeted media planning and rates. Additionally we always welcome new
partners for our Club Competitions, as regularly featured in Ahoy! Email: [email protected]



- Virgin Wines is the premier source for wine online with over 17,500 wines
and champagne available. All delivered to your door. Click Here




Hyde Park Towers Hotel
- Queensway, London

ALTHOUGH I spend much of my time prattling on about London's finest deluxe
hotels, I realise that for many of you the prices can be 'slightly' out of

Fret not. Here at LondonNet we always keep the budget traveller in mind too.
Indeed our most popular hotel for the past five years has been the great
value Columbia in Lancaster Gate. We recently added another medium sized
budget hotel, The Hyde Park Towers to compliment the offering. This hotel
offers wood panelled character, clean rooms with modern fittings and a
convenient Queensway/Bayswater location.

Thanks to our exclusive rates with the Hyde Park Towers this is now one of
our best priced hotels. Doubles from 85 UKP per room per night, triples from
105 UKP. See:

Peter D. Clee ([email protected])

Three of The Best
- Top three offers currently available to LondonNet readers:

St James's***** (Piccadilly)
- Exclusive discounts make this our most affordable 5 star hotel. Doubles
from 135 UKP

The Ritz***** (Piccadilly)
Even bigger savings on your favourite deluxe 5 star London hotel. More than
40 per cent off selected rooms/dates exclusively for LondonNet readers. See:

The Gainsborough Hotel***** (South Kensington)
- Combines the attractive style of bygone days with an easy informality. 4
nights for the price of 3, or 7 nights for the price of 5 (valid throughout
2002). See:

- London Hotel Chart
Top Three Sellers (12-25 Apr 02)
1) Columbia
2) London Guards
3) Grange Lodge


New additions and highlights from our sister site Hotelgenie.com.

Cannes, France: Le Cavendish Hotel ****
LeCavendish was built in 1897 and reopened in May 2001, but the 19th century
atmosphere remains, as does the original elevator, facade and Caraba Marble,
all of which are classified as historical monuments. Though exclusive,
LaCavendish prides itself on friendly, approachable and highly trained
service staff.

Manama, Bahrain: Le Royal Meridien Hotel *****
Le Royal Meridien has seven places to eat, easy access to important
international events meeting centres and can even arrange for access to a
private island.


5. NEWS: Latest news from London

Space Just One Frontier for Londoner
- New astronaut also fights AIDS
- Experience space with new IMAX 3D movie
'Send Kissinger to The Hague', say Protesters
- Albert Hall speech by former Secretary of State dogged by war-crimes



NEW! Competitions Page
- Details of some of the best free competition sites on the web. Register
today for your chance to win cash, cars and lots, lots more.


Win a pair of tickets to see Maria Friedman
Win a pair of tickets to see Maria Friedman, the UK's leading musical
theatre star, when she plays in the intimate surroundings of the West End's
New Ambassadors Theatre .This is a unique opportunity to catch the double
Olivier Award-winning star performing a selection of her favourite songs.
Performances at 9pm until 27 April.

Question: Where is Maria performing?

HOW TO ENTER: All you have to do to enter is send an email with the correct
answer and subject header "Maria Friedman Compie" to:
mailto:[email protected]
NB Include email, telephone number and postal address (which will only be
used for this compie-guaranteed). If you don't include your details we can't
send you info about the prize!

RULES and INFO: First correct answer out of the Editor's hat wins the
prize, details will be sent to the winner. The Editor's decision is final.

NB You must be available to make either the 26 or 27 April 2002
Closing Date: Noon 26 April 2002


- SONY COMPIE: Win a Home Entertainment System
The Sony VPL-HS1 projector provides the ultimate "giant screen" experience -
ideal for films, sport and games. Think World Cup, think World Cup, think
World Cup....
Click here for competition details


- Issue 103, 11 April 2002
Vinopolis - Two Pairs of Tickets:
Karla Fraser (London, W1)
Sally McMillan (Bethnal Green, London)


7. AHOY! TALKBACK: Readers say their piece

AHOY! Readers say their piece: Send mail to [email protected]
Notes: The Editor reserves the right to amend your contributions for reasons
of elegance, space, legality and plain sheer bloodymindedness. The following
letters have been received direct here at Ahoy! Talkback or on our News
Talkback forum. Join the diverse debate by sending us an email or posting a
message on the forum: http://talkback.londonnet.co.uk/
We welcome your views on any subject, questions about your visit and of
course feedback about the newsletter or website.


Re: Eurostar Campaign

Please add my name to the list. I am currently looking for a cheap ticket to
Paris for a weekend whenever, and can't find anything cheap!

Jim Graham

REPLY: They've had a few cheaper deals recently Jim, but they tend to be
seasonal and short lived. We still want a long term price structure that
treats travellers on a budget with respect. Any chance of an easyJet-style
inventory based pricing system for Eurostar? (Ed)


Dear Ahoy!

I just thought that you might like to see this site I found last night.
Apparently it's proof that a 757 did NOT fly into the Pentagon on 9-11.
There are some good pictures here to back it up.

Thanks, Joyce

REPLY: This particular conspiracy theory has been doing the rounds here of
late. It's clearly in bad taste for most sensibilities. However, I do
believe we all have the right to make up our own minds. What disturbed me
most when I had a good gander at the site are some of the driving forces
that appear to be behind this particular conspiracy theory. I may be way off
target, but I can't help sensing a certain anti-semitism here. And then to
the 'evidence'. You see what bugs me most is if it wasn't a big passenger
jet that hit the Pentagon, how do you concoct life-stories of all the
fake -or did not really die- victims. I can't help feeling that conspiracies
of such magnitude need to be conducted by a very small amount of people. Let
too many in on the deal and someone, somewhere will crack. That's what makes
the assortment of loony theories around Diana's death that bit more
believable. Not many people at the scene. The only survivor an ex(?!?) spy.
See what I mean? (Ed)



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